He exhales a bitter laugh, looking away. “I know you tried to stay in touch, but every time I heard your voice or saw your name pop up on my phone, it was like ripping open a wound. You have no idea how hard that was for me.”
Sarcasm drips from my words before I can stop them. “I’m so sorry that wanting a future for myself inconvenienced you so much.”
His face tightens, the hurt evident even as he argues back. “We had plans... But the first chance you got, you bailed on me. You showed me that none of it mattered to you.”
My defenses rise, and with them, a touch of regret. “We were teenagers planning things that were never going to happen. We were playing make believe.”
“Make believe?” His voice cracks with emotion. “Those plans were everything to me. I wanted to see the world with you.”
“And how were we supposed to afford any of it? We barely had two nickels to rub together, let alone a place to stay along the way. If I hadn’t gotten that scholarship, I wouldn’t have even been able to go to New York in the first place. We were dead broke back then.”
His jaw sets as he reveals a truth that stops my heart. “I busted my ass working every summer for three summers straight to save enough money for the both of us. All those lawns I mowed, every piece of brush I cleared... It was all for us.” He swallows hard, his voice softer now. “My grandmother even set money aside for me as a graduation gift, and my parents told me I could use their camper. I was going to use every bit of my money to get us as far as I could. If we’d only made it out there a week and had to come home, at least I would’ve gotten to experience that with you.”
The air leaves my lungs in a rush. Guilt gnaws at me. How had I not seen the depth of his commitment? “I didn’t know.”
He looks down, his fingers tracing the pattern on the quilt absentmindedly. “I was going to tell you I loved you,” he whispers, almost to himself. “The day you told me about getting into NYU and how you’d be leaving before long to get settled in... That was the day I was going to tell you.”
The revelation hits me like a physical blow. How different would our lives have been if I’d known? Would I have stayed? Would he have gone with me had I asked him to?
“Angel,” I say softly, reaching out to touch his arm, a gesture meant to bridge years of distance and misunderstandings. “I would have stayed... If I’d known, I would have stayed.” The words tumble out in a breathless confession, my gaze fixed on him, willing him to understand the magnitude of what he’s just revealed.
He shakes his head, a wry smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to be the reason you didn’t chase your dreams. Your real dreams...”
His words are selfless, but they carve a fresh ache into my chest. We were two souls fumbling in the dark, never finding the switch to illuminate what we really meant to each other.
Angel moves closer, bridging the gap between us with an intensity that sets my skin ablaze. He’s right here—so close I can feel the heat radiating from his body.
I look up at him, and something shifts in the air. It’s a silent understanding, a connection reigniting after years of darkness. His beautiful green eyes search mine, filled with emotions that mirror my own, a storm of love and loss and longing.
And then he leans in, his breath a whisper against my lips before they meet mine in a kiss that feels like both a beginning and an end. Every fiber of my being screams to push him away, to guard my heart against the tidal wave threatening to pull me under once more.
But I can’t.
This kiss is everything I’ve been dreaming about for nearly twenty years, everything I convinced myself was lost forever. Angel’s lips move against mine with a tenderness that rivals the strength of his arms wrapped around me, holding me close as if he’s afraid I’ll slip away again.
The world falls away as we lose ourselves in the kiss, in the rush of memories and missed opportunities colliding with the present moment. It’s overwhelming and perfect and terrifying all at once.
And then it ends. My mind reels after finally realizing that he loved me just as fiercely as I loved him.
And now?
Now there’s no telling where we go from here.
I pause, gathering the courage to tell him about my plans, about the reason I came home in the first place. “I came back to Scarlet Ridge because there’s an opportunity here... to open my own accounting firm.”
Interest flickers in his eyes but it’s quickly replaced by tension. “You’re thinking of staying?”
“I don’t know.” My voice is barely a whisper now. “Being back has stirred up so much... So many memories of us...” I trail off as his jaw sets. “I need time to process all this. I need time to decide if coming home is the right thing to do.”
He pulls away slightly, and I feel a sudden coldness from him.
“So what? You’re going to leave again?” There’s an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before.
“I don’t know,” I say again, feeling like a broken record. “I just need to figure things out.”
Angel stands up, muscles tense as he moves around the room with a restless energy. “Fine,” he says sharply. “Take your space.”
“Angel...” The name catches in my throat. “I have to figure out if I can trust you. I need to know if this is real or if it’s just old feelings being stirred up.”
“Why do you think you can’t trust me?” he asks, keeping his back to me.
“I know you’ve never really intended on settling down.”
“How do you know that?”
“I’ve heard things... Just people like to talk. You know how it is. The whole town knows everyone’s business.”
“Oh… You’ve heard I like to fuck around, right?” he asks, this time turning to look at me straight on. “Never spend a cold night alone, is that it?”
“It’s fine… Really. I’m not judging.”
“Really? Because it sounds like you are.”
“I’m not. We need to get to know each other again. What if this is real for me, but it’s not for you? Or even the other way around? I don’t want to get hurt and I don’t want you to get hurt. It’s just too complicated for us to rush right into anything.”
“Well here’s something that might un-complicate it for you… You know what happens when women think you sleep around? When they think you only care about one thing? They start to make sure they don’t look at you like you’re relationship material, like you’re someone they can’t really trust with their heart. And that works out splendidly for a man who only ever wanted a relationship with one woman. I won’t pretend I’ve been celibate all my life, but I can guarantee you that I haven’t been with nearly as many as you think, and even if I’d slept with a thousand women, it wouldn’t matter because none of them were ever you.” He pauses at the window and looks back at me with a complexity of emotions that mirrors my own inner turmoil. “I’ll give you space,” he says finally before slipping out into the early morning light.
Chapter 10Angel
