I opened my mouth, only to close it when I couldn’t really remember.
He dumped the contents into the pan and glanced up from the stove. “Yeah,
that’s what I thought. We have thirty minutes to burn, might as well eat something. Hope you like chili.”
“Chili works.”
I watched him cook and realized this was the first patch of peace we had since he barged into my cabin. There was no one shooting at us, no one chasing
us, it was just me and him. The craziness would start all over once Wolf arrived.
I wasn’t sure I would get a better chance to actually talk to him, because Kelsey
had been right. My ignoring him for months had been the coward’s way of dealing with things.
Life, especially considering the last few days, was too damn short. Before Flash’s death, Kayden and I had danced around the possibilities. Maybe it was time to find out if he would really be there before I hit the ground. Better yet, would he want to be there? Was I just reaching for something to fill the hole of Kelsey’s death? Then there was the real question haunting me. If Ellery hadn’t been hunting me, would he have ever come back for me?
“Out with it, Cyn.”
Startled out of my thoughts, I looked up. “Out with what?”
“Whatever it is that has you looking for the nearest escape.” He pulled out two bowls and started dishing up. “I like chasing as much as the next man, but
really, I’m not in the mood right now.” He handed me a bowl.
I took it and went to the table. “You don’t chase.”
“I chased you.”
“That’s not how I remember it.” I pulled a chair out from the table, sat, and
then waited for him to join me.
He didn’t say anything until he was settled across from me. He opened his mouth to say something, but grimaced and shook his head. He picked up a spoon
a stirred his chili.
When he stayed quiet, I prompted, “What?”
“I don’t want to argue with you.” He took a bite.
I recognized my urge to do just that as the self-defense mechanism it was and
struggled past it. I took a breath, or two, while I stirred my chili. I didn’t dare take a bite because my stomach was too tied in knots to choke anything down.
During the last few days, he had been the one to re-open doors to our shared past
that I considered sealed shut. This time he wasn’t shutting me out, he was just refusing to be the one to hold it open. I couldn’t blame him, not after all the times I refused to step up. Gathering my courage, I kept my head down, focusing
on my food as if it, not his answer, was the most important thing in the world. “If
Ellery hadn’t come after me, would you have tried calling me again?”
“Once he was gone, yeah.” He paused, but before I could react to the
shimmer of joy his response brought, he asked an even tougher question of me.
“If I had, would you have answered?”
Thanks to the conversation with Kelsey before I headed up north, my answer
was all too obvious. “Yeah. I’d have answered, eventually.” I took a deep breath
and lifted my head, determined to go for broke. “Are we going somewhere, Kayden?”
His poker face was firmly in place, but the intensity of his gaze made me squirm in my seat. “That depends.”
My fingers tightened on my spoon. “On what?” What would he ask of me?
Would it be something I could give? Relationships and me, we didn’t get along
too well. As much as I wanted him, part of me worried I’d screw it all up before
it even got off the ground, if I hadn’t already.
“Are you going to run the first chance you get?”
I cringed inwardly at his valid question. “I’m still here, aren’t I?”
