* * *
The rest of the day moves at a snail’s pace. I continue to make anxious visits up to my room to check on Kit, but his situation remains unchanged. My talk with mum has taken the edge off, though, and I’m determined to take what she said seriously. I continue to hang around the house, drifting restlessly from room to room, so when I find Mads in the backyard early in the evening, working on her powers, it’s a nice distraction. “Where’s Pey?” I ask, leaning against the fence.
She furrows her brow, and I watch as blue sparks begin to manifest around her fingers. The ease with which she wielded her powers back on the island is gone, but with concentration, the lightning grows intense. A bolt leaps across the yard, making her eyes go wide. “Sorry,” she mutters, turning to me. “Pey went out with your dad—getting supplies, I think.” Scuffing her foot against the dirt, she mutters, “Wish I could do something more useful than almost burn down your yard.”
“Hey, you’re doing great,” I tell her. “Do you know how long it took me to use my powers?”
Mads snorts. “Well, I appreciate the support, at any rate. I can’t believe we’re leaving tomorrow. It all feels like it’s happening so fast.”
“I know,” I agree quietly, looking at the ground. There’s so much that I want to talk about, so many unspoken fears and insecurities, but it isn’t fair to dump those on Mads. She never signed up for any of this. Taking a shaky breath, I add, “I’m sorry that you got dragged into all this, Mads.”
She shrugs her shoulders, giving me a game smile. “It beats working in retail.”
That gets a laugh out of me, and I’m still giggling when the back door opens and Killian steps out. “I needed some air,” he explains, coming to a stop between us. “I’ve been climbing the walls in here.” Moments later, Seth and Storm follow him out. “Looks like we all have,” Killian observes.
“I hope we’re not interrupting anything,” Seth says, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Nothing other than me trying to learn how to use these damn powers,” Mads replies. “I swear, I’m not exactly goddess material.”
“I think we’re all a little restless,” Storm observes. “It’s always like this, the night before a battle.”
An idea occurs to me then, and I look up at the others. “Do you guys want to get away from here for a bit?” I ask. “We don’t have to use magic. We could just take a walk.”
The justice twins exchange a look, and Killian grins. “You just read my mind, Karma.”
Seth nods, and Storm shrugs his broad shoulders. “How can I say no?” the weather god asks.
I turn to Mads, who has the slightest smirk on her face. Her eyes drift from me to the guys, and then she says, “I think I’ll stay here, actually. I have to keep practising. You guys, though…” She shoots me an exaggerated wink, making me roll my eyes.
“Okay, okay,” I laugh. “Point taken.” Turning back to the guys, I say, “There are some cliffs not far from here; it’s a really nice spot. You can see the entire valley.”
“Say no more,” Killian jokes. “I’m sold.”
Feeling a surge of childlike excitement, I follow the guys back inside, leaving Mads to her practise. I think she knows on some level that I need time alone with them, especially with everything that’s at stake. Now is the time to appreciate the people I love.
Crossing over the threshold, we pass through the anti-magic barrier, and although it’s nerve-wracking being outside, there aren’t many people out and about at this hour. The justice twins walk on either side of me, with Storm behind, and although none of us says anything, I can tell that we’re all thinking the same thing: what’s going to happen tomorrow? And, of course, there’s the equally ambiguous follow-up question: if we survive this, what’s going to happen to us? Being in love with multiple guys at once never seemed like a possibility to me. I suppose it’s because I’ve never met men like these before. What few guys in my life who weren’t one-night stands have all turned out to be dicks in some way or another. I know that the practise isn’t unheard of amongst gods, although the dynamics are different between gods and humans. Part of me is still battling guilt, wondering if I’m being selfish for refusing to choose the way that I am. But the truth is that love has never been simple, and the idea of not having these people in my life is enough to make my blood run cold. I’ve got it bad, and there’s no way around it.
I glance over my shoulder at Storm, who seems lost in his own thoughts. He said that he would work to accept my relationship with the twins, but what about them? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a feeling for what they want, and time is running out…but I can’t bring myself to break the silence. Instead, I continue to lead them down the sloping lane and along the main road leading to the overlook.
