Maybe the phone call he’d gotten was from someone in his past—in their shared past—and it’d triggered some memories. Maybe I’d overreacted.
My stomach settled, and I started in on my onion rings using my free hand. If I wanted, I could always swing back by The Patty Wagon and get that poutine burger afterward.
He stroked his thumb over my knuckles. “The call I got today was from a company in DC.”
I dropped the onion ring I’d just picked up.
“DC,” I echoed inanely.
I should have had something more articulate to say. Something to ask at least. But it felt like someone turned on a noise machine in my brain. So many thoughts screamed for my attention that I couldn’t grab onto any of them.
“They said they’d heard of my research in New York into new techniques of detecting poisons. They’re interested in building on that research to improve detection and treatment of poisons in living patients. They offered me a job.”
“A job. In DC.” Good Lord, I was starting to sound like Rain Woman. The noise in my brain must be killing off my brain cells.
A job in DC meant leaving Fair Haven.
The pieces fell into place, and my brain cleared. That’s why he mentioned Laura. He’d only returned to Fair Haven because she was mentally ill. It was possible he hadn’t wanted to stay here. He might have enjoyed his research-focused career. He might have enjoyed big-city living.
“Do you want to take the job?”
He gave a single shoulder shrug, about as noncommittal as one could get. “I’d like to consider it.”
Something lodged in my throat. I uncapped my soda and downed a big swig. Too big. Like I’d swallowed a log. I coughed until the pain cleared.
Where did that leave us? Would there still be an us?
I rubbed at my chest with both hands. Stay positive, Nicole. No panicking. “When will you decide? I’ve never been in a long-distance relationship before, but we managed to stay connected when I was back in DC even before we were dating.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.” Mark scrubbed a hand over his forehead. “I’m really bad at this.”
My hand twitched, hit the soda bottle, and it tipped sideways. All over Mark.
I grabbed our napkins, shoved them at him, and pulled the little package of tissues from my purse. This day definitely needed a do-over.
Pressure formed in my head that felt suspiciously like tears.
Before I spilled my drink on him, it almost sounded like he wanted to break up with me now. But that couldn’t be the case. We’d introduced our parents last week, for crying out loud. We were joking about what we’d name our kids.
Then again, it’d all been in jest. We’d never had a serious conversation about where this relationship was headed. I’d been daydreaming about white dresses and cute, pudgy babies, but that didn’t mean Mark was. For all I knew, he wasn’t even interested in getting married a second time and trying to start a family again.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said.
I must have been staring at him blankly because he patted the stain on his pant leg. “I never liked these pants anyway.”
He must have thought I was fighting tears because of the spill.
“You’re bad at what?” I asked. My voice had a strangled tone that I couldn’t control. I scooted backward a bit on the bench so I could see him better.
He set the clump of damp paper products on top of the picnic table and moved his onion rings around in the paper wrapper, not eating them any more than I was.
My chest grew so tight I couldn’t breathe. He was nervous.
“We haven’t been dating long. I know most couples move slower.” He folded an edge of the paper like some weird greasy origami. “But I want us to consider the job and make the decision together. If you don’t want to move back to DC, then I don’t want to accept a job there.”
The tension I’d been holding inside disappeared. He wasn’t breaking up with me. He was making serious future plans.
Moving back to DC is exactly what your mom wanted you to do, a niggling voice in the back of my head said. That’s a big coincidence.
I shoved the voice aside, but it popped back up again. My mom wouldn’t have… I shook my head. Yes, yes she would have. She wanted me to move back to DC, and calling in some favors to get Mark a job there wouldn’t be beneath her. My parents were master manipulators.
“Does that head shake mean you don’t want to consider moving back?” Mark asked.
Crap. I needed to pay attention to him right now and deal with my mom later. Even if she had arranged this opportunity for Mark, it sounded like a good one. We’d be silly to turn it down out of spite or pride, especially if it was something he wanted.
We—that idea sent a shiver through my belly. “It means I don’t know. I hadn’t thought about…us living anywhere other than here. Fair Haven feels like home to me in a way that DC never did.”
“For me, too. When I was in New York, I missed Fair Haven. But I loved the work I was doing.” Mark slid an arm around my waist and eased me closer. “The man who contacted me said we didn’t need to decide right away. He also offered to fly us out there to see the facilities and meet the rest of the team first.”
I’d been about to rest my head on his shoulder. I straightened instead. “Us?”
Mark’s Adam’s apple careened up and down in his throat. “I told him I had a girlfriend who I was hoping would soon be my fiancée”—his voice cracked on the word—“and that I couldn’t make the decision without her.”
My mouth went so dry I had to swallow twice before I could be sure my tongue would work. I could have used a swig of my soda. That felt a lot like… “Was that a proposal?” Stupid me. It had been a proposal to go to DC and help him make his decision, and that was definitely not what I needed clarity on. “A marriage proposal.”
My voice squeaked so high I could have posed as Minnie Mouse. Heat burned into my cheeks. If that wasn’t what he meant, I was going to feel like such an idiot. He’d said someday, after all. Not today.
The urge to bury my face in my hands or run away and hide in my car was almost more than I could stand. Why did I have to be so pushy?
