I bolted the second he released me, hearing Hiko shout a few choice words at his father before he ran after me.
“Kar, wait up!”
I did not slow down, instead wading through the many hallways to the closest exit, a servants’ exit.
“Kar, I’m sorry, man.” Hiko fell in step next to me after I pushed out of the palace and chose one of my regular routes through the garden that led past the western towers. “I know we joked about your parentage way too many times without it being funny. If I had known… There is no excuse. I want you to know this won’t change anything between us. You were already like a brother to me. Now we’re brothers by blood.”
I nodded stiffly, my words just as tight. “Got it.”
The chilly evening air helped a little to cool off the turmoil inside me and the boiling of my blood.
I appreciated Hiko’s support, I really did. I grew up under his absolute training method. We’d bonded over the choice of a weapon already before I was admitted to the royal guard. I admired his guts.
I just needed to be alone. Break down alone.
“Who knew Father was sleeping around like that?” Hiko mused. He tucked his hands into his pockets and showed no signs of leaving. I didn’t ask him to. He was the prince. He was royalty, and I could not change my conditioning.
We strolled the gardens together with him blabbering and me focusing on my tangled emotions. After the first round, I minded Hiko’s company less. After the second round, I found it comforting.
Chapter 45
ISAY
I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T HAVE, BUT AFTER MY MOTHER AND THE physician left, I peeled off all the bandages and drew myself a bath. I craved to be clean. The water bit at my scarred skin when I slid into its comforting embrace.
Warmth surrounded me, similar to Karmuth’s body against me, but yet so different. The rippling of the surface when I moved my hand to catch bubbles did not compare to his steady heartbeat. His strength was unmatched.
I was desperate for some of that strength. Women could be strong too, no matter what my mother said. I strived to be as strong as Karmuth, though I knew I never would.
I knew now why I hadn’t felt as much pain as I’d expected. My mother said she’d heard Karmuth scream, which meant he’d endured it for me. After that, he’d come to get me out.
Only a short soak later I was out of the bath, in my bathrobe, and willing to wobble all my way across the reservation to find Karmuth. I didn’t account for Sinister camping out behind my door. Even though he’d appeared to falter by my nearness, he did not step away from the doorway when I tried to exit.
“Not tonight, Princess,” he said surly, as if seeing me attempt to break out this soon after my kidnapping annoyed him. “Anything you need will be delivered to you. What would it be?”
“I want Karmuth,” I announced to his raised eyebrow. “To talk. I want to talk to Karmuth.” That did not amend my statement. “I want to go find him, so that we can… ah… talk. Please.”
“I’ll have someone deliver the message to him,” Sinister said, shooing me back to my room.
“I want to go by myself,” I protested.
I’d wobble all the way back to LA if that’s where he’d be. Focussing on getting to him would submerge half of my worries. Left waiting for him, not knowing when and if the message got to him, or if he’d decide to come at all, would only heighten my anxieties.
“Not going to happen,” Sinister retorted.
I frowned. “Please.”
“No.”
I huffed bitterly. “Regar was more fun than you.”
“Regar also got you kidnapped,” he reminded me.
Ouch. That hurt. Seeing that there was no way I could convince the bull-headed Rottweiler guarding my door, I sulked back into my room, wishing there was more I could do. There wasn’t.
Other than to keep on replaying my mother’s story inside my head and everything that happened today, there was absolutely nothing to do in my room.
And so, I waited.
Chapter 46
KARMUTH
HIKO LEFT ME FOR DINNER AFTER OUR FIFTH CIRCLE AROUND THE reservation. After my sixth trek, I somehow ended up in Drek and Ronya’s living room with a glass of Void Sundance on the table in front of me.
Ronya looked like nothing ever burdened her at all. She was glowing with health, and that brought a ray of happiness on Drek’s face. It was exactly what I needed in my misery, to see two people blissfully in love and still alive against all odds. Even despite the sacrifices that had got them here.
“It’s always a joy to see you, Kar,” Drek said. “Especially after all you’ve done for us, but we didn’t expect visitors this late. Ronya could have baked something had we known you were coming.”
“Your presence is enough,” I replied, intending to smile.
My lips did not get the memo and stayed stubbornly downturned. Funny how I’d wished to be alone but the moment I shook off Hiko, I went searching for companionship.
“Is everything alright, Kar? You seem down, even more so than usual,” Ronya asked gently.
She was older than me by a century, but I never considered her a mother figure. With everything going on in my head and the way her voice touched my broken heart, I knew she’d been one for me ever since me and Drek started training together.
“It’s been a long day. A very long day,” I sighed. “I just wanted to make sure you were doing well after the attacks, and the disease.”
