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“It’s not that I look the way I do now. If I’m honest with you, the way I look feels more like the way I am on the inside than I ever looked before. But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is that I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss having people over. I miss dinners. I miss parties. I miss live music. I used to love live music. I played guitar.”

“Really? You’re a musician? I had no idea. Where’s your guitar? Maybe you can play for me sometime.”

He chuckles. “C’mon, Jules. You’ve seen my apartment. There’s nothing in there.”

“But why not? It’s not like you don’t have the money. Or so I’m just learning.”

“Once I became isolated enough, I threw everything away. Felt like I couldn’t hold onto anything from my past life. Especially if no one I loved was going to be in it.”

“They should be there for you.”

Another pregnant pause. I can feel my throat tightening up. I’m angry. I’m angry for Mack. I’m angry that his family abandoned him almost completely. Money doesn’t make up for love.

“Yeah, but life isn’t perfect or easy like that. They’re doing their best, and I don’t claim to have handled this well either.”

“But it’s their job.”

“I know. I know how bad it is. Believe me, I think about it every day.”

I fidget as I sit on the phone with him, my fingers absently typing away at my keys, opening up the aquarium forums.

Mack is one of my very few friends in the world. But I didn’t think I’d be one of his very few friends as well.

Then, an idea trickles into my mind. A crazy idea. A potentially dangerous idea.

But also, maybe a fun one.

“Mack. I have a very serious question to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“How do you feel about drag?”

“Drag, like gender-bending, costumes, dress up, singing, that kind of thing?”

“Yeah, alcohol too.”

“I guess I feel fine about drag.”

“Then I have a proposition for you.”

***

When I get off the phone with Mack, I stare at my computer screen. I’ve convinced him to go to the drag brunch because I’ve specified it’s a costume party. Not a Halloween costume party. Not a spooky ghouls and demons type thing. Just a fun, good old dress-up party.

The perfect cover for him to go out in public again. The perfect cover for him to spend time with friends. See a live performance. Get out in the light of day. The very things he says he misses the most.

A part of me was shocked he agreed. But another part of me knows how much he needs this.

We all need to connect with humanity sometimes. Even me. A shut-in.

Speaking of connecting, I text Kate back and give her the 411.

Kate: Mack?! You’re bringing Mack?

Jules: Do you think it’s a terrible idea?

Kate: No, I think it’s a great idea! In fact, it’s the perfect crime. There are crazy good makeup artists at this drag event. Like some of the best in the country. People will be asking him for a business card.

Jules: I hope you’re right.

Kate: I know I am. In fact, I’m so right, I’m going to bring The Shadow as well.

Jules: Ghost boyfriend?

Kate: He’s a shadow, but yeah. We’ll just pretend he’s in a costume too! How fun! This is really going to be a party. You’re even coming out. And you’re dating a guy? Are you kidding me?

Jules: We’re not dating, don’t be crazy.

Kate: Whatever. Don’t care. Say what you will. Happy thirtieth to me!

I breathe a sigh of relief at what I’ve organized. I’m extremely proud of myself. I know I owe Kate a better friendship. So now, I’m actually going to show up for her. The way a real friend should.

And I know Mack needs this too.

But even through this immense web of excitement, I’m still sitting in front of my computer screen, hours later, with the aquarium forum up on my screen when a notification pops up in front of me.

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