Morrigan stared back coldly, choosing to look like her true self instead of hiding behind her maiden aspect, her own hair streaked with white. “I do not need your apologies, nor do I want you to beg me to stay. You made a choice and I am honoring that choice. You should know by now I am not one who can simply ignore a slight made against me.”
He grabbed her arm in desperation, but the act only provoked her rage. She spun and kicked him, sending him sailing into his throne. She began to run but he hoisted himself to his feet, throwing his arms around her. Outside, clouds blackened the sun, the wind beginning to howl as a chorus of crows screeched their protestations. They dove into the chamber, but she held them back.
David grabbed her face, kissing her cheeks desperately. “Please forgive me, Morrigan. My wife. I have loved you for so very long, how could you doubt that I still do?”
“I do forgive you,” she growled, undeterred by his affections. “But you know better than to expect me to stay. If you love me as you say you do, then you will let me go. I have kept this from you, but there has been a voice calling to me that I have ignored. If you are allowed to find solace in others, then I should be allowed to find him.”
He released her, his heart shattered. “There it is. That is the reason you never felt like you were truly mine.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You will not blame me for your own transgressions,” she warned him. “I never once lay with another man whilst with you.”
“I know,” he said miserably. “I just cannot stand to think of life without you.”
“Then find me in another.” She turned on her heel and marched out of the throne room, her crows trailing behind her.
The memory faded as David stared into eyes that never changed. It unnerved him to revisit their most heartbreaking memory, reminding him of his agony when he found out she’d abandoned him on Earth to return to the Upperealms. How he abandoned the Tuatha de Danann, moving mountains so he could follow her.
“I did forgive you,” the present Morrigan pointed out, though she appeared equally grieved by the memory. “When you found me in the Upperrealms, I’d had time to contemplate, remembering our ancient past and how I was just as capable of betrayal myself. We both decided to move past it.”
“I know,” he said. “But still.”
“David,” she said suddenly. “There is more to the story than I ever told you… The woman you slept with bore you a son.”
“I know,” he told her, thinking of Gaia and Aengus. “I had a feeling you might have known.”
“Back then I was so swept up in furious jealousy, all I wanted to do was run. I thought you’d find out about the child and reunite on your own. You followed me to the Upperealms, but by then, I was so distracted by Lucius being free and rising to Earth with my sister—it was the farthest thing from my mind. I should have told you before you died.”
David studied her. “Did you kill him?”
“No,” she promised, her light eyes earnest. “As much as I hated that pathetic excuse for a goddess, I saw myself in her eyes. I didn’t want her to feel the pain of losing a child.”
David let out his breath. She still looked worried, and a small part of him still wanted to comfort her, though he knew it was no longer his place. “I’m glad I found out about him the way I did,” he told her honestly. “It’s not your fault we are constantly piecing together lost memories or that there is always some crisis to solve. We haven’t had much time to breathe, let alone revisit old wounds. I don’t hold it against you, Morrigan. I promise.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, her eyes glistening.
“Can I…”
She didn’t let him finish, moving forward so he could hold her one last time. He buried his face in her wet hair, reminded of the last time they were forced to violently part, when she drove a knife into his stomach. He closed his eyes, letting the rest of his senses appreciate her as he did back then. “My favorite memories will forever be the ones where we lived away from it all, just us, in an enchanted realm made of grassy knolls and silver moonlight,” he said softly. “But...it will never be just us, no matter how many ways we repeat this cycle. He is eternally my shadow.”
Morrigan pulled back, reaching up to touch his face. “I will always care for you, David, please know that,” she said with soft eyes. “Until the end of my days.”
He put his hand on hers, pressing it into his cheek. “I know you do, and I feel the same. And I do love you enough to let you go, to let you be happy with the one who you never stopped loving. The one who is supposed to have your heart.”
Tears streamed freely down her face. “Thank you,” she whispered.
He grabbed her hands in his, squeezing them as he leaned forward so their foreheads could rest against each other. They remained still for a moment, breathing each other’s air, listening to the song of each other’s blood running through their veins.
“Come,” he finally said as he pulled away. “Let us go save our shadow.”
She nodded, wiping her tears away with renewed determination. David turned to see Anubis and Libraean standing in the doorway.
“Is everything alright?” Anubis asked.
“Yes,” David nodded. “We need to open a portal.” He reached for Morrigan’s hand and together they walked back into the house.
cahira
She ignored the accumulating storm as she headed into the wild brush, stopping only to pull the knife from her boot to assist in cutting away a path. She heard a pack of hyenas cackling in the distance, the closest thing to the howling of wolves she could cling to as she marched farther and farther from civilization. The sweltering African jungle had its own beauty, but she missed the smell of evergreens, though she tried to appreciate the dense leaves and humming insects, the humid air, and the sensation that the majestic animals forged out of its red dust were near. She continued to chop until her arm got tired. She switched hands, alternating between arms as she hacked, chopped, and slashed her way forward. The sound was rhythmic and satisfying, distracting her from the hollow feeling that had settled in her bones.
She stopped once she heard rushing water, mystified to discover she’d found a waterfall. The pause in movement allowed the ache in her limbs to roar to life, and she tucked her knife back into her boot. She found a nearby rock to rest and watched the steady cascade of water splash into the tiny stream below, the wildlife around her humming and buzzing, unconcerned with the sweeping winds and electricity overhead.
She imagined a cave behind the waterfall and remembered herself as a child, healing from the wound in her side, wondering if the wolf she’d forced to be her companion was really going to come back for her or if she’d have to make the long journey alone. She pictured him climbing up the rocks to cheerfully reveal the rabbit he’d brought to feed her, remembering the overwhelming feeling of being loved. How the feeling frightened her, so she turned it off, although her physical self refused to leave his side. She recalled the emptiness that took her over when she was forced to. Even then, it was nothing compared to what she felt now.
Cahira wanted to cry but she was numb, feeling as though someone had cut open her chest, swirled their hands around her insides, and pulled out the tiny fragments of emotion she had left. Oh, how she wanted them back, cursing herself for abandoning them when he was still around. She should have appreciated them—appreciated each moment they spent together. How nothing was demanded of her, she simply was. And he loved her for it. She was a fool to think that being a supernatural being in a physical world made her impervious to death, that she would be spared from its sting. But the one whose life she had taken for granted was gone, and there was nothing that anyone could do. It was final, the door slammed shut, the Earth claiming her prize.
Cahira squeezed her eyes shut. She pretended he was sitting next to her, that they were back in their forest and she could feel his warmth again. She recalled the scent of pine and snow, the memory cutting through the scent of wild jungle and parched grass, crickets replacing tree frogs. “Please forgive me,” she whispered to no one as a tear finally made its way from the corner of her eye.
“There’s no need for that,” a voice replied.
Her eyes popped open and she scrambled to her feet, staring in disbelief at the apparition next to her. “How do I know you are real and not Discordia?” she immediately asked.
Dan’s visage gave her a sideways smile as he stared down at her with dark blue, adoring eyes. “Don’t worry, your mother killed me proper. It’s me.”
Cahira continued to stare as her eyes took in the rugged outline of his face, his long, matted silver hair, the matching crowns capping his teeth, and the tattoos etched across his body. He’d chosen to appear to her the way she remembered him.
“Are you a ghost then?” she whispered. She realized she was trembling.
“Something like that. My spirit lives in the Middleworld now.”
