Steadies herself on the bucking machine, off to the side and safely out of the way of the monsters, where she can watch John do his thing.
The next wave lumbers in—she’s always startled by how fast they are—and she sees John astride his big board, racing down the smooth blue face of his wave, legs staunch but vibrating, feet locked in the thick rubber straps glued to his board. He carves out ahead of the lip then rises, backing up into the barrel, casually trailing a hand on the cylinder as he streams along just ahead of the crushing lip—John’s signature move; he’s one of the few guys who does this daredevil-in-the-barrel thing, looking cool on a fifty-footer. He’s twenty-six years old, one of the top ten big-wave riders in the world.
Jen hears the barrel roaring closed behind him. Like a freight train or a stretched-out thunderclap.
Jen smiles.
Jen and John. John and Jen.
Look at him, she thinks. This is it. This is why we do it. Nothing we’ll ever do will match it. Not love. Not sex. Not being a mother or a father. Not seeing God. Not mountains of money. Nothing. Nothing can touch this speed, this perilous grace, this joy, this high.
Then it all goes wrong.
The thick lip lunges forward like a leopard, taking him by the head and off his board.
The sharp orange-and-black gun hangs in the air above him, the leash still fastened to John’s ankle, then the fins catch and the board spears past John, missing him by inches.
He’s lifted high above the ribs of the wave, then pitched over the falls, pulled down by his board, into the raging impact zone.
Jen checks the next wave—well fuck, it’s bigger than this one—then steers the jet ski closer to the wall of whitewater that owns her husband.
A bright red rescue helicopter swoops down, close enough to tear foam off the crest of that wave.
Two rescue skis cut wide semicircles around the impact zone, their drivers looking for a way in.
And two more of the tow ski drivers, bucking the chop in search of John.
The seconds zip by but John doesn’t surface. His broken board launches from the whitewater, just two halves hinged by fiberglass. No leash attached. Which, in spite of John’s quick-release coupling, could mean the absolute worst for him—the damned leash is still fastened to his ankle, virtually unbreakable, easily caught on the sharp reef boulders lurking just feet below the surface.
Jen watches for any flash of shape or color, his black trunks, his orange helmet—anything that’s not whitewater, swirling sand, and rocks. Anything …
She knows with the wave closing fast behind her it’s time to plunge into the mayhem.
Feels the monster pull of it drawing her up.
Circling tightly, checking the rescue sled, getting ready to go in, she pauses one fraction of a second and thinks—among darker thoughts: I love you more than anything in the world …
And in that split second, the next wave lifts her from behind and Jen feels the terrible vertigo of a coming fall while clinging to an eight-hundred-pound personal watercraft.
Her personal deathtrap.
She cranks the ski throttle full open, digs a hard U-turn into the face of the wave. Jumps the lip and flies over.
She’s midair again on the smoking contraption. Below her, no John in sight. Just his shattered board bouncing in the foam on its way to shore.
She lands behind the wave and speeds a wide arc to something like safety. Rooster-tails to near where John went down. Can’t get all that close.
She’s lost precious time. Precious seconds. A lot of them.
She grinds through the whitewater as best she can, crisscrossing the worst of it. A surge of heavy foam catches the jet ski broadside and flips it.
She keeps hold, lets another wall of whitewater crash over her before she can find the handles, right the beast, and continue searching her blinding world of foam and spray.
Smacked by the chop and wind, she clamps her teeth and grimaces to draw air instead of brine.
In shallower water, she searches the rocks below. Hears the scream of the other watercrafts around her, voices calling out. The big-wave people mostly look out for each other; they’re loose-knit and competitive but most of them will lose contests and miss waves to help someone in trouble—even of his own making, even some reckless trust-funder wannabe big-wave king with his own helicopter to tow him in and pro videographers to make him famous.
It’s what watermen and waterwomen do.
Jen keeps waiting to feel him behind her, climbing aboard the rescue sled. She knows it’s possible: John has trained himself to hold his breath for up to three minutes underwater.
But not being pounded like this …
As the minutes pass, hope and fear fight like dogs inside her—a battle that will guide the rest of her life.
We are small and brief.
We are the human passion to stay alive, made simple.
She helps work John’s body out of the rocks.
TWENTY-FIVE YEARS LATER
2
Looking Back—
WHO WAS JOHN STONEBREAKER AND WHAT WENT WRONG AT MAVERICKS?
