As shameful as it is, I have to refrain from whipping out my own dick and beating one out right then and there. I’m so hard right now, and I want to fucking die of embarrassment.
What can I say? The flesh is weak. It’s fucked up.
And that’s the hypocrisy, isn’t it? If it had been anyone else on that video, I’d do it because it goes along with my own penchant for rough sex and revenge-fucking some girl just because her brother pissed me off. I’d do it because, in many ways, Bowen and I are the same.
And I hate it.
But this is different. It’s Evie, and it’s me, and now I want to kill him more than ever.
When Bowen’s done, he pulls out and scoots down on the bed. Then he throws one of Evie’s legs over his shoulder and spreads her wide to show me what he’s done. His cum is dripping back out of her and I bet she can’t feel any of it. He opens his mouth and lets his giant, freakish tongue fall out like a rabid dog and then starts licking it off of her to get rid of the evidence.
In the middle of tongue-fucking her, his eyes shift to the camera and he makes one long sweep from the bottom of her pussy to her clit, shaking his head back and forth as he goes. And when he reaches the top, he looks at the camera and winks.
The video abruptly ends just as there’s a bang on the bathroom door and I almost fall backward into the tub.
“Dude, are you watching porn in my bathroom?” Mason calls through the door.
Were you listening at the door, creep?
“No! Bowen’s fucking with me,” I brush him off, “spamming me with his fucked-up bullshit.”
I flush the toilet and flip on the faucet to make it seem like I was doing something other than watching my sister get fucked by Bowen, and then splash a handful of cold water on my face while I try to get a grip. When I open the door, I flinch when I see Mason standing right on the other side, blocking my path.
“Bowen sent you porn?” he looks excited, “Let’s see it!”
“No, dude, I only clicked on the first one. It’s probably full of malware.”
Mason seems to accept my lie and ambles back to the pool table. I grab a beer from the refrigerator at the wet bar and start pacing back and forth. I can’t decide whether it’s a good or bad thing that I’m drunk. The guys won’t let me leave, even if I try, and I’ll never convince them why I should suddenly go break Bowen’s knees because there’s no way I’m telling anyone about this video.
Instead, I pull it together enough to type out a text of my own.
ME (12:42AM): I’ll deal with you later you sick fuck. Just don’t show this to anyone else. She doesn’t deserve that.
To my utter surprise, he actually responds a few minutes later.
BOWEN (12:46AM): For your eyes only. Savor it. She’s mine. And if you or any other asshole looks her way I’ll bury you in my back 40.
Thanks…I guess?
I’m not sure whether to be grateful or totally creeped out. Not only because he sent me the video, but because his response catches me off-guard.
It’s threatening and overprotective. And also totally unlike Bowen.
Bowen doesn’t like girls. He likes fucking them, but he doesn’t care about them. He’s a chameleon who reels them in with a nice smile and the right words, but it always ends the same way. I think the only one he has any shred of respect for is Hildy because they have the whole twin thing going on. But he’d probably fuck her, too, if he could get away with it.
And the more I think about it, the more unsettling it becomes. Because I don’t know which is worse—Bowen fucking with Evie just to stick it to me, or Bowen setting his sights on her for the long haul.
CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX
Brett
Present
“I told you about how I tried to kill him, right?” I glance up from my cuticle, already starting to bleed from the assault by my burgundy fingernail.
“Your boyfriend?” Judy replies with a smile that says she already knows, “Yes, you did.”
“After what he did to me…” I still don’t like thinking about it. The dark room, the gun, his eyes, and the way his voice didn’t even sound like his own… “I wanted to kill that part of him—just the part that’s broken and filled with blind hatred. I know he wasn’t himself that night.”
“You can blame him for a lot of things that you didn’t deserve to be a part of,” Judy points out.
“But I have to accept it, right? I have to accept every part of him, even the parts that scared me, the parts he can’t control, and all the broken pieces that cut everyone they touch. I mean…” I pinch my eyebrows together, “who puts up with that?”
“Someone who’s invested,” Judy emphasizes the last word, “I know both of you have been doing the work. You see beyond your own wants, you see a future, and you make a decision. It’s not logical, it just is.”
See beyond our own wants…
My own selfish wants nearly got me killed and, oddly, his depraved wants are what ultimately kept me safe.
“What was your turning point?” Judy wonders, “You could’ve walked away. There were opportunities. What made you decide to stay?”
Could I have walked away? I did decide to stay. But there was more to it…
“It was when he told me,” I remember it vividly, “this is the part of our story where you trust me, I take care of you, and you accept it.”
“You decided to trust him then,” she tilts her head with curiosity, “do you still trust him now?”
“I’ve always trusted him,” my muscles relax and a crooked smile seeps across my face, “even when I haven’t.”
