“He didn’t feel anything. He felt no pain,” she said.
I shuddered and nodded. I fell onto the cold, tiled floor.
CHAPTER 46
THE INTERVIEW
2021
[Studio]
JODI LEE: When asked about the accident on December 16, 2017, Marlow exited our interview once more, this time visibly shaken and unable to speak. Myself and our producers, of course, gave her time to calm down and collect herself. Her team did not allow our cameras to follow her, so we waited. Waited for her return to the set to finish her interview. Would we get any answers from her? Would she even come back?
[Roll package, pictures, and footage of accident scene]
JODI LEE: The accident happened nearly four years ago on a busy Minnesota highway. Sawyer Ford, the husband of Marlow’s sister, Isla, picked up Marlow from the Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport close to noon. The weather was questionable, as it had been snowing all morning. Exactly why Sawyer was the one picking up Marlow from the airport is still not clear.
What we do know is Marlow had been kicked off an American Airlines flight bound for JFK earlier that morning. The airline declined to comment other than to say she was in a condition “unfit for flying,” although a state trooper report would later indicate Marlow appeared intoxicated at the time of the accident. Sawyer was nearing his exit when he lost control of the Subaru Forester he was driving, likely due to the slippery road conditions. He overcorrected, causing him to hit another vehicle in the lane next to him. Both cars came to a stop. The accident was minor.
The tragedy begins here. Had that been the extent of it, Sawyer Ford would have walked away from the entire accident. Multiple witnesses who slowed down their vehicles to help said he exited his vehicle and bent down on the driver’s side to inspect the damage.
Now the details become unclear. Some witnesses think they saw him slip on the snow or even trip over something. Others say he was simply bent over by the front tire. But what happened next is not for the faint of heart.
A commercial truck that was unable to stop in time struck the thirty-year-old architect and husband, killing him instantly. His body was thrown more than one hundred feet away into a ditch.
Marlow survived the accident with a single cut on her face.
CHAPTER 47
ISLA
2017
You are in our thoughts and prayers.
I must have read that over and over in the sympathy cards that arrived daily. All in white envelopes and modest patterns because what greeting card company would make colorful, celebratory ones? I would fall asleep and wake up to that phrase, an intonation I hated.
Am I? Am I really in your thoughts and prayers?
What would that do now, even if someone did make good on that promise?
He would have been so damn polite. He would have thanked everyone for the cards as if they had sent sheets of gold, and made them all feel so cared for.
Sorry, Sawyer. I’m so sorry I’m not as kind as you would have been.
There was a small service at the Lutheran church he and Ada used to go to. The only thing that made sense was to do everything I could to help Ada get through it. For someone who loved her spirit crystals and tarot cards, she was a faithful churchgoer. I sat next to her as the pastor, a man I had never spoken to before, preached to our small, mourning crowd about what a beautiful life Sawyer had, even though it had been cut short.
He knew nothing about Sawyer. He had never met him and here he was telling us about his life. I had the urge to tell him to stop, but felt Ada shake with a silent sob and clamped my mouth closed.
Oliver took my arm and helped guide me to a waiting car. I looked at him gratefully and then had to look away. His eyes were red and full of pain. He had lost a friend too.
We drove back to our neighborhood, the shiny blue urn in my lap. It pressed hard against my stomach as its weight shifted in the car. I quivered with the oddity of it and wanted to get to our field as soon as possible. Those ashes didn’t belong in my embrace.
The snow had melted that morning; it had been hopelessly sunny and all wrong for a funeral. The tall grass was wet and bent. I waited for the wind to blow and catch the ashes as I held it up and poured.
Sawyer.
I closed my eyes.
I could hear our laughter as children all those years ago, our heads touching as we lay and stared up at a wide sky that had promised us so much. I opened my eyes and let the tears fall. They hit my mouth, salty and wounded, and I wanted to die right then.
Ada stepped toward me and took my hand, squeezing it. She didn’t let go.
“I know, honey. I know . . . he was a good one. We all knew it.”
She hadn’t spoken a single word until right then, and yet they were all I needed to hear from her.
We had a reception back at the house, so similar to Moni’s it made me queasy. Even the same white cake was served. Whose idea was it to get white cake? Sawyer loved chocolate. And why were there people here I had never seen before?
I did my best to thank anyone who came up to me. It was what he would have wanted, for me to be polite. But I felt like they were all spectators waiting for me to crack. Wondering how in the hell I was still standing.
I wondered the same thing.
As everyone began to mill out of the house, Oliver came up and touched my arm. “You sure you don’t want me to go back with you?”
“I’ll be okay. It’s been a lot of people, too many people, really. Believe it or not, I could use some alone time, after planning the service and the reception.”
“Positive?” His brow furrowed with concern. “I don’t like you being all alone in that big old house.”
