But there is also a message from Ben.
Ben
And what would "this" be that you missed from your dating life?
Before I can long think about it, my fingers fly over the keyboard typing out my reply.
Me
I'm not sure. I’ve read a few BDSM romance novels and some of what is described in them is not really for me. And people that have contacted me so far are also a bit scary.
Ben
Does that include me?
Instant reply―that's a good sign, right?
Me
No!
I'm talking about Lord Anal Pain.
Me
No, you’ve been different.
Ben
Good. Happy to answer any questions about the community if you have any. Don't trust all you read in books or online.
Me
Okay. So, I googled pleasure dom. That's what you are. Right?
Ben
Yes. I've tried other areas in BDSM, but I found my niche as a pleasure dom.
Me
So I read that you get pleasure from giving pleasure. Does that mean you don't spank?
Ben
That depends on the submissive. If she enjoys spanking, I can provide that. But I don't get aroused from providing pain, it's the pleasure I provide to her that does it for me.
Is that something that worries you? Spanking?
Me
100% I'm not really into spanking or pain.
I don't judge anyone who is, but I have bad associations with that and “sexy” really doesn't come to mind when I think about being hit.
Ben
And you don't have to, if that’s not something you’re into. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are to be treated carefully. Consent is key.
Me
You mean like Lord Anal Pain
Ben
WTF???
Me
That was my reaction when I thought I had a message from you and it was from the notorious L.A.P.
I hope he doesn't think I'm taking the mickey out of the BDSM scene.
Ben
Haha.
Just be careful with the app. There are a lot of genuine members on here who are looking for something (date, relationship) but there are also a ton of bellends who’ve watched too much bad porn and haven't got a clue.
Me
Noted.
Do you have a BDSM nickname?
Good lord, if this makes me blush then what the fuck am I doing on an app like this one?
Ben
No. I'm not playing a role. I’m me. My submissives tend to call me a term of respect. Some call me master, which, to be honest, is not my favourite, but I usually go with what she wants.
Me
I don't like master. Too… elite.
Ben
What would you call me?
