“One kiss will set you free. One kiss is all you need. Those who have not kissed before shall now meet.” I gulp as I get the gist of what the card wants.
I have to kiss Seth. Seth drops the card and pushes his chair out as I stand up. He takes my hand and tugs me to his chest.
“This is the easiest game to win. There isn’t a moment I haven’t thought about doing this since we tracked you to that pub,” Seth softly tells me, and then he kisses me. I meet his lips with just as much passion as he pours into it. My hands slide into his soft hair as he deepens the kiss, and I forget about the entire world as Seth kisses me. There is just him and me. And a whole lot of tension and love we both have ignored for way too long. Seth breaks away first, and I stare up at him as I lower my hands to his chest. We need to talk, I know that, and I think he is thinking the same thing.
“About time. The sexual tension was getting annoying,” Killian says, placing his hand on my back as Seth lets me go. I look across at the higher gods, who are standing up and clapping.
Only one person isn’t there.
Storm.
Chapter 48
Killian
“We won, you should be happy about that,” I tease my brother. We’re in our quarters, decompressing from the not insignificant revelations that came about during the last game. I’m slumped in a chair, my feet up on the side table, and in spite of my relaxed posture, inside I’m thanking all the gods in the world that neither of us ended up getting hurt… or Karma, for that matter.
Especially Karma.
I’m starting to think I’m the only one of the four of us who’s handling our situation like an adult. Karma’s reaction I can understand - she’s stuck in the middle of all this, literally, and it can’t be easy to know the lives of everyone you care about are riding on the decisions you make in someone else’s tests. Seth, on the other hand, seems more content to glower and stew in his own juices, as he’s doing right now: he’s currently sitting in the window alcove, his elbow propped against one knee like he’s in a fucking painting, glaring out at the world outside like the sky itself cause all the problems in his life.
He wouldn’t be totally wrong, a spiteful voice within me pipes up. This would be a hell of a lot easier if Storm would man up and act his age instead of throwing a supernatural temper tantrum whenever we’re around Karma. A second, more mature voice pleads with me not to go there, warning me that I’m no better than him if I can’t manage to live and let live.
But that’s the fucking problem, isn’t it? Karma is intoxicating, and I find myself drawn in by her spell every time I’m around her. I know she has the same effect on Storm - and Seth, although he’s not one to admit it any time soon, I suspect - which is why this is so maddeningly frustrating. Hell, that same churlish part of me speaks up again, since we’re going the immature route, might as well come right out and say it: we’ve known her for longer than he has, anyway. I know it’s not by much, and I’m aware of how childish that probably sounds, but Storm isn’t exactly manning up here, either. And if we’re going to get technical, Seth knew Karma before either of us, even if their initial date left something to be desired.
The truth is, I was being completely honest when I told Karma I would be willing to let her be with the others, too - even if Storm is a pain in the arse. I’ve always been a bit… nontraditional, at least in my personal life, as one or two past flings have told me. It’s not even entirely uncommon amongst the gods to share women, even if the practice is a little archaic. I don’t know if it’s a god thing, or just a people thing, but when you live long enough, eventually you realise that real love is wanting another person to be happy, even if that means letting them be with someone else. It’s a lesson I would have expected someone with four centuries of experience leading a prison to understand, but considering how quickly Storm… Well… Stormed off after the last game, he doesn’t appear to have gotten the message.
My eyes return to Seth, who is sitting still as a statue, watching the waves roll in and out on the pebbly shore. I open my mouth to make a teasing remark about him finally getting to kiss Karma, but then close it again - I know the look on his face, and he’s clearly not in the mood right now. I don’t know why; kissing Karma isn’t a problem, or something to be angry about. I reckon there’s more to it than that, though. “Are you going to say anything?” I ask, crossing my arms and sitting up straighter in my chair.
There’s a long pause before Seth replies, not bothering to turn away from the window. “There’s nothing to say, Killian.”
“Sure, there is,” I reply, reaching up and stretching my arms over my head. “You just don’t want to say it.”
Seth makes a scoffing noise. “Maybe I don’t.”
“Fine,” I say, standing up from my chair and slowly walking over to where he’s sitting, “then I’ll say it for you. It’s about Karma, isn’t it?” Seth continues to glower, but there’s a flash of something in his eyes that tells me I’m on the right track. “It’s about kissing her, right?” I continue, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall so I can look at him. “I mean, what’s not to like? She’s a damn good kisser.” I know I’m on thin ice right now - I can see it by Seth’s clenched fists and stony expression - but I’m not about to let it go now. It’s not just that I’m curious (although that certainly plays a part); it’s that I need him in this with me if we’re going to make it through this. Seth was always the one more swayed by his emotions, and I can already see him stewing under the surface - I don’t want to wait for the least convenient moment for him to boil over… Say, for example, the next time Karma is put in harm’s way.
