“It’s linen,” he says, smoothing one lapel, then the other. “Linen can be a little wrinkled.”

“Hmm. Well, it’s a lot wrinkled. You might want to iron it or something.”

“You might want to mind your business,” he says.

“You might want to get a life.”

He stares at me a beat, shrugs, then says, “Why the fuck you ain’t eat it cold?”

I burst out laughing as Hannah looks at both of us, confused. “Eat what cold?” she asks.

“A ham sandwich,” I say, still laughing as Tyson beams back at me.

“Huh?” Hannah says.

I try to explain the viral video Tyson shared with me a few years back. It was an argument between two little boys in which one burns his sandwich and the other asks him why he didn’t just eat it cold.

“I still don’t get it,” Hannah says.

“It’s like the ‘Charlie bit me’ video,” I say. “You have to see it to get why it’s funny.”

“Oh,” she says, nodding.

“Trust me,” I say, smiling at Tyson and enjoying our inside joke. “It’s hilarious.”

Chapter 19

Tyson

I’m so proud of Lainey. I always have been—more than she probably realizes. As much as she half-asses a lot of things in her life, she really is talented. I have her entire series recorded, and when I’m doing laundry or other housework, I play back the episodes. Her scenes always shine, and she never fails to make me laugh out loud.

But I sometimes wondered if I was a bit biased. Or simply enjoying the novelty of seeing a friend on the screen. Now I know that’s not the case. If anything, it means she’s even better than I thought she was, and I’m so damn happy for her big break. Part of me also hopes that this will be the catalyst she needs to start taking her life a little more seriously.

After a champagne toast on our balcony, we head out to dinner. For the second time in one day, Alessandro has scored us reservations—this time at a fancy restaurant inside the Capri Palace Jumeirah. Afterward, we are meeting Hannah’s new friend at a nearby piano bar.

The girls are both wearing black dresses. Hannah’s is knee-length and, according to Lainey, “very Audrey Hepburn.” Lainey’s is short, tight, and, I must admit, hot.

As we enter the hotel lobby, Alessandro rushes up to Lainey to congratulate her. He is a perfect gentleman, calling us a taxi and even coming outside to open the car door for us. But as Lainey climbs into the backseat, I catch him staring at her legs. It’s harmless—and I can’t blame the guy for copping a discreet look—but I still feel protective of her. I also find myself hoping that she doesn’t drink too much tonight and put herself in a bad position.

It’s clear what’s on her agenda, though. As we pull out of the hotel driveway, she immediately says to Hannah, “I hope Archie’s friend is cute.”

“If he disappoints, you are more than welcome to Archie.”

“No chance! He’s all yours—”

Hannah laughs. “Hardly,” she says. “I don’t even know if I’m interested.”

“Stop it. He’s gorgeous.”

“I think you like him more than I do! You should take him.”

“Say it one more time, and I will,” Lainey says with a laugh.

I shake my head and smile at her. “Are you ever not shameless?”

“Are you ever not self-righteous?” she says, smiling back at me.

“Okay, you two,” Hannah says. “We’re celebrating tonight, remember?”

“I’m trying,” I say, suppressing a smile. “But the Pigeon Girl isn’t making it easy.”

Lainey laughs, then says, “You know what? I think we should make a deal. We all get laid tonight.”

“Lainey, hush,” Hannah says under her breath. She glances up at the taxi driver, looking mortified.

“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Lainey says.

“I’m not being a prude,” she says. “That’s just so…I don’t know…”

“Predatory?” I finish for her.

“How is that predatory?” Lainey says. “We’d obviously be with consenting adults!”

“Still. How would you like to be on the receiving end of that kind of ‘deal’?” I ask her.

She raises her eyebrows. “That would depend entirely on how good looking he is.”

I shake my head, smile, and say it again: Shameless.

—

Our Dinner is as incredible as Alessandro promised. We go with the tasting menu plus wine pairings, and every dish looks like a work of art. Too pretty to eat, Hannah keeps saying, as Lainey snaps photographs of her plates. After dessert and a sweet Vin Santo, the bill comes. I grab it.

“What are you doing?” Lainey asks.

“I got this one,” I say. “My treat.”

Hannah thanks me as Lainey pats my arm and says, “I guess chivalry’s not dead, after all.”

“It’s not chivalry. It’s just my official congratulations to you,” I say. “Don’t get used to it.”

Lainey laughs, then says, “Shall we head to this piano bar or what?”

“Can we go over a few safety guidelines first?” I say.

“Safety guidelines or morality policing?” Lainey asks.

“Just don’t go wandering off, please. And keep your eye on your drinks.”