There are still things he hasn’t made me do and one line I never want to cross. I will never, ever kill someone. Several of the nobles regularly visit to have fun with the prince , but the king and queen don’t travel much. I’ve met one of the princesses and wished I hadn’t. The queen isn’t coming on this trip, and I’m thankful for that, with the rumours I’ve heard. Kyrell lowers his voice. “I heard the king’s coming to visit to see the renovations to the city he’s made. Noble Lewin whispered it to me last night.”
At least one of us gets to fall in love and spend their nights in the arms of someone they choose. Kyrell met a high up noble called Lewin at one of the balls, and he has been regularly visiting him for two years now. Kyrell told me he loves him, and I can’t imagine how it’s possible to ever love a vampyre. It’s the only thing we don’t agree on.
The prince never tells me about things that happen outside the castle, and I don’t dare ask. Today I have a task from the prince that doesn’t involve being trapped in these few rooms for his enjoyment. I have to keep the king’s favourite busy and amused. I get to meet someone new. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, because once, that would have been exciting, but now I feel nothing. “Interesting. Do you know what renovations are going on in the city?”
He shakes his head. “I’m going to ask around though.” He stops whispering. “Are you looking forward to meeting the king’s favourite? You two will have things in common.”
“I have to amuse her and show her around,” I mutter. “How exactly do I do that? There’s nothing in this castle to keep anybody amused.”
He laughs. “I’m sure she’s nice and you’ll figure it out. Surprisingly to you, most people like you when they meet you, little Tory. You’re nice, you know.”
“Am I?” I frown.
He never says anything but the truth. “Yes, when you’re not struggling to find a reason to live. You’re fighting and I’m proud of you. You’re still here and that is amazing.” I wince. Struggling is a light word for the many attempts that I’ve made to leave this place, this world. The times where the darkness truly crept up on me and made it feel like I was drowning in the thin air. Like the walls were caving in and there was nothing left for me in this world, no light and nothing worth it. He is proud of me. For what, not jumping from the window and dying?
The prince comes into the room many moments later, kissing me deeply and possessively, but I feel nothing but the cold of his touch. He is excited, practically shaking with it. “My father’s just arrived. I will send his favourite up here to you. Her name is Avaluna.” He kisses my cheek. “Be nice and I will reward you.”
I shiver as he walks off, Kyrell leaving the doors open as he follows him out, and I nervously wait. It feels like hours later before a fae woman walks in. She has long black hair, and she is absolutely beautiful—stunning even. She’s shorter than me and she instantly reminds me of the pixies from the tales that my mum used to tell me sometimes. Tiny, pretty little creatures that lived in the trees of the forest and caused mayhem when they got bored. She’s slender but curvy in her red dress, and there’s a spark in her blue eyes. She immediately lowers her head, her silky hair falling over her slender shoulders. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, favourite Story Dehana.”
I bow my head back to her. “Same. I’m afraid I’m not sure exactly what we should do today. I was told to keep you amused in the castle, but unless you like grey stone walls and paintings of castles that are on the walls of the castle, there really isn’t much here.”
She laughs and smiles so big her cheeks crease with the movement. “Your company would be more than I need. Perhaps gardens?” She walks to my window, looking over the thick forest that spreads to the city in the distance. “I like visiting all of the gardens of the places we travel. It’s strange to me how certain flowers, trees and plants grow so differently in the cities, but they share the same name. Are there any here?”
I think of the garden where I met Emyr. “Yes, but there’s a bit of a peculiar way to get into it.”
Her eyes flash with interest. “How?”
I find myself smiling at this stranger, liking her already. Maybe because she is someone new, maybe because her life mirrors mine. I walk her downstairs, through the kitchen, and people move aside, many of them bowing their heads. I quickly learn the fae workers do not talk to the blood slaves here, and no matter how many times I’ve tried to speak to them, they never say a word. If I didn’t have Kyrell, I would talk to no one but the prince. Fear flashes in their eyes enough that I stopped trying to ask them questions, begging them to say a word.
I lead her into the small room at the back of the kitchen, flashes of memories of Emyr ripping across my mind. Opening the window, I step out onto the ledge. The wind is warm as it blows my cloak around my legs, and Avaluna looks at me in horror. “I didn’t come here to jump out of a window with you, crazy woman.”
“I’m not asking you to jump out a window with me. Come on, I’ll show you the gardens.” I might be mad for this, knowing if she falls that I might as well jump with her. She nervously looks at me, but she takes my hand and climbs out of the window with me. We walk round the edge, and I jump down into the garden. It’s as beautiful as the first time I came here, and I haven’t come back since. I should have done. She follows right after me, her big eyes widening as she takes in the garden. “Wow, this place is beautiful. You were right, Story. How many other secrets do you have?”
“None. I’m trapped here.” My answer echoes between us, my voice hollow.
She sighs. “You’ve given up, haven’t you? I’ve met so many blood slaves that share that look in your eyes, the numbness, the feeling that life isn’t worth fighting for. Isn’t there some part of this life you like?” Maybe she is insane. “I mean, trust me, being trapped in the protection of the royals is better than out there. Where I came from…this life is better.”
