“You’d be out of a job if she didn’t,” I said sarcastically. “What’s your point, Madeem?”
“Beyond everythin’ she believed in, she created the one thing she hated. She put aside her wants to do what was necessary.”
“Madeem, are you telling me to give up on Jezz?” I asked him in a serious tone.
He could tell from my glare that I didn’t approve of his suggestion, but he shrugged anyway and said, “The ansa is in front of you, hero. It up to you whether to take it or not.”
“Look, I get it. The world is falling apart. The world is coming to shit! But do you honestly think for a second that this is a one man solution?!”
“Mama Kar picked you, ain’t she?”
“To hell with that logic!” I fired, taking one step closer to him. “She planned on summoning an army! If it wasn’t for Lucyna, I wouldn’t have been the only hero here right now! Not to mention it took me and Jezz to find the first shard! It was a group effort! What the hell do you think I could do by myself in a fucking nation of fae, goblins, and dragons?! The way I see it, we are all doomed. So the best I could do is spend my last days with her. I’m still taking care of Prism Point, busting my ass back and forth here! So how about you cut me some slack and let me find Jezz! If you don’t support that then keep your comments to yourself and let me be!”
Madeem got off of his seat, those sorry eyes of his opening up the dam to all of my pent up emotions.
“It is okay, Silas…”
“What?”
“It’s okay…”
“Don’t…” I said with a heavy breath, ripples burning in my chest.
“Ya need to let yourself mourn. It’s not a sign of weakness, but one of healin’.”
He triggered me, and I stormed out of his workshop furious.
I stopped down the block, where the streets were always crowded. I had to hide my emotions and keep myself in check, the image of Senterrian’s lone hero something I needed to control every passing second of my day. There was no showing these people a lick of defeat, even though I’d been wearing it like a second skin since that big boss fight. My heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice, and I was watching her go over and over again. I needed to get away, far away from here, far away from the faces that told another story of Jezz’s fate.
I didn’t want to lash out at Madeem. It wasn’t his fault. He didn’t know any better. He was like the rest of them, believing that she was gone for good. Well unless I saw a fucking body, Jezz was alive.
No one could tell me differently. In my head, I had to keep reminding myself that she was still out there, waiting on me. I couldn’t give up on her, I refuse…
With a grunt, I shook away all of that pent up anxiety and scratched the back of my head, my eyes searching for an escape. I needed a drink, something to numb the pain. The smell of stale beer and cigarette fumes clung in the air, but I wasn’t in the mood to head down to Regeni’s Bar. That bartender was a mean drunk, unfiltered, too. She loved to drink with her customers and dish out terrible advice, no matter how blunt or how unhinged they were.
So I went to Elliot’s Butcher Shop instead, and decided to visit a woman who was more on the sweet and sugary side. But like the last few days, I walked into an empty shop, the chairs along the guest tables not even put down yet. Usually the smell of meat invited me in, though lately, Elle hadn’t been able to stock up. We were on the verge of famine, and it was getting harder and harder to meet the demands of my hungry people.
I walked through the saloon-styled doors and saw the bubbly butcher in an uncommonly clean white apron, swinging her hips back and forth as she rushed up to me with open arms.
“Silas, what a surprise!” she tweeted, tossing me a warm hug. Butch greeted me too, buzzing in circles around my head. “I wasn’t expecting you back til mid afternoon!”
“Hey Elle,” I said with a smile. “It’s good to see that you’re doing better.”
“Now that you’re here,” she playfully flirted. “My, my, you just get more and more handsome with every passing minute!”
“Are you sure it’s not the hardware making you all googly-eyed?” I teased as she brushed fish scales off of my shoulder.
“Another tough fight, huh? You’ve been getting yourself into a bit of trouble more often these days.”
“It’s all part of being an overseer.”
“No argument there. Want some caramel cream foduon?” She asked me as she walked back to the counter. “I wish I could offer you a meal, but, you know the deal these days.”
“It’s fine. I’ll take anything you have to offer.” I joined her back on the bar stool as she opened the fridge behind her and took a fresh glass bottle of spiced cream with two short drinking glasses. She poured me my drink before she topped hers. We toasted, clinking our glasses together. As we sipped on our drinks, I couldn't help but notice the way her lips curled around the rim of her glass. It was a small gesture, but it was enough to make me ask her, “What is it?”
“Oh nothin’, darlin.”
“It’s something.”
“Just trying to decipher those sad eyes.” She chuckled. “You miss her a lot, don’t ya?”
“Like the flowers miss the sun at the dead of winter fall.”
She giggled. “I see Mulani has been reading some of that poetry to ya.”
I chuckled. “She’s actually an amazing writer.”
“You know you got people talkin’. The Point is losing faith, saying you’d lost your compass, your way. Now, don’t get me wrong, the majority are thankful, but they are losing hope, Silas. Before there was a future for us. We had something to hold onto. But now…well, things ain’t looking too good.” She leaned in, continuing to confide in me. “Now I know you’re hurtin’. I am too. Trust me I know she is out there. That girl is a fighter. She ain’t never stop fightin’! If there’s a way, Jezz will always steamroll through it! That I believe in with all my heart. But things are getting mighty bad out there. The end of the world type bad. Abnormal drought, malady hitting livestock, spontaneous earthquakes. These are the reports feeding through our underground home from the outside.”
“My scouts shouldn’t have opened their mouths and said anything,” I said coldly. “We already have a morale issue. Saying shit like that would only make things worse.”
“But Silas, they have the right to know.”
“Knowing isn’t going to make things better. They already have enough to worry about as it is.”
“That being said, you took on a responsibility by taking on her title. Overseer, it comes with a lot of weight, and a lot of responsibility. You have a duty to these people, just like Jezz did.”
“I hear you, Elle, but Jezz—”
