And stared.
Logically, I understood what my eyes were seeing, but my brain couldn’t fully process the spectacle.
Because staring back at me, their faces stamped with near-identical grins, was the entire Blackcastle football club. Every single one of them stood next to a different sports car like they were salesmen at a luxury auto show.
Well, almost every one of them.
My heart stopped when the two players in the middle parted, revealing a familiar head of dark hair and emerald eyes.
How…what…
My brain sputtered, at a loss for words, as Asher walked past his teammates and toward me. His mouth curved into a small smile. “Hi, darling.”
It was a simple greeting. Two words, which I’d heard plenty of times before. It shouldn’t have elicited such an instant, visceral reaction—but it did.
Every nerve ending sparked like live wires in the rain. Warmth sluiced through my body as my heartbeat slowed, trying to draw the moment out as long as possible.
Hi, darling. The only words that always made me feel like I was coming home.
They urged me to run up to him and throw my arms around his neck. To bury my face in his chest and listen to his heartbeat as proof that he was alive and here.
The compulsion was so strong, I actually took a tiny step forward before reason prevailed and I stopped myself.
Instead, I swallowed past the growing lump in my throat and gestured at the cars lined up behind him. “What’s this?”
It took all my remaining willpower not to falter as Asher closed the distance between us.
One step.
Two steps.
Three.
On and on until he came to a halt less than two feet from me—close enough for his scent to steal into my lungs and for his warmth to wrap around me like a blanket on a snowy winter night.
A shiver ghosted across my skin.
“I’ll explain in a second.” Asher’s voice pitched low enough for only my ears. “The last time we talked, you accused me of being too reckless and self-destructive. I didn’t want to admit it then, but I’ve had time to reflect on my actions and the reasons behind them, and you were right.” A cloud passed overhead, throwing the sculpted angles of his face into shadow. “I didn’t race despite the danger; I raced because of it. I loved the adrenaline. I loved the thrill of competing against death and winning. But recently, after a few…talks with other close people in my life, I realized that wasn’t the only reason.”
Asher swallowed before continuing. “When he suspended me, Coach said I lacked discipline because something deeper was driving the impulsiveness that made me do stupid things like race against Bocci. It wasn’t Holchester. It wasn’t my pride or my desire to be great. It was something else, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. Then my father showed up over the weekend”—his smile returned at my jerk of surprise—“yeah, I was shocked too. But he showed up and we had a long talk. He mentioned my behavior after Teddy died and how it seemed like I had a death wish at the time. That was when it hit me. I never truly reconciled my guilt over Teddy’s death. I was drawn to the danger of racing because I was trying to punish myself for what happened. Because part of me believed I should’ve been the one who died that night, not him.”
His raw confession hit me with the force of a physical blow. “Asher…”
“I’m not trying to make you feel sorry for me so you’ll forgive me,” he said. “I know it’s not an excuse for the way I’ve behaved, but it’s the truth. Like I mentioned earlier, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect these past two weeks, and I realized something else. Whenever I thought about racing in the past, I got an adrenaline rush. I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel and see how far it would take me. But when I think about it now, the only thing I feel is regret. Even if I hadn’t had the Teddy revelation, I would’ve felt the same way because racing is what lost me the one thing—the one person—I care about most in the world. You.”
Unshed tears sprang up in my eyes. I tried to speak, but it was impossible. Breathing was impossible. So I could only stand there, my eyes burning and my chest aching, while he slowly but systematically destroyed the defenses I’d built around my heart.
“My whole life, I focused on football and winning. That was it,” Asher said, a touch of vulnerability softening his voice. “Then you came along and shattered every preconception I had of who I was and what I wanted. You made me reevaluate my life and want to be a better person—not just for you but for me.”
One of the tears escaped and scalded my cheek. I was dimly aware that Carina was still there, and his teammates, and whoever else happened to pass by at the moment, but I didn’t care.
At that moment, no one else mattered except us.
“I can’t fully reconcile the impact Teddy’s death had on me overnight, but I think acknowledging it is a good first step. I don’t want to be the guy who lets his past and his pride drive him to reckless decisions anymore,” Asher said. “I don’t want to hurt myself or the people I care about for some short-lived high. Most of all, I don’t want to ruin my chances of spending as many days with you as possible because I love you. More than football, more than racing, more than anything else in this universe—Pluto included.”
A half laugh, half sob tore past my throat. More tears fell, but I didn’t bother trying to stop them.
Asher’s acknowledgment of my silly Pluto rant over the summer and how much the little planet meant to me in this particular moment was so perfect, so him that it made my heart squeeze.
“I love you,” he repeated, his words thick with emotion. “I’m so fucking in love with you, darling, and the only reckless thing I want to do is explore how deep this rabbit hole goes with you. Together.”
I laughed again, my own voice embarrassingly watery. “It goes pretty deep, I imagine.”
He smiled. “I think so.”
I love you. My body sang with those words, but before I could respond or acknowledge that sentiment with something more than tears, Asher stepped to the side.
“However, I know words are cheap, so I asked the guys to come and give me a hand.” He gestured at the cars. “This is my entire car collection. I’ve bequeathed one vehicle to every member of the team.”
My pulse drummed in my ears. I’d been so distracted by the team’s appearance earlier that I hadn’t paid attention to the cars themselves.
The Porsche. The Bugatti. The Jaguar.
All familiar sights from Asher’s garage, all in someone else’s hands now.
“Tell me you didn’t,” I breathed. That was millions of pounds in luxury vehicles.
Money aside, Asher loved his cars. Even if he didn’t race, that didn’t mean he had to give up his collection.
