“Why’d you bring me out here?”
“Will you let me talk?”
“And tell me what?” she snapped, putting distance between them. “What, Alex? It doesn’t take much talkin’ now that it’s all over.”
“Over?” Alex whispered, rubbing his hands across the small silky curls covering his head. “Is this what you want? You want things to stay this way between us?”
“No!”
“Then why do you keep sayin’ it?”
“Would you just get to the point?”
“Calvin Fines is dead,” he told her, tilting his head in anticipation of her response. “Do you remember the name?” he had to ask when she simply stared at him.
Topaz laughed as though the action were being forced from her. “It’s pretty hard to forget the name of the person who wants to have you killed, Alex.”
“You don’t have to worry about that ever again.”
The laughter stopped and Topaz shivered. Her palms turned clammy and she smoothed them across the seat of her jeans before easing them into her pockets. “He’s dead ... um, how ... did he ... ?”
“I was given the chance to handle it myself,” Alex said, knowing what she was asking. “To silence the threat on the life of the woman I love ...” he added, walking off to lean against the hood of the massive sport utility.
Topaz followed him with baby steps. “And ... what happened?”
“What do you think?”
She blinked, her spiky lashes leaving trace amounts of water against her cheeks. “I’d say no to what I’m thinking, at—at least I pray it’s no. Alex, you were so changed that night I saw you and—and I ... you were talking about going to the police.”
“Well, I decided against talking to the police,” he said, noticing her relief. “I didn’t kill Calvin, either,” he confessed into the night air, never looking back at her. “I couldn’t. But how I wanted to,” he shared, closing his eyes as if to savor the pleasure that would have resulted from the act. “The rage came over me like that,” he said with a snap of his fingers. “I was so mad that night, so mad I think I even scared myself. It was so bad, I finally helped myself to one of those damn pills,” he revealed, sending her a quick grin across his shoulder. “They knocked me flat out with help from a bottle of bourbon. I slept it off in a crappy hotel in the city. The side effects weren’t exaggerated a bit. I felt like warmed-over dog crap that day and I didn’t want to come back to you that way.”
Topaz was leaning next to Alex against the front of the truck. “So what does all this mean for us?”
Alex smiled and lowered his head. “You know, Beck said somethin’ tonight that had gone through my head before but ... I guess I never really thought about it. I been tryin’ so hard to make sure you were safe, that you wouldn’t be hurt, and truth is, I’ve been the one hurting you all along.”
“Alex, no,” Topaz whispered, her hand curving around a tassel from his hooded Winston Salem State sweatshirt.
“This is the truth, Topaz, and you know it. Hell, you been sayin’ it yourself. I guess it just never got through this rock head of mine till now.”
“And now?”
For a moment, Alex shielded his face in his hands. “Topaz, I won’t lie. The way I went off when the chance to snuff that nigga fell in my lap ... I wanted it. I could’ve done it without a second thought. Sometimes, I think that whole way of livin’ is just ready to be reclaimed and that I’m ready to reclaim it. I have to stop hiding from that fact and face it,” he said, smiling down at her when she turned her face into his arm. “The way I treated you in New York and when we came back here—it could happen again and you don’t deserve that.”
Topaz moved, reaching out to cup his face in her palms. “Why do you put yourself down that way? Before you even know what’ll happen?”
“Baby, I don’t have the luxury of waiting for the outcome.”
“And I don’t have the luxury of being able to just completely forget about someone I love.”
“Even if he’s a monster?”
“But he’s not a monster and I think you know that. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be fighting this thing. Fighting and winning.”
Alex’s blue-green stare searched Topaz’s sparkling amber one and he shook his head as if he was unable to believe how blessed he was to have her in his corner. “The last thing I need is a crutch. Especially a crutch as fine as you,” he teased, drawing her into a tight hug.
Topaz snuggled into the warm embrace, nuzzling her face into his chest. “I don’t think you need a crutch either. I believe you’re doing just fine on your own. I’d only like to be there. Just to be there.”
He kissed the tip of her nose and cheek. “I don’t want you to spoil me,” he whispered.
“Oh? Is that what you think I’m doing?” she taunted, favoring his jaw with an airy brush from her lips.
“Well, you cook like a master chef, my kind of music is your kind of music ...”
“I can fix your car free of charge ...”
Alex snapped his fingers as though he had forgotten. “What am I thinkin’? I can never let you go.”
Topaz laughed as Alex pulled her high against his chest. “The man is finally wising up,” she whispered against his ear.
Alex sobered, pressing his forehead to hers. “I love you so much. I don’t want to lose this—lose you. Especially when I pray more than anything that you’ll say you’ll marry me.”
Topaz looked up, her light eyes searching his for further confirmation that he was serious.
“Maybe this’ll help you decide,” he said, while reaching into his pocket. He extracted the pear-shaped diamond and slipped it onto her finger. “Take as much time as you need,” he urged, pressing a soft kiss to the back of her hand. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
Topaz stood on her toes and hugged him. Alex closed his eyes, then opened them when the wind danced more frantically around their bodies. He watched the sand swirl in the moonlight, its circular motions resembling a mini tornado. In that moment, he felt as though more ghosts were being swept away from his heart and mind. Swept away to make room for the woman in his arms.
Dear Readers,
