Grant flopped back onto the couch and began rattling off numbers, some in German and others in Russian, none of which were the truth.
Hailey crossed her arms. “What is the point of lying when you’re doing it in a language I can’t understand?”
“Hailey, this is humiliating,” Grant sighed.
“Come-on, Grant,” Hailey urged, “I just want to know.”
Grant brought his hands to his head and began massaging his temples. “Okay, let me think…”
“Gross! You don’t even remember them all?” Hailey blurted and was instantly sorry she said it.
Grant let out an irritated groan. “You’re the one that wants a stupid answer! Could you please try not to make me feel worse than I already do?”
“I’m sorry,” Hailey shook her head. “I’m not being judgmental.”
“Right,” Grant scoffed.
Hailey frowned, her tone sympathetic. “You’re serious, aren’t you? This conversation really makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, of course,” Grant nodded. “I don’t want to hurt you. That’s the last thing I want to do! But there are a lot of things in my past that I regret…things I look back on now, knowing that you deserved better.” Hailey started to speak, but Grant cut her off. “You think you deserve an answer, and you do, but have you ever stopped to consider that the answer might only serve to remind me that you deserve so much more?”
“You don’t have to tell me,” Hailey shook her head, feeling on the verge of tears again. “It’s not important. It has nothing to do with us and what we have.”
“If you really want to know, then I owe you that much,” Grant rubbed his hands together nervously. “Trust me, the old me, to whom you referred, would have lied without blinking and gotten this over with, with time saved and minimal damage done, but…I don’t want to lie to you.”
Hailey took Grant’s hand and wove her fingers in his. “You know… I think that’s all I really needed to know,” she smiled softly.
“I’d never lie to you,” Grant shook his head.
“I’m sorry that I made such a big deal out of this,” Hailey said sincerely. “I think there is just a part of me that is totally insecure about the knowledge that your experience in this department far outweighs mine. It makes me feel a little intimidated I guess.”
“You don’t have to feel that way,” Grant shook his head. “It’s totally different. This…what you and I have…it’s as new to me as it is to you.”
Hailey smiled guardedly. “Just one more question?”
“Shoot,” Grant nodded reluctantly.
“Erin?” Hailey gulped.
“What about her?” Grant said, trying, yet failing, not to sound overly defensive.
“She’s not one of those mistakes is she?” Hailey heard her voice fill with a boldness and confidence she hadn’t intended.
Grant immediately looked offended that she was asking; he stood again, poised and ready to storm out in a huff, but decided, instead, to give her the answer she sought. “Of course not,” he frowned. “I told you that nothing happened with Erin, and that’s the truth.”
Hailey smiled at Grant, loving the fact that his eyes lacked resentment over her question. Instead, what reflected back at her was a genuine sorrow that she’d even had to ask. Hailey patted the couch. “Sit down please,” she nodded.
Grant did. “Thanks to a horrific mental image that I can’t seem to erase,” he groaned, “you never have to worry about me cheating on you.”
“I know,” Hailey sighed. “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”
“It’s okay,” Grant shrugged. “Hero worship is overrated anyway.”
“The people we love let us down sometimes,” Hailey gulped.
“It sucks for my mom,” Grant shrugged. “But an important lesson was learned… and you can rest assured that your boyfriend is nothing if not loyal.” He pressed his head against Hailey’s as he rested his chin on her shoulder. “You think you’re nervous?” he whispered, changing the subject. “What about me? You have your first time so built up in your mind, and if it turns out to be a disappointment…”
“I really doubt that,” Hailey laughed.
“I’m just sayin’,” Grant shrugged. “There is a lot of pressure on me here.”
“Shut-up,” Hailey elbowed him dismissively.
“Now can I ask you a question?” Grant whispered as he began tickling her.
“Grant, stop!” Hailey shrieked as she thrashed around, giggling and slapping his arms repeatedly as she tried playfully to free herself.
Grant stopped tickling her and turned her face, so that her eyes met his gaze.
“What’s your question?” Hailey grinned.
“Do you love me?” Grant whispered.
“Such a loaded question,” Hailey whispered as she brought her lips to rest against the nape of his neck. Then, thinking better of it, she pulled away and tapped her finger playfully on the tip of his nose. “Of course, I love you. Always!”
Grant winked at her, and, though it was the cutest thing she had ever seen, she instantly wanted to choke him for it. If only he wasn’t so darn adorable this whole waiting game wouldn’t be nearly as challenging.
“Obviously we’re both struggling with this,” Hailey said confidently.
