“I’m going to.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“So that’s why you wanted this? Because you thought I wasn’t going to sleep with anyone else, and you could. Then we would get back together?”
“I mean, yeah, kind of.”
“You’re disgusting. Get out.” I slammed the door again.
“Daisy, I wasn’t trying to start a fight.”
“Go away!”
“Fine, but we aren’t done talking about this.”
I heard him walk away and turned back to the room. I had two boxes left and then it was over.
My time here was over, my relationship was over, and at almost twenty-one, I was moving back in with my dad.
My life was over.
TWOKYE
I kicked the car into gear and peeled out, already expecting the swing of the back tires and turning to correct it. The car flew around the curve, and I spun the wheel hard as I straightened back out. I was ahead of the other guy, the last turn ruining his speed and improving mine. I told him when he asked for the race that I was good at this one. He thought I was being cocky, but I only wanted him to know before he threw down a thousand-dollar bet.
I went around the last curve, hitting the finish line long before he did, and turning to park by the crew. I nearly lived to race, and tonight was no different. The surge of adrenaline, the feeling of being so in control of my car that no one could beat me, and then winning.
The winning part always got me. I knew there were plenty of things I was shit at doing in life, but racing would never be one of them, and it was proven to me over and over when I won.
And I always won, or gave everything attempting to. It might be a curse. Quinn always said it might be. The way my brain shut down in a race until all I could think about was crossing the finish line first. I would rather run headfirst into a wall than lose. And I would. When the other racer would slow to be safe, I would speed up. Nothing seemed to deter me.
Among the hundred curses I seemed to live with, this one was the one I could handle.
I got out, pushing past a crowd of people, and heading over to the crew, who were standing around their cars. It was the only part about this place I hated, the loud crowds that didn’t seem to understand personal space.
“Thank you, Kye,” Ash said, grabbing a stack of money from the guy next to her. “Your race just secured my shopping trip tomorrow.”
It was race night at the empty lot we used for street racing. Everyone came out with their cars to race along the made-up track in a deserted parking lot. It was a round track tonight, the sharp curves fucking up half the guys here. They wanted to slow down and ease around them. I wanted to speed up and drift around the turn so I could keep going.
The crew knew my attitude about races, so they were betting on every race I did, confident that I would win, and so far, I had won three out of four.
“Thank you, because I had my eye on a new pair of shoes,” Ash said.
Fox groaned. “Did you even make enough to buy them?”
“Almost. After the next race, I’m good to go.”
“You better win it, Kye, or else I’ll have to make up the difference,” he said.
I laughed. “Not a problem. I think I can do this with my eyes closed.”
“But you’re not going to,” Quinn said, an edge to her tone because she knew I would try.
“No, I won’t.”
It’s not like racing here would help my chances of getting on Holt’s racing team, but it’s what I knew. It was a double-edged sword. I loved racing, and this was my way of doing it, but I also wanted to race for Holt, and he didn’t approve of street racing. There was a fine line between doing what I loved and risking getting arrested, which could ruin my chances with Holt if he found out.
But it didn’t seem to stop me.
Scout sat with Chase on her car with Jax and Carly next to them. Every one of the crew was in a relationship and I was happy for them. I could honestly say that the crew felt complete with Quinn, Ash, Carly, and Chase around.
They were happy and constantly seemed to think I wanted what they had. There was something about people in love that never believed that I didn’t want it. I didn’t want anyone touching me, and I had no interest in sleeping with anyone. The thought of hands on me alone sent a wave of disgust through me.
I wanted to be alone.
I didn’t think anyone but Carly tried to understand that I didn’t want someone. I couldn’t wrap my head around needing the affection or attention, or even having that much time to give another person. Keeping up with just the crew was plenty for me.
I headed back to my car, not worrying over anything any longer as I got ready for my next race.
My life was good. It was everything I wanted, and I wasn’t planning on any of it changing soon.
THREEDAISY
A week after moving out and breaking up with Dean, I found myself walking up to the lake house, my nerves already fried. I kept trying to remind myself that I was still technically friends with a lot of these people, and the ones here who I wasn’t friends with didn’t matter.
The panic still welled up in my chest, though. The chronic need for everyone to like me was still trying to burrow under my skin until I did anything to be friends with all of them again.
It had to be an illness. I wanted all of them to like me, even when I knew I didn’t like them.
