‘There is that. Not sure Rory is preferable though.’
‘You really are a miserable bastard, aren’t you?’
He chokes on his pint and then starts to laugh.
‘No one can ever accuse you of pulling any punches, can they, Lydia?’
‘Do you know, I think that’s the first time you’ve ever used my name.’
‘Is it?’ he says with blasé dismissal, which tells me he’s fully, fully aware of that fact.
I tilt my head and study him. Has he been adopting the same tactic as me? My mental labelling him with his full name has been a deliberate way of separating him from the passionate, sexy and, yes, caring, man that I had amazing sex with. Has he been doing the same in reverse? Trying to block memories of me from his mind? And if so, why?
‘Hey, roomie.’ Tansy drapes an arm around my neck.
‘Hey, Tansy.’
‘Bad luck on the challenge today,’ she says to Tom.
He gives her some sort of grimace, which I think is supposed to be a facsimile of a smile, but for once there’s a hint of real emotion in those steely grey eyes of his. I can’t quite fathom what it is. Hurt? Resignation? Angst? Fear? And then it’s gone, as fleeting as the phosphorus blaze of a match.
‘Tom’s teamed up with Rory,’ I say helpfully.
‘Oh, you mean dodgy-back-trips-over-his-own-feet Rory? What a shame,’ says Tansy with a grin. ‘He’s lovely though.’
Tom glowers at both of us.
‘Thanks for filling me with confidence,’ says Tom, his mouth firming in resignation, which once again draws my attention to it. Something – possibly my heart – flutters beneath my ribs. He can do wonderful things with that mouth.
‘Never mind.’ Tansy wrinkles her face in false sympathy. Can she not feel the charge of electricity that hovers above my skin at his very proximity? Is this all in my imagination? All I can say is thank Christ I won’t be seeing him for a while. I am starting to fear for my sanity.
Chapter Six LYDIA
When Mark places a blindfold on me and guides me out to one of the waiting Land Rovers the following morning, my breakfast starts to churn in my stomach like a brick in a tumble dryer. Apprehension sizzles along my nerves. Suddenly this is horribly real and not a game.
In the back of the Land Rover, I can hear other people breathing and I’m sitting sandwiched between two other bodies. No one is speaking. I think being blindfolded does that to you. Makes you feel insular. In the dark it’s like being a kid again, not sure of the rules and fearful that everyone else knows what they’re doing and I don’t. I clutch my rucksack protectively to me, as if it’s a life vest. It has my things in there and, try as hard as I could last night and this morning, I couldn’t bring myself to ditch everything. It might be a bit heavy, but I will carry everything in it to the ends of the earth.
The engine chugs into life and the radio on the dashboard blares into life, ironically with REM’s ‘It’s the End of the World As We Know It’. Nervous laughter titters in the back as off we go. Reliant on my sense of hearing, I strain my ears to listen for anything over and above the engine. I clench my fists on my knees, my eyes closed behind the blindfold. I have to take deep, even breaths because I want to snatch that fucker off my face. The muscles in my back are bunched as if I might spring into action like a leopard on its prey. I hate this. Absolutely hate it. Being at the mercy of someone else. I want to get out of the Land Rover. Right now. Panic is creeping over me, strangling ivy, wrapping its way around me with insidious tendrils of self-doubt.
I hold in a sob, but it shakes my body.
‘Lydia?’ It’s Tom’s voice. He’s right beside me. ‘You okay?’ he whispers.
‘Mm.’ My voice, tight with tension is croaky. ‘Don’t like the blindfold,’ I murmur back, sounding childlike.
I feel his hand fumble across my thigh to take mine. ‘Shame,’ he murmurs in a smoky voice full of sex and sin. ‘I’ve heard it can be a lot of fun.’
Despite his words, his hand gives mine a reassuring squeeze and I splutter out a laugh. ‘I don’t believe you just said that.’
‘Took your mind off things, didn’t it? They should provide silk blindfolds, holds a better association than kidnap victim. What do you reckon?’
‘That you have a dirty mind,’ I say.
‘Filthy,’ he agrees somewhere near my ear at a volume that only I can hear. ‘But you already knew that.’
My heart thunks in my chest. It makes me feel odd and extremely grateful that we can’t see each other. And that in another hour we won’t see each other again until … who knows. Back at work? Back at Mannerdale Hall?
I don’t say anything, but I relax back into the seat, grateful for the reassuring presence of his hand around mine.
A little while later, the Land Rover has clearly come off road and we’re bumping along a very uneven track. The engine whines and the gears crunch as they’re taken down.
‘Right, first stop. Everyone get out. If we touch you on the shoulder you’re to stay put. This is your team drop-off.’
We scramble awkwardly out. My legs are a little shaky and I can’t decide if I’m dreading or looking forward to the touch on the arm. Tansy has been strangely quiet throughout the journey but she’s probably as nervous as I am. I’m glad that I’ve been teamed up with someone I feel so comfortable with.
Five minutes later, we’re told to get back into the car. There’s a little more space now and I’ve no idea who I’m sitting next to but it’s not Tom. I don’t know how I know that, but I do. I seem to have some kind of ESP where he’s concerned. Maybe he was one of the ones we’ve just dropped off.
We make another drop and then the third drop is mine. I feel my rucksack dumped next to me. I put a hand on it to reassure myself.
‘Wait until you can’t hear the engine any longer and then take the blindfolds off,’ instructs Mark. ‘The clock starts ticking now. You’ve got an hour and a half before the hunters set off. They don’t have your precise location, just a radius of fifteen miles. Best of luck. You’re going to need it.’
The door slams and the Land Rover rumbles away. It’s a relief to be out in the fresh air, released from the tense atmosphere inside the four-wheel-drive.
The sound of the engine dies away and I rip off my blindfold, blinking into watery daylight. It’s a cloudy day with ominous black clouds gathering. I turn round to find that Tansy has grown half a foot and is now looking disturbingly masculine.
He takes off his blindfold and we stare at each other.
He has a filthy mind and I already know that is all that goes through my head.
