‘Hey.’ Isla’s voice was slightly slurred. ‘This is my wedding, so this is technically my bathroom for the night.’
‘Oh, it’s you.’ Maeve ushered her in. ‘How are you, Isla Webber?’
She looked between the two of us. ‘Better now that I’m in on this little private meeting.’ She rubbed her heel. ‘I just need a moment of respite. And a pair of the flipflops we bought for the guests. I think I just stood on a canapé.’
Maeve and I were silent.
‘Wait, what were you talking about?’ She looked between us. ‘I have a feeling this is about to get juicy.’
Maeve leaned back against the wall. ‘We were just discussing how Penny is in love with Rory.’
I spat out the sip of wine that I’d just taken, and we all watched it drip down the mirror.
‘So she finally admitted it?’ Isla beamed. ‘I knew the wedding energy would crack you.’
We were going on a wild tangent here. ‘I haven’t admitted anything! What the hell, Maeve?’
Instead of looking sheepish, she just stood her ground. ‘Why were you so defensive when you thought I was sleeping with Rory?’
We were wasting precious dancing time, and we were going to miss the bread rolls. I’d been defensive because I didn’t want to be left behind, and I didn’t want things to change. I said as much.
‘You didn’t want things to change, or you didn’t want Rory to date someone who might actually be endgame?’
‘I –’ I thought about it. ‘That doesn’t make any sense. He lived with Lottie. That was pretty endgame.’
Until it wasn’t.
‘Oh, come off it.’ Maeve wasn’t backing down. ‘That relationship was never going to last, not with you in the picture. She’d had enough of coming second.’
Suddenly, so much made sense. Especially why Rory had been so hurt that I’d spoken to Lottie after their breakup. I was getting clammy. I wiped my palms on my dress. ‘We’re getting off-topic.’
Isla piped up, midway through reapplying her lipstick. ‘Penny, this is the topic.’
Right. So my brand-new sister was not going to be very helpful here.
‘I want you to really hear what we’re saying.’ Maeve snapped her fingers in front of my face. ‘You’ve been dating low-risk men since the moment I met you.’
I tried to argue, but then remembered my conversation with my father. She wasn’t wrong.
‘And I get it. It’s scary, being vulnerable. But it’s holding you back.’
Isla patted my shoulder. ‘It’s holding us all back.’
I blinked, feeling Rory’s hand on my hip this afternoon all over again. Remembering our almost-kiss. All of our almost-kisses. ‘But it’s Rory.’
Maeve softened. ‘That’s why it’s terrifying.’
‘Oh my God.’ I let the realisation slide over my skin. It was Rory. It had always been Rory.
Isla and Maeve were staring at me, looking like proud parents.
‘Does he –’
Maeve waved her hands in a ‘stop right now’ motion. ‘It’s one thing giving you an emotional awakening, but I’m saying nada about Rory.’ She massaged her temples. ‘Sometimes I feel like I should charge you both for my time.’
‘Right.’ I was pretty sure I was in shock.
‘But please’ – she took my face between both of her hands – ‘for the love of God, just go and talk to him. I quite simply won’t be able to fit you both in if I have to keep seeing you separately. Life is busy. And also, too fucking short.’
‘Amen to that.’ Isla nodded. ‘Now can we please get back in there? First course is coming out pronto.’ Isla jerked her thumb in the direction of the door.
‘Noted.’ Maeve picked up her bag from the sink, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. ‘Think about what I said, okay?’
***
I followed them out of the bathroom, feeling slightly dazed. Rory. I thought I didn’t know what it felt like to truly want someone, but I did. I’d always known. Things had been heating up between us recently and I’d just put it down to work-based tension, but it wasn’t. It had been a long time coming, and it wasn’t going anywhere. Rory wasn’t just my work colleague, or my friend. He was my person. And I had been a complete and utter idiot.
‘I’m going to go and grab my seat.’ Maeve followed my gaze to the other side of the room, where Rory was still flirting with one of Isla’s colleagues.
‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’ She squeezed my shoulder. ‘Ignore that. Textbook defence mechanism.’
It didn’t matter that I was largely at fault here. Seeing him flirt with a stranger hurt. Had I been doing the same thing to him for months? While one part of me felt bad about that, a bigger, more prominent part of me watched him flirting and was mad. So mad that my cheeks felt hot to the touch. Mad at myself for always, always being too scared to let anyone in, and mad at Rory because he’d given up on me at the first sign of conflict and was now flirting with a florist. I had no idea how he felt, but if I didn’t say something, I would lose him either way.
‘I know I said talk to him, but maybe you should wait until after …’
I ignored her, hitching up my dress and marching over in his direction. He saw me coming, eyes widening as he extricated himself from the conversation.
‘What the fuck, Rory?’ As soon as I was in his orbit, angry tears pricked my eyelids.