She isn’t convincing me. “Where exactly is that?”
“The Valin lands of the south,” she tells me. “It’s where I get this beautiful tan from. The king spends most of his time there, but I go with him on all of his travels. He doesn’t like me out of his sight.”
The sunlight shines into her hair, and it flashes red, shimmering against the black. “It’s bad there. I mean, we have districts with breeding, workers, and the blood slaves like here, but it’s worse. So much worse. Being fae…it’s a curse there.”
I clear my throat. Being a fae is a curse for anyone born this way in this world. “What’s wrong with you that you came to be a blood slave?”
She blinks at my blunt question, and for a moment I remember that was rude. “Nothing. I was born into the workers, but my parents died when I was really young. I was taken to the orphanages of the workers and…” She pauses. “When I was ten, the king came. I don’t know why he came, what he was looking for exactly, but he took one look at me, clicked his fingers, and I was taken to the palace. He saved me, treated me well, and I will be forever thankful. I didn’t see him again till I was fifteen, and then he made it very clear that I was his favourite, and that was the end of that. He used to have several favourites, but he has never taken another after me. We get along so well; I might even call it love.”
Saved her? Love? How bad could it have been for her to truly believe he saved her for this life? I can’t get the words out of my mouth for a second. “How old are you now?”
“Twenty. Now tell me your life tale so we might be even and call each other friends,” she asks. I tell her my story, how similar to mine hers is, but a bit different. “Is your mother still alive?”
“My mother still lives, but I’ve not been able to speak to her since I was fourteen.” Immediately I regret the words out of my mouth. This isn’t a friend of mine, this isn’t Kyrell. She could tell the prince and all the years I’ve spent protecting her would be for nothing. The last letter I had, I still see those words written across the paper again and again, wishing that I could know more of them. Wishing I could read them one more time, and now I might have just killed her.
“You are brave, Story Dehana, and I will keep your secret. I have a secret for you in return to show we are friends. I have a sister and I make sure the king never sees her in the castle,” she whispers and my heart pounds. I don’t have a choice but to trust her. “I don’t know if we will ever see each other again, but I am glad to have met you. I’m sure when I get older, my king will get bored with me and find someone else. The favourite before me, she only lived till she was twenty-eight, according to some of the workers in the castles. I won’t live that long if the queen ever gets that annoyed with me. I’ve made a plan so my sister will be safe, and that’s all that matters in the end. Keeping our family safe.” I smile tightly at her even as she casually talks about dying. It wouldn’t just be death; it would be brutally murdered by a vampyre king. Killed by the man she claims loves her.
I touch the bark of the tree nearest me. “At least the prince doesn’t have a fiancée or princess to get jealous of me.”
“He’s had many options, you know,” she tells me. Something I didn’t know. “I mean, I’ve seen them, but he rejects every single one. He has no interest in any of them. Much to his father’s annoyance.”
We both stop by a bunch of yellow flowers. The petals are square, and in the centre of each flower is a green diamond-shaped dot. “I’m surprised by that. The way he speaks of his father, I thought he would do anything he asked.”
She laughs. “He usually does. He is the heir, the only male heir that matters to the king, and he wants him to finally settle down, to have many children, to find a female vampyre worthy.”
I watch her, how happy she seems to be. “Are you really happy with your life? Is this all you want?”
She turns on me, touching her arm, which is covered in bite marks. They litter her skin, from her neck down, so many visible compared to me. “You’ve never left this city, Story. Dying as a blood slave to the king is an honour and a good life compared to the majority of the fae. Working until your bones all break or your heart gives in, or being on your back in the breeding communities until childbirth eventually takes you…how is that better?” She shakes her head at me. “I love the king, and he is kind to me when he can be.”
Love? That’s an odd word for her to say when she is speaking about the vampyre who bites, feeds, and uses her until someone new catches his attention. I know I haven’t seen the world and how bad it might be out there, but this isn’t a life to be honoured and wanted. I show her the rest of the gardens before we sit down in the grass, looking at the sparkling sun above. I keep my voice quiet so nobody can hear us. “Do you know why the king is here?”
“He never talks about this city, and he talks a lot, all the time, but never really mentions what he’s here for,” she admits, biting on her lip. “But one evening, the queen came to his rooms. I hid with the workers, like I always do when she is near, and I overheard them argue about this city. I only heard that there’s something here, particularly in this land, that they’re looking for. A weapon. She said it would change everything and it wasn’t worth the risk. The king disagreed and told her to get out.”
“What weapon? Did they say what it was?” I question.
She shakes her head. “No, he had other fae in his room, and he killed them all for overhearing. He only kept me alive and told me to forget what I heard.”
But she didn’t, and she told me. The prince kills his blood slaves regularly in front of me, too. It’s not something that’s new, but every single time, I wish I could save them—I never can. He only keeps me alive, too. “Why would they need a weapon? There’s nothing in this world that could stop them.”
She looks me dead in the eye, and for a moment, she looks defiant. “Isn’t that the perfect question? Keep asking, keep questioning. For us, it is the only way we can help our people. It will help you too. It might make you want to live.”
