With her pressed against him, warm and half-naked, he nodded off, too. But a heron’s croaking soon awakened him. A white streak passed overhead. He could have sworn the heron was staring down at them, and that its cry had been one of surprise.
11
On Wednesday morning, after returning from the Bashō museum in town, he found slipped beneath his door a small envelope. He took it to the table by the window. Assuming that Mariko had brought it, he was surprised that it had come instead from Yuki.
I hate to bear bad news, but Takahashi’s father passed away early this morning. I’m sorry, but that’s all I can tell you now. We have to go to Kanazawa immediately. When there’s more to tell you, we’ll be in touch.
Yuki
Death had come for his father-in-law sooner than Sedge had imagined. Had he been so gravely ill, or had there been unforeseen complications? He and Nozomi’s father had never really been close, yet they’d always treated each other respectfully. Her father had liked to drink, and there were occasions when he and Sedge sipped sake together at his house, in an izakaya, or during visits to the ryokan. He wondered again if Nozomi had known he was hospitalized, or if she knew now that he was dead.
The note on the table drew his attention. Yuki and Takahashi sometimes slid notes under his door when he wasn’t around or didn’t want to inconvenience him. And though they had been in a hurry to drive to Kanazawa, he resented that they hadn’t at least telephoned him with the news. Perhaps they hadn’t wanted to invite his questions, or deal with a possible request to accompany them, but until he and Nozomi divorced he would view himself as part of her family. So short a note pained him; it offended him that they could simply cast him aside the same way Nozomi had and that her mother seemed inclined to do. Was it a last hope they had cut him off from? A disparagement of their connection to each other’s lives? Trying to suppress his anger, he reassured himself with Yuki’s final comment that they would talk to him about things later.
But as the day wore on and he heard nothing, he was even surer he’d been forsaken. At the same time, he didn’t want to force himself on a family crisis in which he was unwelcome, where his presence would make things worse for himself than they already were. What disappointed him the most was the implication that he was to blame for what Nozomi had done. To him, this was what being kept at arm’s length by her family meant.
His father-in-law’s death distracted him from planning his English lesson and from the job research and apartment hunting he had gotten in the habit of doing. Rather than go to the tea lounge to see Mariko, he stayed cooped up in his room all day, not even bothering to have lunch.
By four p.m., though, he wanted to be outside. On his way to take a bicycle ride, he detoured to the front desk for any news about Takahashi and Yuki’s return. To his surprise, Yuki was there, busying herself with the check-in ledger.
“Did you just get back?” he said, coming up to her.
“About twenty minutes ago. I had to check in a tour group that arrived at the same time.”
“How is Takahashi?”
“He’s taking it hard, of course. He’ll stay with his mother tonight, and I’ll go up again tomorrow first thing.”
He noted her black mourning dress and remembered that he had a suit in his room, but it was navy, not black. He would have to find a more appropriate one to wear when the time came. “Did the doctors think his father was in such danger?”
“He clearly wasn’t well. But they expected him to recover. It was a shock to everyone.”
“I guess the funeral will happen soon.”
Yuki nodded. “Takahashi and his mother are planning it. The body’s been moved to a prefectural morgue. Soon there will be a small ceremony and viewing, followed by his cremation. If I’m gone for the next few days, that’s why. I’ve already notified our managerial staff, and they’ll let the workers know the situation, too.”
Sedge tensed at hearing her plans. “You said you’ll likely be gone for the next few days?”
“Depending on what Takahashi needs from me. Once he and his mother arrange what’s necessary, I’ll go to Kanazawa to lend a hand.”
“What will my role be?”
“Your role?”
Her confusion made him doubt the accuracy of his Japanese. “Am I not invited to help or to attend? He was my father-in-law, too.”
“The viewing will be public. A few of our staff may go. You could join them if you’d like.”
“You’re lumping me together with your staff? Surely I should be given some meaningful responsibility.”
Her tired eyes widened. “I’m the wife of the family’s first son. Doesn’t that explain why my role is greater than yours?”
“I understand that. But am I no longer part of the family? It would be nice if I could grieve with the rest of you and had the chance to say goodbye to Nozomi’s father.”
“I don’t make these decisions. But frankly, I don’t think that now is the right time to get angry.”
He lowered his voice, though he didn’t think it had grown louder. In any case, he thought his anger was justified. “And when might that be?”
From the corner of his eye, he saw the front desk staff shift their weight and shuffle papers uncomfortably on the counter.
Yuki’s voice cracked with emotion. “I keep thinking that if Nozomi were here, I’d tell you to take it up with her. But she’s not, so I can’t. It makes me wonder why you can’t keep your anger directed at her and not at the rest of the family. I hope you’ll reconsider your feelings before Takahashi comes back. Your selfishness at such a sensitive time is beneath you, don’t you think?”
He paused to let her words circle back to her. But now that they’d left her mouth, she failed to consider how they applied to her. “If anyone could be accused of that, it’s all of you,” he told her, as calmly as he could. “Until Nozomi and I are divorced, I’m still part of the family.”
“I think we should stop talking,” she said, her own anger discernable beneath a forced smile. “Surely we both have more important things to do than bicker at such an unfortunate time.”
Sickened by how things were unfolding, and no longer trusting himself not to inflame matters, he nodded and returned her bow. She disappeared into a rear office without another word.
As he stepped outside, he wondered if he had lashed out at her because of Nozomi’s absence. But it was hard to dismiss the feeling that she and Takahashi had shown him little sympathy aside from letting him live at the ryokan. He wasn’t sure how much credence to give to what Yuki had just said, as she could hardly claim to speak for Takahashi or his mother.
Before he knew what he was doing, he returned to the lobby. He wasn’t finished talking to Yuki, though he hoped that being surrounded by ryokan staff would ensure a degree of civility between them.
She had changed from her black dress into her normal work kimono, and stood again behind the check-in desk, speaking with a guest about a series of Meiji-period photos hanging in a corridor. When she spotted Sedge, she stopped speaking momentarily. He waited for the guest to leave before approaching her.
“Can I help you with something, Sedge?” she said, her voice outwardly pleasant but her countenance stiff.
“I forgot to ask how I can send Nozomi’s mother my condolences. I thought you might be willing to advise me.”
“I don’t know that they’re necessary, but I’ll ask Takahashi when I see him. If you’ll excuse me . . .” She turned away again. He raised his voice to make sure she heard him.
