If that was the case, one thing still bothered me about it all. Neither Clement nor Darlene had mentioned that Gordon had a drug problem when I asked them about people who might have wanted to hurt Gordon. There was no way they wouldn’t have noticed a drug problem in someone they spent so much time with. They’d either hid it from me, or something else was going on here—potentially something that led to Gordon Albright’s death.
10
I dropped Anderson off at his car, but before I could decide whether to head home or try to make it to where Clement was being held before they closed to visitors, my phone dinged with a text notification.
I’m worried about Russ, Stacey wrote. He had chest pains today.
Stacey’s text validated my concerns for Russ. I’d been afraid I’d been overreacting. Though knowing I’d been right wasn’t much of a comfort. It seemed like Russ had stopped caring about his health after Noah and my Uncle Stan died. But he didn’t want to talk about it or acknowledge it in any way.
The fact that Stacey texted me meant she expected me to have some solution. And I didn’t.
When my Uncle Stan had his drinking problem, my dad’s solution had been to pretend like it didn’t exist. At the time, I’d thought it was because he didn’t want to tarnish the family image by admitting his brother was an alcoholic. Understanding my dad a little better now, though, it could also have been because he didn’t know what to do about it, and the one thing my dad hated more than anything was to feel helpless or inept.
All of us pretending Uncle Stan didn’t have a problem resulted in him developing a dangerous heart condition. I refused to do the same with Russ.
I backed out of the parking lot and headed to Fair Haven. I’d wait to talk to Clement until tomorrow. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on his case properly right now anyway.
Forget concentrating, I wouldn’t be able to sleep until I had some sort of plan for how to help Russ.
My parents believed a lot of things that I didn’t, but one area where we agreed was that if you needed information on something or you needed something done and you weren’t an expert in that area, you should find the best person in that field and ask or hire them.
The best specialist when it came to health would be Russ’ doctor, but he wouldn’t discuss a patient’s health with someone else without the patient’s express permission. Even though I technically had power of attorney for health for Russ, that legally only took effect if he couldn’t make decisions for himself anymore.
But Saul might be willing to give me some advice as long as I kept the conversation general. He dealt with people’s health concerns on a daily basis, and he’d probably seen more than I could imagine. He also knew I had permission to pick up Russ’ medications, so it wasn’t like I was being nosy for the thrill of it.
Once I hit the main street, I took the next turn rather than heading straight through the traffic light to continue on to Sugarwood.
The pharmacy was busy when I entered, so I wandered the aisles for fifteen minutes until all the other customers had picked up their prescriptions and left.
The whoosh-whoosh of wheels turning behind me told me Saul had decided to seek me out rather than wait for me to return to the counter. This was the first time I’d ever browsed the aisles rather than coming in and heading straight for something specific.
I turned around.
Saul sat in his chair a couple of feet behind me. “I don’t remember filling anything for you, Nicole, and I know Russ’ medications aren’t due for a refill. Did you need help finding something on the shelves?”
I returned the vitamin bottle that I’d been reading the label of for the third time to the shelf. “Sort of. I have a health concern that I was hoping you’d be able to give me some advice on.”
Saul rolled himself backward manually. “Why don’t we head to the counter?”
It felt like something had lodged in my throat where my neck met my torso. I wouldn’t have had any problem coming to Saul for a recommendation on cold tablets or even something grosser, like athlete’s foot. This was different. It felt more personal in a strange way.
I hopped up onto the seat next to his consultation counter. When I’d first met Saul and he’d still been walking, he used to sit on a stool on the other side. His chair was too low for that now. Instead, he maneuvered his chair next to me.
His back tire caught on a display rack of discounted sunscreen. It lurched to one side.
I leapt for it, but it toppled over, spewing sunscreen all over the floor.
I dropped to my knees and collected them.
Saul cursed. “The aisles aren’t wide enough to be wheelchair-accessible. This happened last week, too, and I had to call in Victor to clean it up.”
It would have been humiliating for him to have to call his boss over that. Nothing in this place was accessible for people with disabilities. Not really. It’d been built so long ago and never upgraded. “That’s something else you can change when it’s yours. I’ve seen some people with those wheeled walkers struggling, too.”
Saul’s fingers stretched out, then contracted. “Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen.”
I stopped re-stacking the tubes on the shelf so I could swivel for a better look at his face. His lips were tight, like he was clenching his teeth. Had he looked into it already, and renovating the pharmacy after he bought it was too expensive? His medical bills from his surgery had likely been massive. Maybe they’d eaten through his savings. “I’m sure if it’s a cost thing we could put out a call for help in the community. There are a lot of people with construction or mechanical skills who I’m sure would be willing to help.”
Saul must have realized he was clenching his body so tight he looked like he was ready to shatter. He visibly shook it off. His hands flattened on the arms of his chair. “Victor sold this place to someone else. He gave me the news yesterday.”
Oh no. For as long as I’d been coming here, Saul had been talking about the changes he wanted to make when this place was his. It was what originally got us past the professional pharmacist-patient level because I’d worn myself down with managing the changes I’d been making at Sugarwood and came in asking about vitamins and immune boosters.
I set down the tubes I was holding and dropped to my bottom on the floor. “I’m really sorry. He didn’t warn you or anything?”
He shook his head. “He said he knew I couldn’t match the offer the new owner made him. The new owner is a pharmacist as well, so I’ll be lucky to even keep my hours.”
The tone in his voice reminded me of how I’d felt the first time I screwed up in court and almost destroyed our client’s whole case. It’d been the moment when I began to wonder if I’d made a mistake that I’d regret my whole life. I’d spent years in school and clerking.
If he’d been planning the rest of his career and his retirement based on the belief that he’d be able to buy this store, Saul could feel like he’d thrown away his future the way I’d felt I sabotaged mine. It was exactly what I didn’t want to happen to me ten or twenty years down the road. I didn’t want to make the wrong choice now and look back later to see I’d made a huge mistake.
Had I known him better, I would have hugged him. As it was, I didn’t know what to do or what to say. I didn’t have the ability to fix it—which seemed like a pattern for me lately—and everything that came to my mind to say sounded trite.
I settled on “I’m sorry.” It might have been a cliché, but it was true.
His shoulders bounced slightly, like an exhausted man’s version of a shrug. “You had a question for me, didn’t you?”
I’d almost forgotten why I’d come in the first place. I scooped up another cluster of sunscreen tubes and arranged them on the next shelves, trying to match them to the price labels since I wouldn’t actually be helping Saul if he had to come back and fix what I’d done later. It felt like the least I could do to make his day the tiniest bit better.
Now that I knew he had a new boss, I also wanted to be extra careful how I phrased my questions. I didn’t want him getting in trouble on my behalf for violating confidentiality. His old boss gave him a lot of freedom. The new owner might keep a tighter watch.
