Evander pried the knife from my hand.
“She won’t hurt you,” he pleaded. And as I lost grip on the handle, my weight collapsed to the floor. “Ellie, I’m so sorry, but she won’t hurt you this way.”
I pushed him away, crumbling to my shaking knees and burying my face in my hands. “Go away.”
“I couldn’t let her hurt you. I had to say those things.”
I had to say those things. The words only implied that he hadn’t meant them, though the literal interpretation guaranteed no such thing.
And he hadn’t been lying when he told my almost-murderer that his heart belonged to her.
I spun on him and launched to my feet. “You could have stabbed that sword straight through her heart. That’s what you could have done.”
His jaw dropped, and he grasped for words, but I wasn’t done.
“You could have overpowered her. She’s a human girl, for Fate’s sake, Evander. She could be in the jail cells right now awaiting sentencing for attempting to murder the heir’s betrothed. But no. You let her go.”
“I—”
“You let her go.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt, El. I care about you. And you know that’s true, because I can’t lie.”
“Yeah, well, then I also know that what you told her was true, too. That you’ve been looking for a way to end this betrothal. That you’ve found a way to do it, and you didn’t tell me. What were you planning to do? Was getting me to fall in love with you just a back-up plan to make marriage to me more convenient for you if you had to go through with it? Or were you ever going to tell me there was a way to break the bargain?”
“I—”
“No. Stop. I’m not finished. Was that the plan all along? Did you decide to leave out that important information because you and your father think more alike than you’ve led me to believe? When did you decide that I’d make a convenient queen? That I’d run things behind the scenes so that your lazy butt wouldn’t have to?”
His eyes watered, but I didn’t care.
“When, Your Highness? When did you remember that your marriage bargain with me wouldn’t prohibit you from taking a mistress? Sure, obviously she wants me dead, because she wants it all—the power, the glory, the throne, to be seen with you in public. But you were holding onto that idea, weren’t you? That I could be your queen and free you up from your responsibilities so you could have more time to spend with the woman you actually care about.”
“El, I—” He shook his head. “I care about you.”
My voice went quiet. “Stop.”
“El—”
“Stop calling me that.”
Evander’s mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“You know what the worst part is?” I asked. “You can say that because you actually believe it to be true.”
“It is true,” he breathed.
“Get out.”
“El. Ellie—”
“Get. Out.”
He did. And when I stayed up for hours, weeping into my pillow, he didn’t return.
I told myself I hadn’t wanted him to.
CHAPTER 46
EVANDER
My feet traced the familiar path back toward the South Gate, past the guard whose summer homes I paid for, yet I hardly noticed him when he waved at me.
I made it all the way to the seedy tavern just to stand in front of the wretched building, unable to make myself go inside.
There was drink in there. Strong drink that would make the past few hours dissipate into nothingness if I let it.
But that would only last me a few hours.
Then the truth would assault me again, except this time I’d have a pounding headache.
The morning would come, my body would purge itself of the alcohol, and I’d still be left with the memory of what I’d done.
I’d chosen Cinderella over Ellie.
That hadn’t been the plan.
The moment I’d sensed the dread in Ellie’s voice, that quavering timbre humans had such a difficult time masking, I’d determined to put an end to the woman I’d once thought I loved.
