“Stop doing that!” he yelled.

“W-what?”

“That thing, with your voice. Are you trying to make me feel pity for you? What the hell is wrong with your voice, it wasn’t like that before... No, I don’t want to know, I don’t want to hear it.”

“Ashen!” she shouted, frustrated.

It was getting a bit harder to breathe, and she felt like crying. This wasn’t going the way she had hoped at all... He was wary of her, and she knew it would happen, but she could barely talk. She couldn’t stop stuttering enough to explain herself, and the more nervous and frustrated she got, the worse it would be.

He sighed, visibly calming down, and a little light of hope appeared in her heart. If he could just listen to her a bit... But Ashen slowly shook his head, brushing his white hair back with a tired expression.

“Enough, Cessilia. You should... You should go home. I don’t think I can handle you being here anymore. Please, just... go.”

He turned around, to avoid looking at her, directing his steps toward the door.

Everything was happening so fast in her head. She had to do something to stop him. She didn’t want to go home; not now, not today, not so soon. She still had so much to explain to him, and she didn’t want to go back to before. She couldn’t stand the idea of losing him again. Not this time. She had promised herself so many times, dreamed a thousand times of when they’d see each other again. Sometimes it felt like a fleeting dream that would never happen, and sometimes, it felt like she just had to cross that border between their countries. She had thought him to be dead, so many times too. Back then, all she could think of was that she’d be satisfied if he was alive and well. Now that he was here, and alive, she knew she had lied to herself; this much just wasn’t enough.

She stepped forward, fighting that knot in her throat with all of her strength, to get out those words. Something, anything to hold him back. It wasn’t coming. It was stuck in her tight throat and in her twitching lips, her mouth numb. She wanted to cry and shout in frustration, but even that felt cruelly hard. He reached the doors, his back about to disappear. Then, something broke in her, snapped in two by all the distress she was going through.

“D-don’t you love me anymore?” she asked, almost a cry.

Ashen froze with one hand on the handle. The door wasn’t opened yet, he was just about to push it. A voice called from outside the bedroom, something unintelligible Cessilia couldn’t understand, but that made him close the door again.

Her heart was going fast, way too fast. She could almost feel the blood rushing to her extremities, making her numb in some parts. She was holding on to that vision of Ashen’s back, and the fact that he wasn’t gone yet. Instead, he was stuck in that heavy silence between them. Cessilia stepped forward, almost worried she would miss his answer. She couldn’t see his face, blocked by his white hair in between. He then turned his head, but now, she couldn’t see his eyes, just the edge of his lips and nose. He opened his mouth, slowly.

“I...”

Whatever he wanted to say next, it didn’t come out, his sentence remained suspended between them, that troubled tone in his voice serving only as a clue. That was all Cessilia wanted. Some hope.

She moved forward, not thinking about anything anymore. In just a few seconds, she closed the distance between them, feeling the bravery of a dragon inside her. She reached Ashen, and without any warning, she put her lips on his. This was a gesture she wouldn’t have dared to dream of just seconds ago, but now, something was changing inside her. Her voice was broken, but not her body. Her hand on his cheek, the other on his arm, she just kissed him, putting all of her feelings into that shy, fragile kiss.

Ashen’s lips opened slightly. She couldn’t tell if it was to breathe or to taste more of her. Cessilia slowly pulled back, watching his expression, that feeling lingering on her lips.

The look in Ashen’s eyes was all she wanted to know. That breach in his armor, that almost frightened look meant she had reached something deep inside. He was letting down his cold and ruthless demeanor to show the young man she had known once before, the one she had missed so much it hurt.

“...Never do that again.”

He fled the room as fast as he could, leaving Cessilia there.

When reality hit her again, she exhaled all at once, staggering and stumbling back, her body going numb again. It was such that she dropped down to her knees, trying to catch her breath, massaging her chest, hoping her heart would calm down too. Cessilia had to lean against the door for a few minutes, just trying to recuperate. Despite her physical distress, something in her heart was a bit brighter, and she felt a little bit more confident, a faint smile even appearing on her lips.

Then, she heard a faint growl coming from the other side. She brushed her curls back and turned her head, seeing Krai’s big head shyly appearing behind the rail. Cessilia smiled and slowly stood up, helping herself by using the wall on the side, and walked over. Its head was trying to go higher than the balcony, so it could get in, but there was no way the dragon’s body would ever fit in the suite. When Cessilia reached the balcony, she glanced outside and noticed it was indeed trying to climb up the cliff, its lower body in the water. Krai probably struggled to fly to that place and had to dig its claws into the cliff to have a stable position to peek. She smiled, and sat on the rail, leaning forward to caress the big dark snout.

