One of her hands cupped the side of my face while the other rested high on my waist. Her mouth, gentle yet firm, worked against mine. Her tongue slid between my lips. I opened my mouth wider to accept it.
A flash of want tightened my muscles in forbidden places. I wondered, in a brief moment, what making love with Bonnie would be like. Would she be gentle and sensuous, caressing my body with her fingertips, both on the outside and on the inside? Would she be rough, taking charge and doing whatever she pleased with me as her willing partner? Had she been with many lovers or was making love something special instead of something to just pass the time?
As her mouth worked against mine as she kissed me deeply, and I let her, something told me it making love with Bon would prove to be exciting, rough, and gentle all together.
Shocked by her sudden display of affection, I tightened my arms around her.
She broke from our kiss, and trailed them from my mouth down my neck. “Your invitation doesn’t end here. Come away with me any time, Redella.” Her voice was a sensuous, throaty whisper. “I can’t bear the thought of leaving you.”
I took her face in my hands and looked her in the eyes. “You have the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen, Bonnie,” I whispered. “And such a beautiful heart.”
I pressed my lips to hers again, then pulled back. “Thank you, for everything.”
Bon sniffled, stepped back, and hitched up her pants. “Take care of yourself, Back from the Dead Red. Guess this is goodbye.”
I stared at The Molly Maiden from the railing as they prepared to set sail for the mainland. Bon caught me watching. Instead of waving, she kissed two of her fingers and held them out to me, before drawing them back to her heart.
My breath came faster as I kissed my two fingers and held them out to Bon before covering my heart, too. A brand of sadness I’d never felt before twisted in my gut as I watched them leave, my two fingers still pressed to my chest. With heavy legs, I trudged down to the captain’s quarters where my injured husband lay waiting. Irish Bon was gone.
Chapter Twelve
Swansea,Wales
I don’t pretend to understand women. Didn’t then, don’t now.” Jack stroked my cheek as we stood together on the Welsh balcony where he interrupted my wedding to another man. “But that was good advice Bon gave you.”
I blinked and tried to clear the fog that enveloped my brain when I dared think of Bon. “Advice?”
“About life. How life is just life. Live it and let it be.”
I nodded and studied the stark white railing. Jack’s stare was almost tangible as I traced the fancy molding with my finger.
“I know that you know, Jack.”
I glanced up at him. Shame veiled my eyes.
“About you and Bon?”
I sighed. “Yes.”
“Let me guess. It’s your feelings toward her that have you worried.” Jack chuckled. “Good God above knows the whole of the deep blue sea knows about hers toward you.”
My voice escaped in a whisper. “And you’re still here? Wanting to be with me?”
Jack shrugged. “I suppose if I have to share your affections, I can’t think of one better to share with than Irish Bon. Trustworthy, she is. With a good heart.”
“Yes, she is all those things.” I glanced at the ocean and tried not to choke on the words that had strangled in my throat for so long. “Jack—I need to tell you something.”
His fingers wound together in my hair. “I’m listening.”
“I’ve never wanted another man to touch me. Never did until I met you, actually.” I licked my lips. They dried again. “I never wanted anyone except you. Then there was Bon.”
“Darling—”
I dared a glance at my husband.
Something in his eyes softened as he looked down at me.
“Like I said. I don’t pretend to understand women. Even squirrelly ones like Irish Bon.”
“She’s special to me, Jack. More special than anyone else. Except you.” The invisible weight of guilt I’d carried with me like a cross lifted as the words took their leave. Something more sinister took its place. Burning guilt. “I’m sorry for not telling you before.”
Jack sighed. “I know how physically affectionate you two were, Red.”
Words strangled in my throat.
“I know you could have had her, made love with her, as easily as you and I did in our bunk. But you that didn’t. I know you stayed faithful to me.”
“How did you—”
He held up a hand. “A captain, or commodore as she calls me, damn her, knows everything that happens with his crew—and his wife. Let’s leave it, shall we?”
I nodded. Still, my head hung low.
“Red. I love you. And I know you love me. Whatever kind of friendship you have with Bon—it doesn’t change what you and I have.” He paused. “No more than anything, or anyone in my past changes my feelings for you.”
Angel-Arse Hazel’s face flashed in my mind. I wondered for a brief moment how many times Jack had taken her over the years before he came to find me. And if he felt for her what I felt for Bon.
I exhaled and smiled. This time, I didn’t have to force it. “I love you, Jack.”
