He’s scared he’ll show that I’m a weakness, and while I find that endearing, I also find it frustrating. If I look at this as a business transaction, I need to make my presence known and show I can hold my own.
Instead, he’s hiding me away constantly. I’m planning our wedding and haven’t even met his mother yet. It’s almost as though he’s treating me like a fragile flower that cannot do anything.
Peter drops me in front of the restaurant and stands beside me as we wait.
“Penny!” Asher calls from across the road. She waits for the traffic light to change to a green man before she dashes across with a smile. “Sorry I’m late, work ran over.”
“You know. I’ve never asked you what you do that has such flexible hours. What do you do?” I ask, hooking our arms together and leading her into the restaurant to the hostess. “Table for two, please. Milov.”
The hostess smiles and leads us to the VIP section. Asher is about to explain her job to me when someone bumps shoulder-first into me. “Ow.” I cry out, touching my arm.
I look at the person in question and retreat slightly. It’s Carmen.
“Pen?” she asks sarcastically. “Pen, where have you been? You don’t get a promotion, and you just ditch work?”
Asher is about to say something, but I squeeze her hand. Carmen smiles and steps forward. “Ah, I see. Got yourself knocked up? Deadbeat guy, I bet. Now, my fiance…” She holds out her hand and shows off a ring with a multitude of diamonds. “Tom likes to spoil me. He knows what I’m worth. Just like the company knew who was worth more when it was time for the promotion.” She gives me a dazzling white smile.
I fight back the tears that are threatening to surface. “At least you’re just knocked up and not just getting fatter.” She looks at Asher. “Unlike some people.”
Asher takes a step forward, and I pull her back. “We were just leaving.”
“You should, you know,” Carmen says. “This kind of restaurant doesn’t cater to your kind. I believe there’s a burger place nearby that could do the trick.” She sneers the words, and I take Asher’s arm and drag her out of the restaurant.
Asher pulls out of my grip when we get outside. “Penny! What are you doing? Go back in there or let me go, and let’s kick her ass.”
“I don’t want the confrontation,” I say quietly, tears filling my eyes. “I don’t want to fight.”
“Penny,” Asher says my name softly, but I wipe at my eyes.
“I just want to go home. I’ve lost my appetite.” I take out my purse and give her a hundred-dollar bill. “Please get a cab home and text me when you’re there safe.”
“Penny,” she says again, but I shake my head as the tears start flowing more freely.
“I just want to go home and be alone, Asher,” I say, sniffing. “Please.”
Asher nods. “Okay, but only if you promise to text me later.”
“I will,” I say, turning to where the car is pulling up again. Peter opens the door for me before getting in himself in the front. I don’t even care about Currie and Peter being in the car. I put my face in my hands, and I start to sob.
All my insecurities, my smallness, and all my worries come flooding back. I feel so inadequate all over again and realize that Kervyn has been telling me I’m sexy and beautiful, and I was starting to believe it. I believed the lies of it. He was just trying to be nice because he has to marry me. It’s not a choice. I doubt anyone in the world would choose me.
We reach the house, and I walk in and hurry upstairs to my room, falling onto my bed and sobbing into the pillow. I must doze off because when I open my eyes, Kervyn is covering me with a comforter.
“I didn’t want to wake you, but you looked cold,” he says quietly. “You’ve been crying.”
“Did everyone tell you?” I ask sadly.
“Your face is tear-streaked.”
I sit up and swing my legs over the edge of the bed.
He sits beside me and nudges me. “Hey. I can help if you tell me what it is.”
“It’s not something you can help fix with a lie,” I say bitterly.
“When have I lied to you?” he asks, frowning. “Who said I lied to you?”
“You keep saying things like I’m beautiful and I’m sexy, and it’s not true. None of it is true. Asher wants to pretend being curvy is sexy, but it’s not. I’m ugly.” I burst into tears, and Kervyn wraps his arms around me and pulls my head to his chest. He strokes my hair gently.
“What happened today that brought this on?” he asks. “Who said you were ugly?”
I keep resting against him as I explain about Carmen and the things she said.
“Well, I guess I am kind of a deadbeat,” he says, gently resting his chin on my head. “But nothing else is true, Penny. I wouldn’t lie about your beauty. Do you think I’ve pleasured you because I pity you or because I find it attractive?”
I blush crimson. Thankfully, he doesn’t make me look him in the eyes. “Hmmm?”
“I guess you find me attractive,” I say quietly.
“Who is this chick to you anyway?”
Now, I lift myself from his arms and stare miserably into my hands. “Carmen. I worked with her, or rather against her, at my old job. I’m supposed to be flying to Spain or Portugal around now to celebrate.” I sigh.
“Celebrate what? Work?” he asks.
“A promotion that should have been mine. You see, I worked my ass off from the moment I started at that company, and this year a lead manager’s position was going to become available. Everyone, even that dumb bitch Carmen, knew there was no competing with me for that job. When I got to work on the day, I overheard my manager saying I was perfect for the job but couldn’t represent the company because I didn’t look after myself.” I look at him pointedly. “Because I’m curvy.”
“You got sexy curves. You’re a bit fuller than most girls think is pretty, but that doesn’t matter,” he says. “You did the job. You deserved the promotion.”