“Were you worried...?” she muttered. “I’m f-fine...”

The dragon’s warm scales under her hand were very comforting. Cessilia gave in, leaning even further, until her upper body rested on the dragon’s head, her hand between its eyes. Feeling her father’s dragon was both heart-warming and a bit saddening. When she heard Krai growl softly again, Cessilia felt her lower lip twitch a bit.

“I miss her t-too...”

Cessilia’s tears fell down silently. She didn’t want to think about Cece, but now, it was inevitable. She closed her eyes, crying silently and feeling the dragon’s warmth under her, imagining it was her own...

“Lady Cessilia...?”

The shy knocks on the door woke her up from her half-drowsy state. Cessilia slowly rose up, gently pushed by Krai too, and saw Nana fidgeting at the entrance of the suite. The young woman looked worried and was holding a large drink in her hands.

“Oh, Sir Dragon is here too! Hi, again!”

Krai tilted its large head, visibly curious about the little Dorosef woman. Nana walked over to Cessilia.

“I’m sorry, I tried knocking twice already but I thought you didn’t hear, these doors are so huge! So, my uncle said the dinner is almost ready, but he wanted to know if you prefer to eat in your room or in the tower with us since the weather is nice tonight! Oh, you should drink this later! It’s warm milk with honey, it will help you sleep! I’ll put it on your bedside table! Oh, you didn’t unpack yet? Do you need help with that? Oh, I can... Lady Cessilia, are you okay? You look like you cried!”

Cessilia quickly tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Her face felt all dry and salty from being exposed to the sea spray all this time, and her hair was a mess too...

“Nana, c-can I wash my face b-before dinner?”

“Of course! The bathroom should be ready, right? Oh, you should ask them to get you coconut butter! It does wonders for dry skin, all my sisters and I use it!”

“Th-thank you, I’ll b-be quick.”

Cessilia ran to the suite’s bathroom, trying to hide her face from Nana, a bit shy. Upon glancing at the mirror, she realized it wasn’t so bad. She took a deep breath and washed her face in the little basin first, hoping the cold water would wash it all away, and wake her up a bit better.

The memory of what had happened just minutes ago was still burning on her lips. Cessilia stared at her reflection in the mirror, trying to see what he had seen in her... A liar? A traitor? She shook her head, chasing all those thoughts away. It didn’t matter much now. She knew there was still something between them... She could hold on to that, and it was enough for her. He hadn’t kicked her out of his Kingdom, and he hadn’t rejected her kiss either. The look in his eyes... Cessilia touched her lips, trying to grasp that feeling again. It was still so vivid in her mind, yet disappearing already.

“Oh, can I help you brush your hair?”

Nana’s voice coming from the doorstep made her jump.

“Sorry...” mumbled Nana, realizing she had scared her. “I just thought you might need uh... some help. The coconut butter is great for dry lips too!”

Cessilia smiled, thankful for Nana’s bright personality right now. If it had been Tessa there instead, her cousin would have surely insisted to know what had happened for the longest time. Naptunie didn’t seem to mind, and she was nice enough to pretend she hadn’t seen Cessilia’s crying. Although she obviously knew, she was being kind and was just trying to cheer her up. After Cessilia nodded, she merrily walked over to grab a comb and help her with her hair, which was too long for Cessilia to handle alone.

“Your hair is so pretty...” smiled Nana. “Do you have servants at home to brush it?”

“My little sister d-does it.”

“Oh right! You mentioned you have siblings! Do you have many sisters?”

“Just t-two, but we have five b-brothers.”

“Oh... Five boys, that must be tough! In my family, we always have more girls than boys! ...Do you miss your family? Or your home country? Is that why you were crying...?”

Cessilia chuckled. It seemed Nana was curious after all.

“It’s t-too soon,” she shook her head. “I j-just arrived t-today, b-but I am alright. Th-thank you, Nana.”

“Oh, you’re welcome! You know, when my uncle said you were a princess, I was very nervous to accompany you! I mean, I have never been friends with a real princess before, and the rich girls I know are all so haughty and mean... like that Yekara girl. I don’t get why they always make fun of my tribe the most. Without us, who would fish for all our citizens?! I don’t care, you know, we learn to ignore them. I hope she won’t become the Queen though. We really don’t need a bad person like that!”

“Why d-did you enter the c-competition, Nana?”