When the agreed-upon time came for her to meet the Kruegers, Charlotte just couldn’t do it. She saw them across the quad and turned the opposite direction. His affection for her made no sense, a rose extended to a wood chipper. Maybe Reece couldn’t see it, but his family would. She was the last girl who a mother would choose for her son.
Reece broke the silence. “That must have been a lot to process.”
“I didn’t trust myself for a long time after that,” Charlotte confessed.
There was a sheen of understanding in Reece’s gaze. He connected the dots without her needing to explain.
Let’s go back in time, Charlie.
“I’m proud of you for leaving him,” Reece said. “I hope that’s not weird for me to say.”
Shame crawled up her esophagus like acid reflux. “Thank you,” Charlotte said, wishing she were an easier person to love.
Reece was quiet as he considered the implications of what she had shared. Misty sniffed the air and sprang out of her lap to disappear into the grass, on the hunt for some unlucky animal. Charlotte felt strangely bereft without her.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t more supportive,” Reece said at last. “I had no idea what you were going through.”
Charlotte waved off his apology. “How could you? I didn’t know.”
“But I never asked. I was too busy dealing with my own shit to help.”
“Oh stop,” Charlotte huffed. “You were so kind to me, Reece. And I kept thinking, What’s the catch? When is he going to tear off his face and reveal that he’s a psycho too?”
“I probably freaked you out when I got attached.” He kept his voice level, but she could still hear the embarrassment lurking in his words.
“You did, a little,” Charlotte said. “But that wasn’t your fault. You were just trying to get to know me, and my dumb trauma brain saw that as a threat.” She laughed at herself. “Which is ridiculous because you are literally the nicest person I have ever met.”
“Aww, stop.” Reece flashed her that big smile she loved. This time when he extended his hand to her, she took it. His fingers were sticky with sweat and fresh sunblock, but so were hers. They were equally messy.
Charlotte found herself speaking before she’d fully processed the words. Another confession tumbling out of her mouth after the others. “I like talking to you.”
Reece smiled again. A private one this time, like he’d figured out a puzzle. “You said that last night.”
She rolled her eyes, flustered. “It’s still true.”
They fell quiet again, processing. Reece pressed a kiss to her wrist, and then to her palm. She finally reached out to smooth his hair back into place, a few droplets of pond water trickling down the side of his nose.
He found his words again before she did. She realized he’d been avoiding her eyes as he gathered his thoughts. “I always thought you…” Hurt made his voice choppy and he trailed off. Charlotte combed his hair with her fingers until he continued. “I heard the rumor that he broke up with you, and I thought you wanted him back. And that I wasn’t good enough.” He forced a self-deprecating smile. “There’s no building on campus with my name on it.”
Rosewood affection and reseda guilt bloomed in her chest. Charlotte cupped his chin in her hand, forcing him to look her in the eyes. “I’m so mad at myself for making you feel that way for a second, Reece.” He gave her a thin smile. She gave his chin a gentle shake. “No, I’m serious. You were never the problem, ever. I just wasn’t ready for you then.”
They both heard it at the same time. Reece blinked but didn’t say anything as Charlotte realized what she’d let slip.
Then implied a now.
Charlotte hit her vulnerability limit. Self-consciousness crawled across her skin like a cold sweat. She let go of Reece’s face, her hands dropping to her lap.
He recognized the wall going up and didn’t try to stop it. Maybe it was too much for him too, their hearts exposed to the elements after all this time apart. They had barely twenty-four hours left together, and where could this possibly go when there was so much distance between them in the real world? The deeper this went, the harder it would be to walk away.
“Thank you for telling me,” Reece said.
She bit her lip as anxiety garbled her brain. “Thank you for listening,” she said. Words were woefully inadequate, failing her yet again. She met his gaze with as much courage as she could gather.
Reece’s brow knitted together as he read her face. Then, just as her stomach began to squirm again, he leaned over and kissed her forehead.
That was enough of five years ago, Charlotte decided. Enough of anything before today.
Chapter 10
3 MISSED CALLS FROM ROGER LUDERMORE
Reece’s Jeep was messy with boy paraphernalia: Empty bottles of Gatorade rolled across the floor, along with lint rollers, a gym bag bursting with laundry, and what looked like a stuffed plush sheep in the trunk. In the back seat with Liam and Misty, Charlotte watched the dog immediately start sniffing every crevice of the car.
“She smells the Poms,” Reece explained as they drove back to campus. He caught Charlotte’s eye in the rearview mirror. “She’ll settle down.”
Garrett twisted in his seat to hand Misty a treat from a plastic bag. She took it obediently, her pink tongue giving his palm a thorough cleaning. “Misty loves the car,” he cooed like a proud papa.
“Put on some tunes.” Liam emerged from his groggy stupor to hand his iPhone to Garrett, who plugged in the aux cord. Tropical indie pop pumped through the car.
Charlotte rolled down her window and tilted her face into the breeze. It was a short trip back to campus and she let the music and the boys’ idle chatter drift by her.
“There’s a pregame in Batty’s room tonight,” Garrett said. “I figure we hit that up before heading down to the Lawn. Then the after-party on Atwood.”
Tonight was the big party on the President’s Lawn, where alumni and undergrads blew off steam on the night before graduation. Charlotte barely remembered her own class’s Lawn Party—her last night on campus was an ugly haze of gin and self-loathing. As an undergrad, she probably spent five minutes under the massive white tent before storming off to sulk alone.
Charlotte shook the memory away. The Lawn Party was another experience that demanded a do-over, this time with no drama and lots of dancing. There was always a better-than-average DJ and a cash bar run by actual bartenders, not just students from the R&C committee. Hopefully it’d be like last night’s disco at Acronym, only with Reece beside her. She’d finally get the Hein farewell she deserved.
Misty crawled across Liam’s lap to sniff at the window. He patiently hugged her around the waist so that she could stick her muzzle into the wind without tumbling to a pavement-related death.
