Fine. Fine. Enzo is obviously going to nag me about this until I agree, so I’ll go to the doctor and let them check my blood pressure, but I’m sure it will all be fine.

“Also,” he says, “we should get life insurance policies for each other.”

I don’t like the turn this conversation is taking. It’s bad enough I have to find a new doctor to see and make an appointment. “Life insurance policies? I don’t know about that. Why would we get those?”

“Why wouldn’t we?” He glances out the window, where we have a spectacular view of the Lowells’ much larger house. “What if something happened to me? You would be alone with the children. You should have money.”

I close my eyes, not wanting to imagine the death of my husband. It’s almost unthinkable. “Okay, so take out a life insurance policy on yourself then.”

“And you should have one too.”

“So you get a payoff if I die?”

He presses his lips together. “Millie, you know this is not for me. This is for our children. So they have a roof over their heads. You know we are barely able to pay the mortgage as it is.”

He’s not wrong. A lot of people with children have life insurance policies. Several years ago, we were talking about it, but we both got so upset at the idea of one of us dying that we never ended up getting them.

I’m not sure if my blood pressure is high or not right now, but it feels high.

“I know this is a sad thing.” Enzo picks up my hand in his. “I would not want to ever lose you. But this is responsible.”

“Yes, that’s true.”

“Also,” he adds, “Suzette recommended a very good insurance agent. I could give him a call tomorrow.”

Oh. Suzette was behind this. Now it all makes sense.

“So for eleven years, you don’t think we need life insurance,” I say. “And Suzette says one word about it, and now we have to call this guy tomorrow?”

“Millie.” His face flushes slightly, although it’s hard to tell because of his olive skin tone. “I am trying to take care of my family, no matter what happens to me.”

“Fine. Okay!”

God, why is he making me feel like I’m the one being difficult? Life insurance is a big deal, isn’t it? I know it’s important, but I don’t want to rush into buying something, especially when we don’t have a lot of disposable income.

It’s not like I’m dying tomorrow, after all.

SEVENTEEN

“Are you dying, Mom?”

Ada asks me the question as I’m saying good night to her. She’s lying in her twin bed, the blanket covered in pictures of dogs pulled up to her chin, her little face scrunched up with worry. Ada has always worried too much. That girl keeps the weight of the world on her shoulders. Even as a toddler, she used to fret over everything, especially Nico. When Nico had so much as a sniffle, she used to cry over it.

“I’m not dying!” I swipe a few strands of black hair from her face. “Why would you say that?”

“I heard you and Dad talking about it.”

Oh great. In our old apartment, we were acutely aware that the kids could hear through the paper-thin walls. Somehow, we have been under the misapprehension that it’s different in this big house. But apparently, they can still hear everything.

“I’m not dying,” I assure her.

“Then why are you getting life insurance?”

I sense that “in case we die” is not the right answer. Although technically, it is the right answer. “It’s just in case some weird, unexpected accident happens. But that won’t happen.”

“It might.”

Ada has the same crease between her eyebrows that Enzo gets when he’s worried. She looks a lot like him—same eyes, nose, skin tone, thick black hair—but she doesn’t have his personality. And honestly, for better or worse, she’s not much like me either. She’s one of those kids where you’re not entirely sure where she came from. Maybe she’s like one of her grandparents. My mother and I are estranged, but she always seemed very anxious.

And her intelligence is a mystery too.

“Ada.” I climb into her small bed, curling up beside her warm body. In a few years, she won’t let me do this, so I’m going to enjoy it for now. “I’m going to live a long time, probably after you have kids, and maybe even after your kids have kids. And your dad… Well, he’s probably going to live forever.”

If anyone in this world is immortal, it’s Enzo, so it could very well be true.

“Then why do you need life insurance?”

This conversation could potentially go on the rest of the night. “Ada,” I say, “you need to stop worrying and get some sleep.”

She squirms under the covers. “Is Dad coming in?”

Right now, both of our kids require both parents to say good night before they can fall asleep. It’s a routine that is simultaneously sweet and exhausting. After I’m done with Ada, my next stop will be Nico’s room. That’s probably where Enzo is now. We can trade off.

“I’ll send him in next,” I say.

That gets a smile out of her. As much as I hate to admit it, Ada is a total daddy’s girl—from the moment she was born. I remember when she was an infant, there was one day when she was screaming her head off for two straight hours, and the second Enzo came home from work and held her, she quieted down in an instant. So if anybody can make her feel better, it’s him.

When I arrive at Nico's room, I expected to see Enzo and Nico together in the room, feeding some flies to the praying mantis or something horrible like that. But Enzo isn’t in the room. Nico is alone in his bedroom, and the lights are already out, although his eyes are still open.

“Tired?” I ask him.

“Kind of.”

I squint through the darkness at his face. He also has similar features to Enzo, although I suppose he looks more like me between the two of my children, which isn’t saying much. We named him Nicolas after Enzo’s father. “Is everything okay?”

“Mm-hmm.”

Nico has the praying mantis right by the head of his bed. It’s a little hard to see in the mesh enclosure, but when I finally spot the long thin insect, I can see its little hands rubbing together. That bug definitely looks like it’s plotting something. I know boys are into bugs, but why would anyone want something like that inside their bedroom? Is there something wrong with him?

No. There’s nothing wrong with Nico. He is the happiest, most well-adjusted kid ever. Everyone loves him.

I cringe as I lean past the enclosure to kiss my son on the forehead. Tomorrow, I’ll have to talk to him about moving it. Maybe to the other side of the room, or possibly out of the house entirely.

“Good night,” I say.

“G’night, Mom,” he says sleepily.

As I pull away, I glance out the window. It’s close to a full moon tonight, illuminating our perfectly trimmed backyard. By the summer, I bet we will have the best yard in town. Enzo will make sure of that.