It didn’t take long for him to sober up. ‘What’s wrong?’
My expression must have been incredulous, because he pulled me in the direction of the entrance to the barn. Once we were outside, he turned to face me.
‘What’s going on? Are you okay?’
I felt the absence of his hand in mine now that he’d let go.
‘If this is about Level …’
I scoffed. ‘Not everything is about that bloody app, Rory.’
He crossed his arms.
‘This is about our friendship, and everything that’s –’
Now it was his turn to scoff. ‘Right. Our friendship.’
I recoiled. ‘Why are you acting like it’s the worst thing in the world?’
He sent a look skyward as if asking for strength. ‘Because it is.’
‘What?’
‘I said’ – he made eye contact again – ‘because it is. It is the worst thing in the world, being friends with you. It’s also the best fucking thing. And I know those two statements contradict each other, but my feelings for you have been a walking contradiction since the first time you walked into our university kitchen wearing those stupid giraffe slippers that you eventually wore to death.’
His chest was rising and falling as he got more and more angry. There was a fine line between anger and sexual tension, and I was feeling it. All the way down to my toes.
‘I don’t know what you want from me, Penny. Do you want me to say it? Do you want me to drive that final nail in the coffin? Sometimes I feel like you’re with me on this, and yet you always seem to freak out.’
All of those moments between us, when I’d tried to protect our loyalty to Maeve. The rash conclusions I’d drawn. He had no idea why I’d been backing off. No idea at all. And that was my fault.
‘Who was Maisy?’ I said it softly.
Rory sighed, staring at me, all the way through to my heart. ‘I made her up.’
And there it was. I’d been gathering all of the wrong evidence. Maisy hadn’t been code for Maeve, she’d been a protective measure for him whilst I was dating all the wrong people. And he’d been turning to Maeve for support, not sex. For someone who prided herself on common sense, I’d been really stupid. Dad’s words echoed in the back of my mind. The risk isn’t falling in love, Penny. It’s taking what’s right in front of you for granted. I fiddled with the maid of honour locket around my neck, anxious.
‘Your fidgeting is really distracting.’ Rory pulled my hand away, his eyes searching mine. ‘It kept me awake for hours that night.’
That night. The night I’d curled my body around his, when I thought he was fast asleep. He clocked my expression. ‘I was awake the whole time, Pen.’
I swallowed.
‘I was right there, and I could feel how much you wanted this – how much I thought you wanted this – and then you pulled away. Again.’
‘Rory …’ I looked at him. The man who’d always put me first, and who challenged me like no one else did. Who’d been able to get under my skin with wicked resolve since the day I’d met him. Who joked that he had a Penny worry-radar, and who had led me into more house parties than I could count, taking my hand and guiding the way. I felt all my anger melt away, morphing into something that felt even more urgent.
I took his hand, pulling him flush against my body, which was backed against the wall. Three squeezes. I. Need. You.
He looked down into my eyes, almost as if he was searching for confirmation.
‘Penny …’ His voice was a low growl.
I nodded once, and that was all it took. He cupped my chin with his hands, pressing his lips to mine. And there was nothing light, or platonic about it. This wasn’t a trial kiss. It was hard, and passionate, and loaded with eight years of repressed feelings. I felt the spark zip all the way up my spine. This is what it was meant to feel like. And it had been right in front of me all along.
He pulled back, his eyes searching. ‘What are we doing?’
A beat passed. I stared at his mouth, already craving the taste of him again. ‘You know exactly what we’re doing.’
Our communication had been murky as of late, but it was crystal clear now. He pushed me harder against the wall, kissing me like he was starving. ‘God, you feel good.’
Desire pooled in the pit of my stomach, and I thought about our hotel rooms, two doors apart. It was incredibly inconvenient that we were in the middle of a family occasion. He wedged his knee between my legs and I held back a pant, well aware that my entire family was mere yards away.
As his lips traced their way down my neck to my collarbone, I let out a sigh. ‘You know, I think it’s actually tradition for the best man to go home with the maid of honour.’
Rory pulled back, laughing against my mouth. ‘If you keep saying things like that, I might not survive dinner.’
I batted my lashes. ‘Things like what? Like everything I’m going to do to you later?’
‘Penny …’ I could see him struggling to restrain himself.
I gave my best angelic look, even though the things I was feeling were anything but holy.
His eyes flashed. ‘What do I win when my speech is better than yours?’
We’d made a lot of bets over the years, but this time the stakes felt higher than ever before.
I kissed the skin below his ear. ‘You get to finally find out exactly what’s underneath this dress.’
