Lying in the cot at the station, I’m stretched out with my hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling. My mind should be drifting to sleep or at least resting, but it’s racing instead, chasing thoughts of Iris around every corner. I should be hoping for a busy night to make the shift go by fast, but truth is, I’m hoping like hell the alarm stays silent. It doesn’t help that Hudson has sprung a wedding on us all for tomorrow. I need to sleep so I’m not a complete zombie during the nuptials, but I just can’t.
My boots are kicked off and lay haphazardly on the floor next to my shirt. The rest of the crew is settled in for the night, their breaths deep and even, and I’m a little jealous that sleep hasn’t come so easily for me.
I could go see Iris when my shift ends, check if she’s okay. That’d still give me time to take a nap before I stand up beside my brother and watch him get married, but would Iris even want that?
I was so hurt when she left for college that I pulled away from her. She’d done what was best for her and as a grown-ass man, I get that now, but the eighteen-year-old me had been less forgiving when she’d ditched me and the plans we’d been making.
We were supposed to travel the country together, taking whatever music gigs we could get. I’d play guitar while she serenaded crowds with her beautiful, soulful voice. And along the way we’d make time for things like whitewater rafting, rock climbing, jumping off bridges… Literally. I’d planned out all sorts of wild activities to keep us busy between trying to catch our big musical break. She’d been just as stoked to do it all as I was… Or so I thought.
She kept reaching out during those first few months she was gone, but hearing about her life thriving without me was like swallowing glass. It hurt too much, so I went on that trip alone and never looked back.
I’d planned to tell her that I was in love with her the day she told me about NYU... I remember how her eyes lit up. It was as if she’d already left Scarlet Ridge behind in her mind. And there I stood, my confession of love dying in my throat.
I chose silence then. Chose not to burden her with my feelings when she was about to chase her dreams to the big city. So instead of telling her everything, I slowly cut off our connection.
I’ve been trying to erase her from my heart ever since.
Nobody else ever stood a chance because Iris owns every damn piece of it.
Now she’s back, but is it for good? Or is she just here visiting her parents? Even if she’s here to stay, does she even harbor a sliver of those feelings for me?
Or did it all get blown to hell when we were eighteen?
Chapter 4Iris
“Damn it,” I mutter to myself.
Nothing like stepping out of the hospital only to remember your vehicle is completely fucked and you have no way to get home.
Uber it is, I guess… If Scarlet Ridge even has Uber.
I pull out my phone and pull up the Uber app, but before I can determine whether or not it’s available in town, the velvety smooth voice that has haunted my dreams for years cuts through my concentration.
“Hey Iris,” he says, and I’m almost unprepared for the rush of memories his voice ignites. I turn, meeting his gaze, and find those green eyes haven’t changed. They’re still just as mesmerizing as ever.
“Hey.” My voice comes out steadier than I feel.
He offers a half-smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I could be better.” I fumble with my phone, feeling suddenly self-conscious. “I’m fine though. Really. Feel like I’ve been run over by a truck, but otherwise, I’m good.”
We stand there for a moment that stretches too long, the air thick with words we aren’t saying. He looks good. Too good, really. His T-shirt clings to his muscles, leaving little to the imagination and his jawline is somehow sharper than it used to be. He’s grown into his features. Not that he wasn’t the most attractive boy I’d ever known back then, but this man standing in front of me is more than I could ever have imagined he’d be.
“You’re lucky to have gotten out of that as well as you did.”
“I know. It’s scary to think about,” I say as his gaze settles on me. His lips settle into a hard line, like he wants to say something more but won’t allow himself to do it. “How’s... How’s Scarlet Ridge been treating you?” The question feels like grasping at straws, an attempt to kindle conversation where there’s nothing but wet tinder.
“Same old, same old,” he replies with a shrug. “You know how it is.”
“Yeah.” I laugh softly, the sound hollow even to my ears. “I do.”
There’s so much more I want to say, so much more I want to ask him.
Why did you stop taking my calls? Why did you vanish every time I came home? Did our friendship really mean so little to you? Did I really mean so little to you?
But the words lodge in my throat, stubborn and unmovable.
“Are you staying at your mom and dad’s?” he finally asks, breaking the silence that has settled between us.
“Yeah.” I glance away from him. “They’re in Vegas but on their way back now. They would’ve been here already but couldn’t get a quick flight back. I was going to surprise them and just be there when they got home in a couple days, but then the shit hit the fan.”
“How are you getting over there?” His brow furrows slightly with concern.
“I was about to see if I could get an Uber.” I hold up my phone like an idiot, like he doesn’t know what Uber is. Christ, how did I feel so comfortable with him when we were teenagers and yet so awkward now?
“I can give you a ride,” he says.
My stomach knots at the thought of being in a confined space with him, the same man who used to know me better than anyone else but now feels like someone I just met.
“No, that’s fine,” I say. “I can figure something—”
“It’s no trouble.” He cuts me off gently.
The rational part of me knows I should decline, should put distance between us but my heart wants him close again.
“Okay,” I concede. “Thanks.”
He nods and gestures for me to follow him. As we walk side by side through the parking lot, part of me wishes we could erase the years between us and go back to being eighteen again, to being best friends who shared secrets under starlit skies without any hint of the awkwardness that now clings to us like shadows.
