But I want to sleep with him.
I don’t even know if he has a functional dick or not.
But I want to see it.
The next time I go there. I’m going to see it.
Oh boy.
I rub my face with my hand. I’m sweaty and hot now because the silk has turned into saran wrap. I pick up my printed work assignment on the table and fan my face with it. “I’m sorry. I was on drugs.”
Kate crosses her arms, her legs wide apart, her expression furious. Her dark hair is tied up into a ponytail, shiny and thick. Her olive skin is splashed with freckles.
“You’re so pretty . . .” I murmur. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time. I always knew she was beautiful, but usually, when I look at the world, everything is dim. Today, it all seems exceptionally bright.
She points a finger in my face. “Don’t try to butter me up. And don’t lie to me either. You don’t do drugs. I should know. You turn me down every time I offer.”
I stomp away and plop down on the couch, rolling up the bat sleeves of my robe. “Fine . . . fine. Sit down. I’ll tell you the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”
I don’t really want to spill my guts to Kate. But on the other hand . . . I really want to spill my guts to Kate. There’s no one else in this world who would believe me. Or who I could trust. Or who would understand. But I know Kate will.
“So, you know how one of your boyfriends is a ghost?”
She gives a concerned look and fixes her ponytail but nods. “He’s a shadow, but sure.”
“And . . . you know how Mack is a fish?”
“Of course.”
“And remember when you gave me the address to Mack’s building.”
Her eyes shutter closed, and she pinches her nose. “Yes . . .”
“And I went to see him . . .”
“Yes, and then you told me he didn’t want to see you again.”
I fidget with the silky hem of my robe. “Well, I went back to his house. A few times, actually.”
“Jules! You can’t keep going to strange men’s houses without telling me! It’s like girl code one-oh-one to always share your location. He could murder you!”
I collect my words before I say them because I know how insane I sound. “He’s not a strange man. Or at least . . . he’s not a man. Per se.”
She leans in. “Yes, I’m aware.”
I wince a little while saying the next words. “It turns out . . . that . . . I . . . may have . . .”
“If you’re even going to say what I think you’re going to say . . .” She shakes her head.
But I must.
“Ikissedthefishmonster!” I shout all at once.
It takes her a few seconds, and then she slaps the pillow next to her. “What the holy fuck?”
“I know! I know!”
She picks up the pillow and launches it at my head.
“Hey!” I fend it off with my hands. The pillow bounces off me and hits the ground.
Then she picks up another one, throwing that one at me too. “You’re fucking a fish monster, and you didn’t even tell me? What do I look like to you? A clown? A joke?”
“I didn’t fuck him! I swear to god, I didn’t fuck him. I said kiss! Just a kiss.”
She pulls out her phone again, pointing to it menacingly. “Then what are all these messages about? Hmmm?”
I stand and put my arms on her shoulders. She’s gotten to her feet, so I push her back down to the couch. “God. It’s embarrassing. It’s embarrassing on every level. I didn’t fuck him. I just . . . want to fuck him.”
“Wow. Wow. I thought you were just asexual—”
“Pretty sure I’m demisexual.”
“Right, and you’re fishmonstersexual.”
“Don’t call him that. I know I called him that, but nobody should call him a monster. He’s not even close to a monster. He’s . . . kind. Really kind.”
Kate leans back into the couch. “You like this guy.”
