I flash back to my dad’s BMW pulling out of the driveway. Of standing in the front yard sobbing, begging him not to leave. Thinking that what was happening could not possibly be real. Praying he would see my desperation and realize his mistake and turn the car around.
He didn’t.
They don’t do that.
They just fucking break your heart and go.
My hands are shaking.
“Dez?” I say, trying to keep my voice calm for my friend. “Listen. I know exactly what to do. First, do you have any herbal tea? Chamomile?”
“Tea?” she wails. “What the hell, Molly?”
“Process-oriented tasks are calming!” I tell her, marshaling my years and years of therapy. “You’re going to make yourself a cup of tea and we’re going to talk this out, okay? Can you do that?”
“Yeah,” she says, after a long pause. “I guess.”
“Good. I’ll wait. Put me on speaker.”
“Fine. Hold on.”
I hear her fiddling around in her kitchen. Hear water running, then the electric kettle roaring. Hear her crying.
“Okay, I made the stupid tea.”
“Good girl. Now I want you to inhale the steam off the top of the cup while I count to five. All right? Deep inhales, deep exhales, all the way from your belly.”
“I should have called Alyssa.”
“I promise, this will help. Deep breaths. Do it with me.” I model breathing as I count. “One. Two. Three. Four. Five.”
I hear her following my breath. I count it out again. We repeat this over and over, until her crying slows.
“Okay,” she says shakily. “I feel calmer. Thank you.”
“Good. Now, before you do anything else, you need to call Seth. I’m going to text you his work number.”
While I’ve been counting, I’ve also been having visions of my mother losing her house. My rich dad hiding his money. This isn’t the same situation, but I know that Dezzie and Rob have debt. And if Rob can cheat on her and leave her, he can also hire a scumbag lawyer who can ruin her financially.
Maybe this is the reason I’ve fallen in love with a divorce attorney. I still don’t trust them as a species, but I trust Seth. I know he is honorable and good at what he does. I know he will protect my friend.
Dezzie whimpers. The sound is pure pain. “Oh God, Molls,” she says, “this is a fucking nightmare. It’s Thanksfuckinggiving, how am I supposed to—”
“Stop. Seth will know exactly what to do, okay? Will you call him?”
“Yeah,” she says weakly.
“And, while you’re doing that, I’m going to book a flight to Chicago.”
“No, don’t. My parents are already planning to come. They’ll be here tonight.”
“Then you’ll have all of us.”
“No, no, you have your trip with Seth.”
We’d planned to drive to Joshua Tree for the long weekend. Seth wants to cash in on my pining-era impulsive invitation to take him there. He says that was the first moment he realized I might really feel something for him.
“Are you sure?” I ask Dezzie. “Seth will understand. We can stay at his place and all spend the weekend together.”
“I’m sure,” Dezzie says.
“Okay, love. Call Seth and call me back.”
As soon as she hangs up I put my head on my kitchen table. I’m still shaking.
Dezzie and Rob. My God.
Happy endings, man.
Just when you think they might exist …
It’s terrifying, because things with Seth are getting really, really serious. I’ve watched myself fall for him, knowing my feelings are getting out of hand, and let it happen anyway. Enjoyed it happening. Sometimes I find myself randomly smiling and staring off into space, daydreaming about a life with him. One where we move to the same city, get married, maybe even have a baby.
I’ve begun to let myself wonder if we’re safe.
But no one’s ever safe. Because if this can happen to Dezzie and Rob, it can happen to anyone.
I send Seth a text.