The cliff overlooks a sprawling meadow, and although the area is developed, this is one piece of nature that hasn’t been touched. Few people know about it, and fewer visit it, which makes it even more special—I don’t think I’ve ever taken someone else here before. We trudge up the overgrown slope leading to the top, emerging in a copse of trees that opens onto a raised ledge. Below us, the verdant valley sprawls out in the light of the low sun, and I’m brought back to all the times I’ve come here seeking solace. Storm seems particularly moved after all his time spent in prison, while even Killian doesn’t make a single snarky remark. We all just stare out over the fields for some time, and if I didn’t know any better, from here, I might even think that the world wasn’t falling apart.
“I used to come up here as a little girl,” I say, walking out farther onto the ledge and slowly taking a seat. The stone is warm from the day’s sunlight, and I put my chin in my hand as I bask in the feeling. “I think the city has mostly forgotten about it. I found it by mistake.”
“This I have to hear,” Killian says, and I elbow him playfully as he and the others come to sit beside me.
“I botched my very first karma job,” I reply. “Pissed off the wrong guy—turns out, he wasn’t the one I was supposed to be messing with. Anyway, he was mad, and I ran, didn’t really care where I was going, and ended up here. He wasn’t even following me, but I didn’t know that.” I sigh. “I guess some things never change.”
I’m half-expecting one of them to give me some platitude, some shallow reassurance that we all make mistakes and that I’ve gotten better since then, but instead, they stay silent. I’m more grateful than I can express. The truth is that I was never cut out to be a karma goddess—there’s other blood running through my veins…and that’s okay. Mum’s words echo in my head, her request that I maintain my optimism, and I find myself feeling at ease for the first time in ages. Looking down at the plant tattoos on my arms, it’s not disgust I feel anymore, but acceptance. This all started because I was trying to force myself to be something that I wasn’t. What I didn’t realise was that by doing that, I was keeping myself from becoming something better.
It’s a long time before any of us speaks, until finally Seth brings up the elephant in the room. “It’s going to be bad tomorrow.”
Killian nods slowly. “Yeah. It is.”
Choosing his words carefully, Seth continues, “I know that things haven’t always been… That is, it’s been rocky, and there’s no denying that.” Killian looks at the ground but says nothing. “I just think we need to consider, in case something happens—”
Storm surprises me with the intensity of his tone. “Don’t talk like that.” Seth turns to him, eyes wide, but the weather god holds his ground. “We’re going to kill Neritous. We’re going to stop the twins. And we’re going to be fine—all of us.”
“I…didn’t expect you to care so much,” Seth replies, not making eye contact.
“I didn’t, for a long time,” Storm admits. “But there are things that are more important than pride.” Taking a shaky breath, he looks from Seth to Killian. “And if the two of you love her the way that I do, then we’re on the same side. I’m…I’m sorry that it’s taken me so long to see that.”
Seth blinks. “Apology accepted.”
“Ditto,” says Killian.
“Guys…” I say, overcome with emotion. None of them says anything; nothing needs to be said. Instead, each one shifts closer to me. I relax back into Storm’s chest, my hands intertwined with the justice twins’, and even the sight of the vista below us pales in comparison to the warmth I’m feeling in my heart.
The sun drops below the horizon not long after, and we decide that it’s time to head back. I probably won’t sleep well tonight, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to get to bed early all the same.
The shift in dynamic between the guys is strong and immediate. They actually talk to each other on the way back, Killian with his teasing jibes, Seth with his put-upon eye rolling, and Storm with his dry, stoic observations. I know it’s too early to think about the future, but it’s as if an invisible wall has come down between the three of them. There are no spiteful glances or muttered remarks when one of them kisses the top of my head or when another pulls me into his side. It feels like…
An understanding, I think as we head up the stoop to the front door. I’m just fumbling for my keys when the door flies open, revealing my dishevelled-looking mother. Her eyes are wide, and she looks like she’s halfway between panic and excitement.
“Mum?” I ask uncertainly.
“Thank the gods you’re back,” she says, frantically ushering us into the house.
