She was in profile now, and he watched her remove her glasses. He wondered at what she was staring. ‘How tense she looks.’ She ate her sandwiches, she seemed in no hurry.
‘What is happening?’
She turned her head from time to time, searched up and down the shore, then turned again, and stared out to sea.
He saw her roll up the sheet of paper and fling it into the wind.
‘I’ve never been so close to her, never,’ and he raised his head a little. ‘What will she do?’
He looked beyond her, expecting the man. ‘I’ll soon know.’
It was at this moment that she got up and walked towards the sea. Thomas knelt again, followed her every step.
‘Where is she going?’
He saw her dart forward, hold out both hands, heard her cry into the wind.
‘Colonel. There you are,’ she cried, stopped dead, ran forward again.
And the words came with the wind, into Thomas’s ears.
‘I thought you were never coming,’ she said, and threw herself forward.
‘Good God!’ and the Thomas hand went quickly to the Thomas mouth, as if to smother the words that had startled him. Miss Vaughan shook hands with the air. ‘How are you, Colonel?’ She waved again, cried aloud, ‘At last. You’re here, Colonel.’ Thomas came slowly to his feet. He watched a fresh movement of hands as she cried, ‘Down Suki, down,’ and patted the head of the dog that did not bark. More words drifted back to him, and they were crystal clear.
‘I hope your father is safe, Colonel,’ Miss Vaughan said, and linked arms with him, and together they walked up and down the shore. ‘Safe,’ and the leap in the voice. ‘I’m glad.’ Thomas felt himself drawn further and further away from the dunes. And he watched her pat the dog again, turn her head sharply, look up.
‘I thought you’d never come,’ she cried. ‘I waited and waited, and waited, and I looked at the sea. It’s so beautiful today. I’ve a little shell in my room, Colonel. I often hear the sea roar. Wonderful. Have you ever heard it roar close to your ear?’
‘Oh no,’ exclaimed Thomas, ‘Oh no.’
He stood erect, he stiffened, he wanted to shout, ‘Miss Vaughan! Miss Vaughan!’ and his lips trembled, and nothing came out.
As she came bounding towards him, Thomas fell flat on his face.
‘Come along, Colonel,’ she cried, and pulled him after her.
She was so close, he thought she might hear him breathing. He saw her sit down again, close by, very close.
‘So glad you came today. I wanted to tell you about the ship. You remember the ship, don’t you, and its anchor clinging to the very bottom of the sea. You said you knew all about it, you were going to tell me about the captain, but you didn’t.’ She laughed then, and shouted, ‘I shall tell you. Most extraordinary, the crew aboard and never sailing at all. Think of that, Colonel.’
‘Oh God,’ Thomas said, and did not realise he had spoken. She turned her head from him, and her conversation became more animated. ‘The long, long time I’ve thought about things, many things. And how the weather has changed, so suddenly. And this wind, Colonel,’ and she flung her hat into it, let the wind play with her hair. ‘The sand is so beautiful. I’d like to dance on it,’ she said. Low in his throat, Thomas muttered, ‘Colonel. There is no Colonel.’ ‘Let’s walk a little,’ Miss Vaughan said, and she was off again, and Thomas was staring, and went on staring.
‘Poor … no, no no .…’
He watched her pat the air, he watched her take the Colonel’s hand in her hand.
‘Down Suki, down.’
‘D’you remember a day when I walked all the way to your house? And you weren’t there. I felt cold in a moment, and I knocked, and knocked, and knocked,’ and Thomas saw her stare straight at the Colonel.
‘There was no answer. You weren’t even there. God alone knows where your father was. I remember crying to myself, “Gone, gone where?”’ Her voice was hushed. ‘And then I went closer, I looked through a front window. Quiet it was then. And I saw the big room. I saw your father standing in a corner, and a hand to his ear, listening. It was so silent. I once heard my father sing to my mother, “Take him to that far corner, and lay him down,” and I remember following him to the corner, but only the once.’
Thomas watched Miss Vaughan grab the air.
‘I once was followed a very long way by a man, Colonel, but I never looked round, and he went on his way, and then I forgot him.’ She turned violently left, still clinging on to the Colonel’s arm, gave a little run, and stopped again.
When Thomas saw her arms widen, he knew that she had embraced him. Her voice grew louder, more anxious, more persistent.
‘I remember a day when I nearly died. Think of that, Colonel. Died.’
‘So that is the Colonel,’ thought Thomas, his voice sepulchral, choking. ‘Out of the air, out of the sea.’
‘God help you’ Thomas said. ‘I still love you.’
‘There’s a ship now,’ she cried.
‘Poor creature,’ he said, and shut his eyes.
‘The wind,’ she cried, ‘I love the wind,’ and he saw her waltz the Colonel round and round, and then back to the dunes. She sat, she punctuated her words with a finger stabbing the air.
‘The first time I ever saw the world, Colonel, was out of a tiny window at Cae Mawr. Do you know Cae Mawr? Oh, you do. Fancy that. You’ve been there, and she clapped hands. ‘It makes me think of my father, made me think that I’m forty-five today. Imagine that, Colonel. As you grow up, my father said, the roads will get longer, and the walls higher. Age is for tumbling, he said. I think of that. The sea was very far away then, very far. I thought you’d never come today, Colonel. I said to myself, “Perhaps he is not being careful with his father, perhaps he hasn’t locked the door.” If you had not come, I would have gone straight ‘back to my room. I have a key. I would have locked the door, put out the light. Hidden. My father was sometimes wise, and sometimes, very good indeed with the words of Christ. He was also of the law, and very very careful of the law.’
‘To what am I listening,’ thought Thomas. ‘And at what am I looking?’
Thomas gripped the grass, hugged the sand, then suddenly he could no longer see her, she was not there, and it had grown quite dark, and darker again, and darker than that.
‘My sister did not say that I was blind,’ Thomas said.
