I need them now but they’re not there . . .
That song was pretty cool, but after Andrea stole my underwear and put it up on the flagpole, I wasn’t really in the mood to sing that song.
After that, we all had to sing “This Land Is Your Land,” “Ain’t No Flies on Us,” “I Like Bananas,” “Do Your Ears Hang Low,” “Home on the Range,” “Little Bunny Foo Foo,” “On Top of Spaghetti,” “B-I-N-G-O,” “I’m Being Swallowed by a Boa Constrictor,” “The Ants Go Marching,” “If You’re Happy and You Know It,” “The Wheels on the Bus,” and a million hundred other boring songs.
When the fire died down and all the marshmallows were gone, the counselors said we could go out in the field and look at the stars before going back to our bunks. We got down on the grass and looked up at the sky.
“WOW,” I said, which is “MOM” upside down. I had never seen so many stars at once.
“This is awesome,” Ryan said. “There are probably a billion of them up there.”
“A bazillion,” I said. “Maybe we’ll see a shooting star.”
“Where do you think it ends?” asked Neil.
“Where does what end?” asked Michael.
“The universe,” Neil replied. “It seems like it must go on forever.”
“But it has to end somewhere,” said Ryan.
Candyman had been pretty quiet as we gazed up at the sky.
“The sun is just another star,” he told us. “In five billion years, it will run out of hydrogen and become a red giant hot enough to boil the oceans. The gravitational forces will pull all the gases to the center, and the sun will engulf Mercury, Venus, and Earth.”
It was quiet for a minute or two.
“Wait,” I said. “What?”
“The sun is gonna fade out in a giant spinning cloud of gas and dust,” said Candyman. “Then the universe will collapse into itself and the planet we call Earth will disintegrate.”
It was quiet for a minute or two. And then . . .
Everybody jumped up and started running around, yelling and screaming and hooting and hollering and freaking out.
“Help!” shouted Michael. “The sun is going to explode!”
“Run for your lives!” shouted Neil.
“The world is gonna end!” Ryan shouted.
“WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” I shouted.
In the morning, we had to pack up our stuff and get ready to go home. After breakfast, a convoy of minivans started rolling into the parking lot. Parents were arriving to pick up their kids.
Everybody was crying and hugging each other. I didn’t want anybody to see me cry, but everybody else was crying so I guess it was okay for me to cry too. I hugged Aunt Kim, Uncle Ray, Aunt Nancy, Uncle Howie, and everybody else. I even hugged Candyman when he left.
Most of the kids were gone by the time my mom and dad finally showed up. When they got out of the car, I ran over and gave them a big hug.
“We’re sorry,” my dad said. “We just got your letter. We didn’t know you were having such a terrible time.”
“Your father and I had such fond memories of summer camp,” my mom said. “We thought it would be the same for you.”
They put my duffel bag into the trunk, and I climbed into the back seat.
“Say goodbye,” my dad said as we pulled out of the parking lot. “I guess you’ll never see this place again.”
I thought about everything that happened in the last week. I almost drowned. I had to kiss a dead moose. I had to slow dance with Andrea. I had a million hundred mosquito bites. I drank a glass full of ketchup, mustard, and other gross stuff. I got poison ivy. A skunk ran in our bunk. We lost the bed race.
“Uh . . . ” I said.
“Did you forget something, A.J.?” asked my mom.
“No,” I replied, wiping the tears from my eyes. “Can I go back next summer?”
Well, that’s pretty much what happened at Camp Ahdoanwanna. Maybe my parents will let me come back next summer. Maybe smooching will be made illegal. Maybe they’ll put toilets into cars. Maybe Candyman will tunnel out of camp with a spoon. Maybe a ghost will eat all the left-handed kids. Maybe I’ll get to play laser tag and pickleball. Maybe penguins will slow dance. Maybe everybody will stop talking about cake. Maybe we’ll find a way to stop the universe from collapsing.
But it won’t be easy!
Weird Extras!
★ Summer Camp Facts
