I’d checked my phone for any updates—voicemails, emails, text messages, missed calls—but there was nothing aside from the daunting group chat. In a way, it was nice to be so far from the others. A long walk, sure, but not within the same building. They couldn’t just knock on my door, show up unexpectedly, and the idea that I had a low-key girlfriend, well, it seemed that my friends now gave me extra space.
Shorts and a short-sleeved T-shirt allowed the breeze to cool my skin. Several people walked and jogged on the sidewalks, but the paved paths on both sides of the street were wide and extended as far as the eye could see so there were no crowds. Instead, plenty of space to take in the beauty of the island.
My phone rang and I answered on first call, hoping it was the hotel.
It wasn’t.
“Hey, sis,” I said into the phone.
“Hey, bhai! How’s paradise?”
“Hot as Hades.”
Sheila laughed.
“Is everything okay?” I asked, worried.
“Everything’s fine. Just checking in, making sure that you’re actually vacationing instead of remotely working.”
“Sheesh. You think I’m that bad that you have to call?”
“Yes.”
Fine, she was right. “Is Papa okay?”
“Yes.”
Guilt riddled my bones. “I shouldn’t be here when he’s sick.”
“You should. He’s okay right now and we’re here taking care of him.”
“When that’s my responsibility.”
“Eh, spare me your gender norms.”
“As the eldest.”
“And your traditionalist norms. Besides, you’re not really vacationing. It’s your best friend’s wedding, that you committed to nearly a year ago.”
“Doesn’t alleviate my guilt.”
“Stop that.”
But it wasn’t easy to lessen the burden of shame. Traditionally, as the son and the eldest child, I was supposed to take care of my parents. My sisters lived closer and insisted on staying with our parents to help out. While they were counting out Papa’s meds and making dinners so Ma wouldn’t have to, I was in freaking Hawaii.
“When I return, I’ll stay with them until he’s better,” I announced.
“No need. He’s doing fine now.”
“I work remotely. There’s no reason why I shouldn’t. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve stayed over.”
“Sure, but don’t think it’s been too long a time since you’ve seen them. You were just here two weeks ago. Seattle isn’t that far from Olympia. Stop being melodramatic as if you’ve abandoned your parents.”
I nodded, squinting in the sunlight whenever it pierced the canopy.
“Have fun for once!”
I groaned.
“Wait, is that ex of yours there?” Sheila asked, her voice dropping to annoyed.
“Yes.”
“She had the nerve, huh?”
“Let’s not gang up on her.”
“We were never friends, and you know I was always wary of her since that time she dated Yash. I dunno. Something about a person talking about their relationship issues to others is disturbing. Especially outside of their immediate circle. Anyway, she left you and had you believing you weren’t capable of love. How am I supposed to react? You may keep your composure, but I say what’s on my mind. She’s lucky I’m not there.”
“You know how I feel about holding on to resentment. There’s too many other, more important, stresses to worry about. Resentment poisons the heart. Also, what if we got back together? Then what?”
“Then she’d better have changed her tune, first and foremost. And if you’re happy and healthy, then I’m happy for you. But you can do better.”
Could I, though?
We chatted for a few more minutes before hanging up. Knowing that my dad was doing better was a relief, and that my sisters were nearby to help. I should really take over once I returned. Staying with my parents would drive Papa up the wall. He’d insist that he was fine, that we were all overreacting.
But when he’d had to stay for several days in the hospital because of kidney stones or surgery or whatever the case, he was never alone. Someone would stay at his side all day and sleep over every night. We’d take turns. Even if he was coherent and moved around on his own. It didn’t matter. For a few years there, we’d grown accustomed to hospital cafeteria food. We even had “picnics” in the dining area.