“Yeah,” Seth replies through gritted teeth, “she is.”
“So then what’s the problem?” I demand. “You should be happy. I don’t have a problem with it, and Storm…” I shake my head. “He’s a stick in the mud. But we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it - isn’t that what they say?”
“It’s not that,” Seth snaps, finally turning to me with fire in his gold eyes. I see I’ve finally gotten to him. “Just leave it, Killian, all right? Can you do that?”
“No,” I reply without missing a beat. “Because when you’re brooding, it means there’s shit you want to talk about, but can’t bring yourself to. So talk about it.”
Seth shakes his head, turning to face me and letting out a long sigh. He runs a hand through his hair, and I can see that his face is lined with anxiety. “Karma is…” he begins, and then trails off, as if he’s searching for the right words. “Karma is special,” he finishes at last. “You know, it, I know it, Storm knows it… Hell, the whole damn world knows it.”
“Yeah,” I agree, my voice going a little soft. “She is.” The rest goes unsaid: the fact that she’s gorgeous, her biting sarcasm, her obvious compassion for others, her determination to see this through, no matter how many times the elder gods beat her down… The list goes on and on.
There’s a long pause, and I wonder if I should say something else, but Seth seems to be collecting his thoughts, so instead I wait for him to speak. “I haven’t done anything like that since before she died,” Seth says at last. “The kiss, I mean.” I don’t need to ask who “she” is. Seth has always been quiet when it comes to his long-dead wife; even when she was alive, he tended to shelter her from me, from the reality of the supernatural world, as if putting a wall up between those two parts of his life would protect her. It did, for a while… but not even a god can stop cancer, and he knew it as well as I did. I tried to be there for him, tried to support him as a brother even as he was watching the woman he loved slowly waste away to a disease that no magic could heal, but there was only so much I could do. I think that maybe on some level he was ashamed at his inability to keep her safe, that in some twisted way, he felt guilty. In all the years that I’ve been a god of justice, it’s always pained me to see innocent humans fall victim to circumstance - war, poverty, disease… To watch my pregnant spouse go through it isn’t something I like to think about.
Seth clears his throat, and it’s obvious he’s struggling to talk about this, so I keep my mouth shut. Sometimes it’s best to just listen. “You know…” he chews his lip. “Back when we had our date, some part of me was still grieving. I saw Karma, but I didn’t see her, you know?” He scratches the back of his head. “That probably doesn’t make any sense.”
“No,” I tell him, “I get it. You went because you were trying to move on, but you weren’t ready.”
“Right.” Seth takes a shaky breath. “I knew she was beautiful, and fiery, and… Well, all the things we’ve seen of her since we tracked her down in that bar. I was attracted to her, but I wasn’t ready for it. I felt guilty. But then… Meeting her again, after all this time… It was like a switch went off. It was like I was seeing her for the first time, you know? This wasn’t just someone I wanted to be around - it was someone I wanted to protect, and that scared me.” He turns to meet my eyes. “I think that’s why I spent so long pushing her away,” he confesses at last. “I was afraid to feel what I felt for my wife, because of what it might mean if something happened to her.”
I nod grimly. It’s something I’ve thought about, too, as much as I don’t want to: the idea of losing her is too painful to imagine.
“Anyway, kissing her just made it that much more real,” Seth continues, turning back to the window. “Not just my feelings for her, but the fact that, no matter her powers, she’s vulnerable. It dawned on me that I could lose her, and that scares me more than anything else.”
I stay silent, not needing to say anything for him to know that I feel the same way. Karma acts strong and tough, but for all her bluster, underneath it all, she is just like everyone else. I think that’s what drew me to her in the first place, but it’s also the terrifying truth of the situation: any of us could die. We fear losing the one we are in love with, and we have no idea how to cope with it. Not even hundreds of years of being gods are enough to take away that fear.
I clear my throat, realising that this is all I’m going to get out of my brother, and move away from the wall.
“One more trial left,” I say. “Although if it’s anything like that batshit card game today, we’re in for a hell of a time.”
“That’s just it, I think,” Seth replies, getting to his feet. “That’s the problem. I have a suspicion that these games so far have been just that - games.”
“Your point?” I ask, not liking where this is going.
“My point,” Seth replies, “is that I think the last one will be different. It won’t be just a game - it will be a test. And the higher gods are conniving - you know that as well as I do.”
“You’re saying…” I begin, my stomach sinking.
“I’m saying that, knowing them, they aren’t going to make it possible for Karma to win,” Seth replies grimly. “At least, not without causing her deep pain. That’s how they manipulate you - that’s how they want to get into her head: by breaking her down so much that she has no choice but to join them.”
“And even if she does win,” I point out, “there’s no way of knowing they’ll even keep their promise.”
