Violet licked her lips. “I would go before I was baptized so I couldn’t be shunned,” she said. “I’ve thought of that.”
“All right,” Elias said, nodding. “Let’s say you’ve done that. But you move to the city, and I’m on the acreage. You run out of money. You’re working really hard at a job as a waitress and even with good tips, you’re struggling to make ends meet. Things have gone wrong—let’s say you had a roommate, but she left and you’re responsible for all the rent alone. What then?”
“If...the man loved me, he’d marry me,” she said. “And then I wouldn’t struggle anymore.”
“But what if he didn’t want to get married?” Elias asked.
“He would.”
“Ah, but he wasn’t raised Amish, my dear girl. So let’s say he’s not ready to get married. He wants to wait a while longer—have more money, and be more sure. What then?”
“Then...I keep working hard,” she said.
“But the bills keep piling up,” he said.
“I could ask you for help,” she said.
“And I would give you help—I’d let you come live with me at home again. But I wouldn’t have money to send you each month, so you’d have to come home.”
“I wouldn’t. I’d work it out!” she said.
And that was his fear—that even if she needed his help, she wouldn’t come back. He’d have lost his daughter to the world beyond the fence.
“What if this boy...Liam, maybe...had a solution. What if he asked you to be his roommate? You could live with him. As his girlfriend,” Elias said.
Violet’s cheeks pinked. “But...”
“And it would solve the money issues,” he added. “And maybe you’d get married later. Lots of people do it. Not Amish people, but people.”
Violet was silent. She would never admit to even considering such a thing, but he knew that life out there could be very hard. And sometimes people considered options they never thought they would. And since she wasn’t immediately saying she wouldn’t, he could see her considering what that would be like.
“But after you moved in,” Elias went on, “and you were cooking for him and cleaning for him and being just like his wife, let’s say he still doesn’t feel ready for marriage. What then? Then your heart is on the line. And breaking up would mean finding somewhere else to live. It would mean facing hardship alone again. It would mean losing the man you loved.”
Violet pressed her lips together, and he could see her thinking hard.
“But what if he would marry me?” she asked at last.
“And what if he didn’t? I’ve heard of it happening a few times, actually. Those are the stories I hear from adults when the kinner are at youth group.”
Violet fell silent again.
“That’s the problem. If marriage matters to you because you were raised Amish, but not to him, that’s a big hurdle in a relationship. A lot of times men don’t want to give the commitment and the vows. They don’t want to take responsibility for a wife and kinner. They see a big difference between living with their girlfriend and marrying her, even if you don’t. So let’s say he’s like those other young men. What if he didn’t want to get married?” Elias pressed. “Now, you’re working as a waitress, you’re living with a man, he won’t marry you, and what if now, a baby comes along?”
“Daet!” Violet’s eyes filled with tears. “Why are you doing this?”
She was so much more naive than she thought, and he knew this line of thinking was upsetting for her, but it would be much worse if she never considered it at all.
“Violet, I’m trying to show you how easy it is for things to get out of control,” Elias said. “But the life you never wanted can start with the best of intentions, and your beautiful dreams for the future can slide away on you, and before you know it, you’re in a place you never thought you’d be.”
“I wouldn’t do that!” Violet said.
“Good. I’m glad.” He paused, and he wished he could just continue sheltering her, but there were things she needed to understand, especially now that she was old enough to long for that Englisher freedom. “But out there with the Englishers, you’d be alone. Choices you wouldn’t make with a family all around you to help you out might be harder to avoid when you’re on your own. Here in the Amish world, you’d have me and your grandparents and your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your friends, the bishop and elders—all people who care about you—looking out for your future...”
“And Delia?” Violet asked pointedly. “I’d have her, too, if you have your way?”
Aha. So maybe they were getting to part of the issue—the thought of a stepmother.
“Maybe,” Elias said. “Maybe you’d have a stepmother who’d love you and give you advice and could help you navigate courting.”
“And she’d tell you everything I did?” Violet said. “Like now?”
“Sometimes people caring about you means that they report back to your daet when they see you playing with something that could be dangerous,” he agreed.
“But you don’t even know Liam,” she said, her voice shaking. “None of you do!”
“I don’t,” Elias agreed. “You’re right. But neither do you, Violet. He’s just a boy who gave you attention.” He saw her expression close again, and he sighed. After one evening of talking, she thought she knew Liam. “I know how difficult life can be, and I’m trying to protect you.”
“I’m not going to do anything silly,” she said, and she took a step away. “So you don’t have to worry about that.”
But her definition of silly and his were very different. Violet turned toward the door. It looked like his opportunity to talk with her was closing. If only she could understand how very complicated and difficult the world could be.
“Let me tell you a story,” Elias said.
Violet paused in her retreat. “I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“Humor me,” he said. “Come back and let me tell it.”
Violet reluctantly returned to where he stood and she leaned against the rail again. So Elias turned back to grooming and began his tale.
