I felt my smile fade away as she stared up at me, my frown transferring to her. Right…if she wanted the throne, then I couldn’t be with her, for my safety or some stupid reason.
“No no, weren’t we supposed to do this together?” I blurted, grasping her shoulders as she shook her head. She was a little disappointed, yes, but not overly so. She knew I would protest. I had to.
“Charlotte, you can’t slay a dragon. Nobody can except for another dragon.” I knew this. It hurt. Still, I wanted to be by her side.
“You’ve gotten me this far. You’ve been my closest friend, my dearest companion. My love. So let me do this. Let me win this one for the two for us.” She softly brushed aside my arms as she returned into the moonlit night with Sebastian. I could tell that she was crying. I shouted for her, but she continued walking away, her cloak fluttering in the night.
I could feel tears rolling down my eyes. I was crying. Damn it, I never cry. I wasn’t supposed to cry!
I couldn’t help it though, because she knew that I’d never let her do that, just walk out on her own and do everything herself. She knew that if she stayed around, I’d keep trying to come along.
So she came to give me one last kiss before our goodbye.
I sniffled as I closed the door. I knew it was temporary, but there was a difference between waiting and being left behind. I’d been waiting for her to return, but now, I had been left behind. I hated knowing that Aria was doing both of our work by herself. I hated knowing she was right.
My fists closed as I slammed the door, tears still flowing down my cheeks. It was good news, yet for the first time in months, I felt truly alone. She didn’t just fall in love with me. I also fell in love with her, and now I had to watch her go.
I didn’t want to sleep in our bed, because I’d spend the entire night crying. Instead, I grabbed a cloak and slept on the floor, trying to sleep off the pain in my heart.
Chapter 17: Hollow Duty
Twang!
I bit my lip as I let go of the shot, feeling it fly wide. Sure enough, it did, landing right on the mark between the two outer rings. Missing that much stung more than if I had never shot at all.
If I was going to shoot a bow again, then I was going to have to unlearn all those habits I had grown up with. The last three shots had all veered to the right, even though I was shooting the same way before Aria healed my arm. It was frustrating.
I walked forward, drawing my pistol. At least I could hit with this. I steadied it for a singular moment, then pressed the trigger. The roar of gunpowder rang across the snowy field and black smoke drifted towards our home. Not bullseye, but barely in the second circle.
I could hear shouts from inside the house as I shook my head. Guess that’s what happened when I practiced firearms but didn’t tell them about it.
My mind was still focused on no longer having a straight shot with a bow. Aria probably fixed up my arm wrong. Speaking of which, trying to stay cooped up while Aria was out there doing her thing didn’t sit well with me. I think deep inside I always knew that I couldn’t follow her all the way, but having it thrust at my face so plainly didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Charlotte! What in the blazes was that!” Kennith’s shout blared across the snow-covered field as I let out a nervous chuckle.
“Just practicing my shot! With guns! Nothing to worry about!”
I knew it worried them. After Aria left and we had settled down, they began noticing that I had brought home a sword, guns, among other equipment that I’d never had. Myrtle didn’t hesitate to interview me with starstruck eyes, even as I informed her that swords were generally useless, and that dragons were fabulously unrideable.
I decided not to tell her that Aria was built like a giant tank on legs, though the massive wingspan was something she adored. She also loved the imagery of Aria blotting out the moon as she rescued me from that shootout in Arlond. Kennith spent that entire story looking at me like I was giving him a heart attack. Considering the things Aria and I have gotten away with, I wouldn’t blame him.
Now though, boredom has sunken in. Myrtle’s holed up in her study as usual, writing the next big thing with those dragon facts I gave her. My brother was constantly out, talking with his guard mates.
He’s likely tipping them off that something big is happening to keep them safe, but honestly, I couldn’t care less. It’s not like if we banded together or something, we could fight a dragon.
Meanwhile I was stuck here cooling my heels. Every hour was a frustrating combination of boredom, worry, and loneliness. I’d also had enough of target practice. I didn’t have the heart to blame Aria for healing my arm wrong; the fact that she could pull something like that was a miracle in itself.
Instead, I loaded up both guns, took a deep breath, and took two loud shots back-to-back. Two thunderous clasps echoed through the field, as I waited for the black smoke clouds to dissipate. I was off by about three rings each when I fired them one after another. Considering I had been using a toss-and-go method so far, more accuracy was better. Reminded me of when I tried to fire my bow in that blizzard that one time.
I grabbed everything and headed back inside. My footprints have pretty much created its own path through the snow during the week spent doing nothing. With a kick, the door snapped open. I stepped inside before throwing my bags across the room, not having the energy to bother. I’d clean it up afterwards.
“I know this sounds weird, but it still freaks me out how loud guns are.” Kennith was back, at least for now. He still had his coat on, which meant he was just here to drop something off. I didn’t care anymore. After hearing Aria roar, everything else was soft in comparison.
“Kennith. I can’t keep sitting here and doing nothing,” I shouted abruptly as he raised his eyebrows. “Everyone’s doing something and I’m stuck here! Too precious to field and not magically gifted enough to contribute.” I crossed my arms before taking a seat, resisting the urge to kick the living room table.
“Well, why aren’t you? It’s not like I could ever stop you from doing anything,” Kennith said, already knowing what my answer was. Normally he’d chuckle at a statement like this, but he’s heard it too many times over the last week to find it amusing anymore.
“Because I care! And I know Aria’s trying to keep me safe but she’s doing stuff the two of us ought to be doing together!”
I suddenly shut my yap. There was a hidden line there that would have made my complaints perfectly valid. If I was a dragon. If I was a Pact Mage. I wasn’t any of those, so anything I said made it sound like I had a suicidal death wish. I slowly sagged into my seat, defeated, as Kennith joined me in the living room, cup of tea in hand.
“I’m not stopping you if you want to go.” He took a sip, as he waited for me to catch myself and go read the Book of the Trinity or something.
“You have to go, don’t you? You should just leave.” I avoided eye contact as he shook his head, cup still in hand.
“Of course not. I’ll leave when my younger sister’s feeling better. No ifs, ands, nor butts.” Even though I could outshoot and outclimb him, he was still insistent on treating me like his little sister. Stupid Kennith being too nice for his own good.
“Also, for perspective, you are currently complaining about how you’ve been told by your girlfriend, who is a royal dragon, to please stay away because she’s doing royal dragon stuff, and she’s trying to keep you safe.”
And there was the kicker.
“Kennith, I can’t beat that. It makes me sound like a petulant child whining that she isn’t getting a piece of the action. I’m not arguing that I should be out there. I mean, I am, but not because I think I should be.” I pointed at the door with surprising vigor.
“I’m saying it’s hopeless, because there’s nothing I can do to be out there. Before, I could have a better shot. I could learn how to read formally. I could adapt. Now? Nothing. Look at me Kennith, I’ve been reading this stupid book, taking notes, and getting nowhere!” I slammed the weighty church text onto the desk to make a point.
“I’ve never seen you try this hard to play catch-up, ever.” My brother took a sip, bemused. When I was younger, I did indeed have a bad case of trying to do things that I should’ve saved for when I grew up a bit more. Lots of scraped knees and a few broken bones.
“I can learn all the fancy words, or whatever that nobles need. But I can’t learn magic, and I can’t turn into a dragon. That hurts.” My brother’s quiet tea sipping hurt almost as much. That meant he didn’t have a thing to add.
