They both seemed to like it, although neither one quite as much as I did. “Can we get this one?”
Michael and Adam were agreeable to it, so we went to speak to the landlord downstairs about the requirements for getting approval and moving in. By the time we left, we had the keys in our hands. Our apartment was three only three doors down from Adam’s, and there was even a little rooftop space to make a rooftop garden on the building. The landlord was super nice and since we didn’t have a lot of our own stuff due to living in the shelter, he even offered to throw in the furniture that he had used to stage the apartment for us to use for as long as we rented there. The only thing left to do was to go back to the shelter to get our things, maybe spend one last night there amongst some of the friends that we had made, and then move into our new apartments the next morning. Of course, I would still keep my job at the shelter. I loved it too much not to, even if we weren’t going to be living there anymore. And besides, I still had a garden to tend with my teenage friend for as long as she remained here. I was pretty sure that Adam was going to keep his job here as well. He had finished painting murals on almost all of the available wall space in the entire shelter, both inside and out. But I got the feeling he wanted to stick close to Anna still, and she said that she had other creative projects that he could still do around the shelter. Even if it wouldn’t be enough work to pay rent, Adam had the idea to open up a little gallery to sell his own paintings in. There was just enough money left over after getting the apartment for him to rent a small studio space in the downtown area, which would be perfect for both creating and selling his artwork out of. But even though he was going to try his hand at being a freelance artist, he wanted to keep giving back to the streets, so he continued to do mural work throughout the city.
Michael was a bit tougher to figure out as far as what he really wanted to do. He enjoyed helping tutor the clients at the shelter, but he wanted something more. I could see it in his eyes. It was difficult to go from an adrenaline-filled life (even if a lot of it majorly sucked as you were living it), to just being a part-time tutor.
“You should ask Anna about her contact at the university,” I suggested. “Maybe there’s a better and more exciting job there. I’m sure that it would at least pay a higher salary.”
“But then who would tutor the kids at the shelter?” he asked. “Even your friend, that girl that helps you with the garden, sometimes needs tutoring in order to keep up with her classes.”
“I’m sure that we can all pitch in and help,” Adam answered before I had a chance to. “I agree with Lisette. You really should pursue a better opportunity if there’s one available for you.”
“You’re just trying to get rid of me again,” Michael laughed.
His laughter was contagious because Adam started cracking up shortly afterward, and then so did I.
“Nah, I just want to see you make something more of yourself,” Adam said sincerely. His tone changed from one of playing around, to one of a stoic seriousness. “Look, I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, and a lot of the times I thought you were a pompous ass, but even back then I knew that you were made for more than the fate that was laid out for us. I didn’t tell you, mostly because I didn’t want it to go to your head, but I have always admired and envied you. And I could see you making a great college professor someday.
Michael stood there for a second and stared at Adam. He looked a bit stunned at the things Adam had said. Then, without warning, he reached out to grab Adam and pull him into a hug.
“Thank you,” Michael said in a low voice. “Thank you for being my friend even when I didn’t expect that anyone could be.”
“So does that mean that you’re going to talk to Anna about her friend at the university?” Adam pressed with a grin.
“Yes,” Michael laughed. “I’ll ask her. But don’t get your hopes up. Usually a college professor has to die before their job comes up for grabs. Besides, I’m not really qualified to accept a position like that.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked. “You were in line to be headmaster at Lineage, you can certainly teach at a university.”
“That was only because I was the son of the headmistress, not because I was qualified for the job.”
“I don’t know,” I said as I shook my head. “I think you have a penchant for it. I think that you would make a great leader in a university setting.”
“Well, I haven’t exactly had the best role models for that sort of thing,” he said.
His comment reminded me of what he said during my pregnancy scare. He said the same thing about being a parent. I thought that he was much too hard on himself about all of it.
“The fact that you even recognize that your role models sucked, already shows that you can, and want, to do better. I think that would make you perfectly suited for it. Sometimes it’s those of us that come from the shittiest situations, that end up making the biggest and most inspiring comebacks that lead others.”
“Since when did you get so wise?” Adam joked as he gently poked me in the side of my ribs.
Time passed much faster now than it had when we were back in Charlotte. It seemed like the days at Goldshire and Lineage dragged on and on with no end in sight, but now they were flying by at record pace. I guess that was because our time in Charlotte was so wrought with turmoil and I spent so much of it wanting to just run away. But now, I had a life that I didn’t want to run away from, and every day seemed like it was racing by in the blink of an eye. There was one thing though that didn’t seem to be as settled as I had hoped.
“Are you happy here?” I asked Michael as we sat on our small couch in front of the open window.
It was well into spring now and the nice, cool breeze that came through the open window was fragrant and refreshing. I had started a little rooftop garden and the smells from newly-opening blooms were starting to waft down into the apartments.
“Of course,” he answered, with one hand on my knee and the other holding a half-filled wine glass that teetered between his fingers. “Aren’t you?”
I answered without hesitation.
“Yes, I am—completely. But I can’t help but notice that it seems like you have a lingering feeling about you.”
“A feeling?” he asked. “What kind of feeling?”
I shifted closer to his lap and laid my head against his shoulder.
“I don’t really know exactly. It just seems as if there’s something that isn’t quite right. Like there’s something that you’re missing or that you aren’t quite content with yet. I just wish that knew what it was. I want you to be as happy as I am here.”
“I am,” Michael said.
He smiled, and kissed my head, and it felt for the first time since I’d known him that he seemed to have lost some of the passion behind his eyes. I wasn’t at all convinced that he was okay. There was something wrong, and I was determined to find out what it was and fix it.
“You know,” I said in a contemplative sigh, “there is an opening at the university that I overheard Anna mentioning at the shelter. She was talking on the phone to Adam I think, about how her friend at the university was asking around to see if she knew anyone who might fit the role.”
“What’s the role?”
“Headmaster.”
“Lisette,” Michael said with exasperation. “We’ve already been through this. I’m not qualified to be a headmaster at a Canadian university.”
“But what if you could get the job anyways?”
“And how, exactly, would I be able to get a job that I am completely unqualified for? I know Anna wants to help, but she owns the shelter, not the university. There’s not that much she can do aside from put in a good word for me with her friend. Whoever does their hiring will take one look at my application and toss it in the trash.”
“See, now I think you’re just being dramatic,” I said. “No one is going to toss your application in the trash.”
“They will unless they are looking for a very specific skill set.”
