“Of course.”
“You swear?”
“You have my word.”
She looked down at her glass again, her finger playing with the ridges of it as she mused. “I was to wed Baron Callian a few days ago. It was an arranged marriage, as all royal marriages are. I was to join the House of Velarde after our honeymoon. But my heart didn’t belong to Callian. It belonged to a soldier in Hox Branch, Sir Redfuer.” Gavori’s eyes went glassy, her voice falling into a subtle tremor.
“I understand, Lady Gavori. Love can make us do all sorts of things. But running away with him, that's a big decision. Have you thought about the consequences?”
She nodded. “I know, but I can't help the way I feel. I don't want to live a life with someone I don't love. I'd rather take my chances with Redfuer, even if it means leaving everything behind.” She paused. “Alphy, I’m not sure if you’ve ever experienced true love before, but there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for that man. We'd met years ago, in the oddest circumstances. I thought it was kind of adorable, chasing a little boy down the villa for pick-pocketing me. He thought I was too classy to dash after him, and that a few sammies was nothing someone like me would sweat about. But I showed him that I wasn't to be messed with. I tackled him down and gave him a gut punch he’d never forget. He looked so sorry on the ground curled up in a fetal position, I started to feel bad for him. This dirty low-class fae with beautiful soulful eyes… I knew then he took my heart, but as a baron’s daughter, being with someone like Redfuer was forbidden.”
I listened intently as Gavori's voice wavered with emotion. I could see the pain and longing etched on her face, and the weight of her words hung heavy in her heart. I took a sip of my drink, trying to think of something to say that would provide comfort but found myself coming up short. What could I possibly say to someone who had been forced into an arranged marriage, who had been denied the chance to follow her true love?
“My mother scolded me for even talking to him, and my sisters made fun of me, calling me a hopeless romantic, a slums chaser, a peasant girl wannabe. You know how siblings are. I couldn’t get him out of my mind though, and I’d find every excuse in the book to visit the villa to see him again, and I would. I learned that his mother became the breadwinner once his father died at war. He told me about his dreams about joining the military and following his footsteps, but mainly to get back at the dragons who claimed his father’s life. It was a hassle trying to get to know him more in the streets, having to tuck away from family so they wouldn’t see me talking to a peasant. But we made do with what we had, until his mother taught him a few slippery spells so we could hang out more together.
It was so hard on our relationship, yet, we made it work. Love prevailed, and the day he went off to the academy was the worst day of my life. I knew the day would come, but…it was so soon. And then to have those dragons take him away from me…”
“He passed?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said solemnly, then chugged down the rest of her drink. After she slammed the glass on the coffee table I could tell that Gavori was visibly stressing out. “On the night we were to elope, he and I were captured by dragons. Right here outside our own home! We were separated, and then all of a sudden this crazy human posing as an orc was weaving promises of salvation from Dradersi, trying to unite the nations to support his insane crusade of getting all three dungeon core shards so he could repair her.”
I pulled back my collar skittishly.
“Insane, right?” She chuckled helplessly. “I mean one crazy thing after another. And now this, it’s just… too much,” she said with her hands out expressively. “I feel like my head is going to explode. There’s so much going on that I can’t keep track. Like I’m trying to divide my emotions in so many ways; it’s, it’s not healthy.”
“This first step to healing is to let yourself feel everything,” I said warmly. “Don’t push it all down, don’t try to make sense of it all right now. Just feel it. Let yourself grieve, let yourself be angry, let yourself be confused. It’s okay.”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Okay,” she whispered.
“Only then would we allow ourselves to fully process our emotions.”
“I don’t even know where to begin,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Just start with what you’re feeling right now. What’s the strongest emotion that’s coming up for you?”
She took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling with effort. “Anger,” she said finally. “I’m so fucking angry. At the world, at myself… at everything.”
I nodded, understanding all too well the feeling of anger that comes with loss. “That’s okay,” I said. “Let yourself feel it.”
“I’m frustrated and pissed off from being at the losing end for years now, and things are only getting worse. I’m angry that sickness took my brother, and the dragons kidnapped my love. I’m sure they had plans to torture him in front of me, but Silas rescued me before the dragons shipped us off to who knows where.” She lifted her eyes to me and sharpened her curious stare. “You know, you kind of look like Silas.”
“Who, me?”
She smiled. “Yeah. I swear the guy is way over his head, but he means well. He’s the crazy human I talked about. He rescued me and a few others from Lucyna’s dragon lair. If it wasn’t for him, I don’t know where I’d be right now. But I gave him a picture of my beloved, in hopes of him finding him somewhere, alive or dead…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t have much faith in him finding him, because if I did, I’d have given him a way to contact me.”
“Well, how about you give me a way to contact you?” I asked, feeling like I was imposing. “That is of course, if you’d like to talk further?”
“Oh, I don’t have my own Loquirra-Emparra Talisman.”
A loqui what now?
“Only the men in the family have that luxury. It’s an item shared among the royal family. You cup it and think of who you want to contact, and as long as they have one of their own, you may reach them.”
“Heh,” I scratched behind my ear, having no clue what the heck she was talking about! But as a fae, I was supposed to know, right? So I bluffed my way further into the conversation, asking, “Do you think by any chance you could borrow one from one of your brothers?”
She gave me a mischievous grin. “I can take Elock’s, he never uses it. I’m sure he wouldn’t even notice it missing. As for Nicott’s,” she said, pulling the item out of her inventory. “I kept it ever since he died. No one seemed to ask about it, so I thought once enough time had passed, I could keep it for myself. But I want you to have it.” She got off her seat, prompting me to do the same. Gavori walked over to me and took me by my hand, letting the stone hanging from a silver link fall into my palm. “Talking to you has made me feel a little better. Until now, I hadn’t told anyone, not even my closest sister Nathly, about the night I was rescued.” She looked deeply into my eyes and smiled. “Maybe it’s easier to talk to someone I don’t know because I’m scared of being judged. You’re an outlet I want to keep, Alphy.”
Shit, she really had me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. I wasn’t even a real grief counselor, but for that second, she had me thinking I was.
“Lady Gavori!” Rufian chimed, walking into the room a bit late. He bowed respectfully and apologized, “I am sorry to cut our meeting short, but there seems to be a schedule mishap. We overbooked a block! Heh! Can never trust these interns to do their jobs right.”
“It’s all right,” Gavori said. “Alphy here and I had a decent amount of time to chat.”
“Really?”
“He’s helped me figure out how to sort all my ducks.”
“What's wrong, Rigs? Why do you sound so surprised?” I teased.
“Oh no, not at all! I am happy the both of you had a chance to begin the healing process.”
“Oh yea, Alphy was great. For ten years, I expected him to be phenomenal.”
“Phenomenal you say?”
Okay, now he was just pushing it.
I smiled. “Please do keep in touch, Lady Gavori. I will be expecting your call.” She leaned in and gave me a tight hug, thanking me for my services.
