As much as I’d usually think nothing of climbing into bed beside him, we were grown adults, and something inside me felt like it might be wrong. ‘You know, Maisy?’
He nodded, resuming his movement. ‘Ah, about that.’ I could see the cogs in his brain turning before he came to some sort of decision. ‘Look, don’t worry about it. It’s fine.’
Was it though? I opened my mouth to protest.
‘Honestly, Pen, nothing to worry about. I’ll fill you in properly tomorrow. Just shut up and go to sleep.’
At that, my interest was well and truly piqued. But he’d shut the conversation down, climbing into bed and checking his phone before setting an alarm and placing it face down. He had historically always taken the left side, and me the right. The first time we’d ever shared a bed, after a night out in first year, there hadn’t really been an excuse. My room was right next door. But we’d decided that we were too tired to walk even five steps further, and curled up in his bed instead. The number of nights we’d slept together had decreased over the years, but I still felt just as safe lying beside him. I took his word for it that we weren’t about to make a hugely immoral error and got in next to him, shuffling to make myself comfortable.
‘Rory?’ He’d switched off the light, so I spoke into the darkness.
There was a second of silence before. ‘Yeah?’
‘I’m sorry about tonight.’
From across the sheets, his hand reached for mine, squeezing it. ‘I think I’ll find it in my heart to forgive you. But I’m not protecting you from Dexter tomorrow.’
I snorted. ‘I think I can handle it.’
We settled into silence again. Rory hadn’t moved his hand, rubbing the back of his thumb over mine. The contact fizzed underneath my skin. I didn’t dare take a breath, not wanting to ruin the moment.
‘And just so you know’ – I heard his head turn towards mine, even if I could barely make it out in the dark – ‘Isaac’s an idiot.’
I nodded, already on the way to forgetting about the man who’d ghosted me. ‘Yeah.’
‘He didn’t deserve you.’ After a second he finally moved his hand from mine and turned away. ‘Night, Penny.’
I felt the loss of his body right next to mine and shivered immediately. Being as sneaky as I possibly could, I edged closer by a few inches. Rory was like a furnace, his body heat radiating out from his side of the bed.
What would happen if I reached over there?
I blinked back the thought, rejecting it as soon as it crossed my mind and rolling away instead. The duvet would have to do, heat wise. I tucked it right up to my chin. What was wrong with me? I’d had way too much prosecco tonight. Any girl would have felt attracted to the man who’d fed her chips on the Tube and given her a T-shirt. It was a sad girl’s instinct, right? Also, I’d kissed far too many people lately. The urge was bound to still be in my system. This wasn’t about Rory. I ignored the urge to scoot over a few inches again and buried it deeply.
Rory’s breathing hadn’t evened out yet, so I knew he was still awake.
Our backs weren’t actually touching, but I could feel the almost-contact as if we were pressed together. I rolled even further away, staring at the ceiling and trying to count sheep, deliberately pushing all other thoughts but fluffy white farm animals out of my brain.
I needed to get it together. For the sake of Level. For the sake of a friendship that had lasted just a couple of years short of a decade. Some things were too important to ruin with unsavoury thoughts. Rogue Penny had dug her claws in, but I could flush her out of my system.
I listened to the sound of both of us breathing in sync until sleep finally came.
19
When I woke up the next morning he was already gone. There was a note on his bedside table letting me know that he’d headed to the office but that he would cover for me if I was late. Everyone told me that the best part of owning a company was that no one would argue if you didn’t show up on time, but I’d never once arrived after 9 a.m. I checked my phone. 9.03. Great. I jumped into action, ignoring the pounding in my head. The later I was, the worse facing the music would be.
Rory had left a granola bar on the kitchen table, next to a glass of water and some painkillers, and a note that said ‘Consume all please’ in more of his messy boy handwriting. I did as I was told, this time, running my fingers through my hair and using my limited supply of third drawer belongings – a mascara, some lip balm, and a spare pair of knickers – to make myself look a bit more human. I yanked the leather trousers back on, pulling one of Rory’s white T-shirts from a hanger and going for the oversized, tucked-in look. His wardrobe mirror revealed two obvious eye bags. No amount of concealer was hiding those bad boys. This was going to have to do.
By the time I got to the office, I was sweating profusely from my time underground – and I was pretty sure my sweat was 90 per cent alcohol. Any and all efforts to look presentable had been erased.
All right, Penny, you can do this. I took a deep breath in. Everyone gets hanxiety. Even if it’s never usually you.
‘Morning!’ I bit the bullet, pushing on the door and strolling in with my empty coffee cup in hand. If I acted like nothing had happened yesterday, maybe everyone would follow my lead.
‘Morning boss.’ Dexter looked up briefly before getting back to his computer. Odd.
A few of the others said hi, barely glancing in my direction. Okay, even by regular standards, this was weird. Manifesting did not work. This was not my doing.
I made a beeline for the coffee machine, desperate for my next hit of caffeine. This coffee was going to be so sweet it’d make my dentist squirm. Dexter met me at the machine, bringing his mug over for a refill.
‘Just so you know,’ he was basically whispering, ‘Rory told us he’d cut the Christmas party budget in half if we mentioned it. But I cannot get through today if I don’t make at least one joke. Let me have it?’
Ah. Now everything made sense. I waved him on. ‘Go for it.’
He turned, getting a mini prosecco bottle out of the fridge. ‘Hair of the dog?’
I groaned. ‘You won’t be laughing when I vomit all over your shoes.’
Dexter stepped back. ‘You wouldn’t.’
‘One more prosecco joke and those New Balances are going to be green, not white.’
He shuddered, filling his mug and backing away. ‘Jokes aside, I thought it was kind of iconic. Way to show off your new personality transplant as of late. Kiss a rando at a party.’
The memory clung to me like a bad smell. In broad daylight, I could see how it might not have been my finest moment.
‘I thought I heard you come in.’ Ella came out of her office. Even though we’d been at the same event, she looked perfectly put together. She’d even done her staple eyeliner wings. ‘I left you alone with Harriet for literally one hour. What on earth happened?’
Clearly, Ella was the only member of this office who’d taken no notice of Rory’s threat.
