“We thought this could happen, didn’t we?” I say. “That was the reason we made our deal.” I won’t abandon him now. “What we feared happened a little before we thought it would. So all we have to do is speed up.”
Erik shakes his head and looks down, avoiding my eyes. I let my hands fall, feeling a sudden rush of hopelessness. If he doesn’t believe it can be done, doesn’t even want to try, how can I?
“You can’t help me anymore, Sol.” I stare at him, panic rising in my chest. He looks up and meets my gaze. “You can’t take up arms on my behalf. You work at Scorpio Games, and I don’t want my dream to ruin yours.”
I hug him. I press my arms tight around him and bury my face in his shoulder. I need his warmth as much as he needs mine. Nothing we can tell each other now will be easy to say or hear, so we stay silent.
I want to tell him I don’t care about my job at Scorpio. But since I don’t have any other job opportunities in sight, that would be the same as saying I don’t care about us.
Erik ends the hug and holds my hands. “Just stay out of it, okay? Focus on your career, on your promotion.”
I laugh with disdain. “You mean the promotion that will make me director of your game?”
“Love Birds is yours too now,” he says, and there is endearment in his eyes. Like he is happy for my involvement in it.
I give him a sad smile. “It’s still your app, and I don’t want to take ownership of it when Scorpio is in charge, and you’re not even there.”
“If that’s what it takes for you to stay in Denmark, with me, I’ll gladly pay the price.”
Silence. My eyes fill up with tears. It’s sweet, romantic even, that he’s willing to sacrifice his dream for mine. For us. But how can I be okay with that?
A gust of wind blows as we look at the empty playground. There is something ghostly about it at this hour. It’s gloomy, but also somehow magical, like an abandoned land outside of time.
“What if you talk to Lars?” I say after a while. “You tell him your version of the story and ask him not to go ahead with the project.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not?” I raise my head to look at him. There is a single light pole on the perimeter of the playground, casting a weak glow a few feet behind Erik. His eyes are dark in the shadows, their bluish transparency hidden.
“He knows it’s my project, and he doesn’t care.”
I can’t argue with that. I heard it from Lars himself.
“I can look for other jobs, you know,” I tell him with a weak voice that reflects my discouragement. With so many Europeans in the city, companies are not exactly jumping at the opportunity to hire someone who needs a visa.
Even Erik is still unemployed, and things are different for him. As a Dane in Denmark, he has so many rights that I don’t have. An entire support system. A network of people who can help him. A family who will always take him in and even aid him financially.
My parents can’t help me when I’m here. They barely make ends meet in Brasília, and I’ve even loaned them some money when they needed to fix their roof after a storm. I make more money than they do combined. Living costs are different here, much higher, but I’m still way better off than most people I know back home. It’s hard to give up on such a thing, even when you hate your job. I know it could be so much worse for me, and then I feel spoiled whenever I find myself loathing Scorpio Games. Even now.
So I understand Erik doesn’t want me to give up. He knows he’s more privileged than I am. That he could quit his job and live off unemployment benefits.
He knows the country doesn’t want me here if I’m a burden. And I know that even if we got married, nothing would change. I’d still need a job, a proven income. You don’t get Danish citizenship for marrying a Dane.
“I wish I could hire you in my company,” Erik says with a hint of annoyance, and I get annoyed too, because now the possibility of him making money off his app and kick-starting his business is going down the drain.
No. He doesn’t have to give up.
“You don’t have to stop working on the app, Erik,” I say with a hand on his face. “I know how much this project means to you. And you can make it happen. I know you’re on a tight schedule, even tighter now. They might start working on it in January. But you’re skilled and efficient. You can finish it in a month.”
He doesn’t reply, biting his lower lip, eyelids lowered. I run a finger over the crease on his forehead, wanting it to disappear. I wish I could make all his concerns vanish. I want to make everything right for him.
And yet, I’m useless. I have to work for the enemy.
But you don’t have to be loyal to them, a voice in my head says. Not Larissa’s. My own.
My heart is with Erik, and no work contract will change that.
“I’ll help you, Erik,” I say with sudden determination, “even if that makes me breach the noncompete clause in my contract.” I let out a rough laugh. “I mean, I haven’t been giving a shit about that anyway all these months.”
I’m pretty sure my boss wouldn’t be happy to know I’ve been working on an app that now competes directly with their future product. I haven’t been honest, but I don’t feel guilty. A war has already begun. And I’ll silently fight it at Erik’s side.
Erik looks at me with a slightly open mouth, the crease on his forehead deepening. “But Sol—”
“I can’t quit Scorpio for now,” I interrupt him. “But I won’t be loyal to them.”
“And what about the game director position?” There is a shine to his eyes as he blinks at me.
“I don’t know.” I look at my nails, swallowing hard. “Maybe I won’t get it.”
Erik holds me by the shoulders, making me meet his eyes. There is a new determination in his gaze. An intensity emerging from the shadows. “Sol. You need to get that position.”
“But—”
“It was always meant to be yours, and it will be.” His voice sounds a lot more resonant than it did a minute ago. The familiar Erik Storm fire is awakening in him. And I like that. A lot. The wild, determined Viking is back. “I want you to keep running for the position. You need to beat the shit out of Martin, okay?” I laugh a little and nod, keeping my gaze firmly on his. “If we can’t beat them to publication, I want the project in your hands. In good hands.” He caresses my face, and I cover his hand with mine. “Promise me you won’t give up, Sol.”
I nod again, hypnotized by his eyes. I can’t believe how considerate he is. How strong. How goddamn wonderful.
“I won’t give up,” I say.
