“Fornicate?” Grant raised his eyebrow.
“Yes,” Hailey slapped him. “Don’t say…the F word.”
Grant wrinkled his brow. “No comment,” he shook his head. “But I won’t mention fornication again,” he grinned wryly.
“How have you managed to use practically every tense of the word in a span of ten seconds?” Hailey grumbled. “Nevermind!” she exclaimed, watching his grin widen, “ignore that statement lest you conjugate it farther!”
“Girl, that is proper biblical terminology,” Grant shrugged.
“Speaking of which,” Hailey made the clever segue. “We’re both intelligent people. Perhaps we need to be big enough to admit that too much time alone is not a good thing for us right now. I’m starting to think that our attention would be better focused elsewhere. We could do a community project; we could volunteer or plan a lock-in at the church for the little kids with cookies and games!”
Grant nodded, knowing where this familiar conversation was headed. “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God,” he quoted from the book of Colossians. “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.”
“Wow,” was all Hailey could say as she stared at him. “You really did…”
“Yes,” Grant nodded. “You asked me to read it…and I did.”
“And you memorized it?” Hailey smiled.
“I read it a couple times,” Grant shrugged.
Hailey felt tears welling up again.
“Don’t cry,” Grant shook his head. “You’re absolutely right,” he gulped. “I’m sorry for my part in…all of it.”
Hailey nodded her sincere appreciation. “I’ve always been taught that sin takes you further than you intended to go, keeps you longer than you intended to stay and costs you more than you intended to pay. I am just now realizing how easy it is to get caught up in the wrong things. I don’t want to be one of those girls who ends up going against everything she believes because the allure of some boy who tells her he loves her is more than she can resist.”
“And to think I have not even dipped into the depths of my alluring charm,” Grant winked playfully, trying to lighten the mood.
Ringing in Hailey’s head were the pointed words for my part. I’m sorry for my part Grant had said, and, whether he had purposely made such a clear distinction or not, Hailey knew he had a point. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression,” she frowned. “This is all very new to me. I don’t mean to tempt you. I don’t mean to give you any wrong ideas. I’m still blown away that I can even generate that lustful, longing look in your eyes. I don’t mean to. My mind is made up. My decision is final. I just really like kissing you, and I know I have been responsible for letting things get out of control at times. So, for that, I’m sorry too.”
“It’s okay,” Grant shook his head. He paused. “But, I’m not going to survive years worth of this, Hails.”
“You’re seriously back on that again?” Hailey laughed.
“Look at the bright side, I guess,” Grant shrugged. “I’ll save money at my apartment in Boston…no hot water necessary…it’ll be six years of cold showers for me.”
Hailey frowned.
“Just kidding,” Grant rolled his eyes.
“No, you’re not,” Hailey shook her head. She let out a conflicted sigh. “Can I ask you something?”
“Fire away,” Grant nodded.
“How many…” Hailey gulped.
“Years until we get married?” Grant smiled. “You’re right! I think we could reasonably bump it up from six to four years. We’ll both be finished with undergrad by then. We’ll get married and rough it through law school.”
“I’m being serious,” Hailey frowned. “You know that’s not what I meant. I want to know…how many…”
Grant looked away. “Hails, that’s not important…”
“You know my number!” Hailey protested. “Zero! Big, fat zero! I think it’s only fair that I know precisely how many women I’m competing with, don’t you?”
“Well,” Grant frowned, “when you put it that way, my answer is the same as yours. You don’t have to compete with any of them. None of them can hold a candle to you. Zero. Zilch. Zippo. None. Nada. Cero. Null. Keine…and I’ll say it in every language in the world if you’ll please just let this go.”
“I don’t want to let it go,” Hailey shook her head.
She saw something flash in Grant’s eyes, and she wasn’t sure if it was anger or something else. Then he took a deep, troubled breath. His words came surprisingly softly, genuine and full of remorse. “Believe me, if I had known that I would ever have to sit here and have this conversation with someone I love, I would have walked away from every one of them.”
“I’m not trying to make you feel guilty…” Hailey sighed.
“Hailey, I don’t want to hurt you,” Grant pled, “and that’s all this conversation could possibly accomplish.”
“I promise not to get mad,” Hailey shook her head. “The past is the past; I just feel like I’m sorta in the dark about…”
“They meant nothing!” Grant insisted. “They were all just mistakes!”
“I get that, I think,” Hailey gulped. “I guess I just really want to know how many mistakes we’re talking about here?”
“Why are you doing this to me?” Grant stood up.
“Don’t walk away, Grant,” Hailey begged. “Please…that’s what the old Grant would have done. Sit here and talk to me.”
“I don’t like to be interrogated,” Grant snapped. “Frankly, I don’t appreciate it.”
“Sweetie,” Hailey sighed as she reached for his hand.
