I’d never heard such a thing claw its way out of my throat, and it took me a minute to recognize the sound came from me.

Once the first one escaped, the rest followed, and I could no more stop them than a sand wall could stop a tsunami.

Sunday night, I’d cried silent tears, but there was nothing silent about these. They were guttural, chest-heaving sobs, the type that echoed across the deck and made the very air tremble with sympathy. They would’ve been humiliating had anyone seen me, but at this point, I didn’t care.

I’d fucked up my relationship with the only man I’d ever truly loved, and I had no one to blame but myself.

“Luna.”

Another sob shook my shoulders. I pressed a fist to my mouth, but the sound bled through anyway, and when I squeezed my eyes shut, I could feel the phantom of Xavier’s warmth brushing my back.

It was worse than the cold because it wasn’t real; it was my mind conjuring things to torture me.

“Luna.”

I needed to get out of here. If I stayed here for a second longer, I’d either freeze to death or lose my mind, but I couldn’t bring myself to move.

It’s not him. It was a figment of my imagination, and—

Firm hands grasped my arms, turning me around, and there he was. Inky black hair falling carelessly over his forehead, full mouth sculpted with concern, eyes that carved a trail of warmth through my frozen tears as they examined me.

He was still holding me. His body heat seeped through my clothes, and another set of shivers rippled down my spine—this time from warmth, not the cold. Perhaps my mind could evoke sounds and images and sensations, but it couldn’t create this: the total, all-encompassing peace that I felt only when I was with him.

Not a figment. He was real. I cried harder.

“Hey.” Alarm brightened his gaze. “It’s okay. Don’t cry.” He rubbed away one of my tears with a gentle thumb. “Shh. It’s okay.”

“I thought you’d left.” I hiccupped, embarrassed but too relieved to do anything about it.

Understanding dawned on Xavier’s face. “There was an old couple here earlier. One of them fell, so I helped them downstairs. I sent you a message in case you showed up while I was gone.”

“My phone died.” I hiccupped again. “I forgot to charge it.” “Ah.” Xavier’s voice hoarsened as he pulled me toward him.

“I’m here, Luna. I didn’t leave. I’m here.”

His words should’ve reassured me, but they threw the floodgates wider. I buried my face in his chest as years of pent-up emotion poured out.

Every fear, every frustration, every heartbreak. They’d waited a lifetime to break free, and once they did, they didn’t stop until every last drop of moisture had evaporated and I sagged against Xavier, emptied and exhausted.

Throughout it all, he held me, even when I ruined what was probably a very expensive sweater and made a general mess of myself.

“I’m sorry,” I said through a lingering sob. “I didn’t…when I…” I wasn’t the type for heartfelt speeches or flowery prose, and it was a testament to how well Xavier knew me that he didn’t need either of those things to understand what I was trying to say. “You don’t have to apologize. I know.” His arms tightened around me. “All that matters is you’re here.”

I lifted my head, my heart aching as I looked at the man who’d always been there for me, in one way or another, since he entered my life.

“I love you,” I said quietly. I’d said the words before, many years ago, but this time they felt different. This time, they felt right. “I’m sorry it took me so long to admit it, and I’m sorry for pushing you away. I just…” My voice dropped even lower. “I’m scared.”

I liked structure and routine. My life was built around the safe harbor I’d constructed for myself since I broke up with Bentley, and what Xavier and I had was completely uncharted waters. They could either take us to the greatest place we’d ever seen or toss us over a hundred-foot cliff with no life raft.

“I am too, but that’s what makes this worth it.” He pushed a stray lock of hair out of my eyes, his touch impossibly tender. “Life would be pretty boring if we knew what was going to happen every day.”

I sniffled. “Actually, that sounds wonderful. I would love that.”

“Well, you color coordinate your office supplies, so I’m not surprised.”

My watery laugh chased away some of the heaviness. “Smartass.”

“I’m guessing that’s one of the things you love about me.” Xavier gave me one of those crooked, dimpled smiles I loathed and adored so much. “And your dedication to making sure your green highlighters are always lined up to the left of the blue ones is one of the things I love about you.” He dipped his head, pressing his forehead against mine. “Love isn’t about perfection, Luna; it’s about imperfect people creating their own version of happily ever after. And while I don’t know everything, I do know this: Every version of my happily ever after will always include some version of you.”

Fresh tears welled in my throat. Oh, God. I’d spent twentysomething years unable to cry, and now I couldn’t stop.

Xavier leaned in to kiss me, but I pulled back in an uncharacteristic bout of self-consciousness. “You don’t want to kiss me right now. I’m a mess.”

I purposely avoided looking at my reflection in a nearby glass pane, but I knew what I’d find—swollen eyes, red nose, mascara tracks running down my face and hair matted with sweat. Not exactly kissing material.

Xavier framed my face with his hands, stilling me. “I always want to kiss you, and you’re perfect exactly the way you are.”

If he were anyone else, I wouldn’t have believed him, but when his mouth touched mine, every other thought melted away. The wind, the half-dried tears, the fucking journey I took tonight to get here…none of that mattered as I twined my fingers through his hair and returned his kiss with abandon.

Everything I’d gone through was worth it for this moment. And yeah, a couple kissing on the top of the Empire State Building after their big reconciliation was such a movie cliché, but like I said…

Sometimes, the rom-coms got it right.

CHAPTER 44

Xavier

When I reentered the observation deck and saw Sloane standing there, my relief had been so overwhelming I couldn’t move for a good five seconds.

I’d waited there for hours, and there’d been a moment—many moments—when I thought she wouldn’t show. I’d been convinced I’d fucked up by giving her an ultimatum and that I’d ruined my chances of winning her back in the future.

But by some miracle, she had showed, and that was all I needed to never let her go again.

We didn’t stay at the Empire State Building long. For one, it was way too fucking cold. For two…well, we had better things to do.

Sloane and I stumbled into her apartment without taking our hands or mouths off one another.

We knew each other’s bodies so intimately, the buildup was almost thoughtless in its precision—a nip on the sensitive spot behind her left ear, a sliding caress from my stomach to chest and shoulders.

Our clothes left a trail from her front door to her room, where I pushed her onto the bed and paused, taking a moment just to drink her in.

Sloane stared up at me, her lips swollen from my attentions and her eyes shining in a way that made my heart squeeze.

I love you.

Three words, uttered countless times by countless people over the centuries. Yet coming from her, they had the power to bring me to my knees.