I close my eyes and reach out. And out. And out some more. My magic senses sweep all around the house and grounds. They linger by the front gate where a spike of his essence still swirls. Along with an echo of his sudden fear.

A scream pours out of me. It’s true. The thing I was dreading and denying since the moment he was late for dinner can’t be denied any longer. The truth is laid out before my magic senses, as clear as day.

They have him. They have taken him.

Revivalists have my Drew.

The sun should not be shining this brightly. It’s not fair. My world has ended, life should not cheerfully go on without a care. The sun should no longer shine. Everything should be as dark as my mood.

“Is there really no one you trust to help?” asks Katy yet again.

I sigh and rub my eyes. I haven’t slept. Neither has she. Now we are sitting in her office in the bright morning sunlight, still trying to think of a plan.

“I mean, you know who is a Revivalist and who is not?”

Her words make me wince. Part of me is horrified that I folded and told her everything. But most of me understands that I need all the help I can get, and Katy can’t help if she doesn’t know what the hell is going on.

Nevertheless, talking openly about being a Revivalist feels so unnatural. A lifetime of secrecy and shadows is not so easy to shrug off.

“Unfortunately not,” I say. “Revivalists are not one homogenous group. There are factions. Factions within factions. In fighting. Power struggles. It’s a mess.”

Katy’s eyebrows rise and she nods thoughtfully.

“Truthfully, I think that’s why they haven’t succeeded in bringing the fey back. Too busy stabbing each other in the back.”

They. I referred to Revivalists as they. I like the feel of that on my tongue. I’m not one of them anymore. Not in my heart. Despite what the future is teasing.

“And the Council is definitely out?” she asks.

I nod. “Riddled with Revivalists.”

Katy sighs heavily and I quite agree. We are screwed. So screwed. There is no way we can get Drew back. We are entirely at their mercy.

But I think we will hear from them today. They will let us know their demands. And I will trade myself for Drew in a heartbeat. If that’s what they want.

But I know in my heart that it’s not.

I shiver and wrap my cardigan around myself tighter. The bitter truth is hard to deny. It’s staring me in the face and it’s time to acknowledge it.

It’s Imbolc. The first day of spring. The turning of the seasons. Midway between solstice and equinox. A powerful day for spell casting.

It’s also the end of my honeymoon, and the irony of that is almost enough to make me laugh. Even though I’ve never felt further from laughing in my life.

The stark truth is, they have my Drew. They have me trapped. Trapped with a very well preserved portal, and a very powerful fey dagger.

I know what they are going to demand in exchange for Drew.

And I’m going to give it to them.

Drew is worth the world. The fey can have it, I don’t care. As long as I have my husband, nothing else matters.

I’m out of options. There is no other path. Yet again, my life has boiled down to doing as I’m told. And I don’t care. If obedience is my life’s calling, then so be it. It’s the only way to get Drew back in my arms where he belongs. I need him. I can’t live without him. He is my rock and my anchor. My only defense against the stormy sea that is my life.

The fates have taken me full circle. I’m back at the beginning. I’m attempting my sacred task. As I was always meant to do.

“We need to find the dagger,” I say to Katy.

“Are you sure that is what they want?” she asks.

I nod. I feel awful for lying to her, but it has to be done. I gave Drew the dagger and told him to hide it. I’m not sure I can open the portal without it, so it has to be found. I need all the help I can get.

“Is giving them such a powerful tool a good idea?”

I meet her gaze evenly. “If it gets Drew back safe and sound, then yes.”

She stares at me for a moment and then she nods. I bite back my sigh of relief. She cares for Drew, just not as much as I do. She wants him safe, but I don’t think she’ll burn the world for him.

Not like I will.

I’m on my knees again. This is my least favorite way to be doing so. Kneeling in Drew’s closet, desperately searching for a fey dagger so I can destroy the world.

And save my husband. I must remember that part.

That has to be worth some forgiveness? Wanting to save the only person I’ve ever loved doesn’t make me evil. Does it? Do I even care if it does?

This world is cruel and dark and lonely. Drew is a shining light. It’s not a difficult choice. Perhaps a selfish one. But why should I care for a world that has never cared for me?

Katy runs in all breathless behind me and hope flares to life. Has she found it? I turn to face her. She points at her smartwatch.

“The bell at the front gate,” she explains. “They are here.”

I flow to my feet. “Keep looking, I will talk to them. Buy us more time.”

She nods and turns frantically away.

I hurry outside.

It’s only when I’m more than halfway down the driveway that I remember I’m wearing a dress. The red one Drew liked most out of all the things I tried on. The dress I was wearing when he spun me around the ballroom.

Was that really only yesterday? It feels like a lifetime ago.

The gravel crunches as I quicken my pace. I have much bigger problems than giving a fuck about people’s reactions to my fashion choices.

I stomp down the driveway and stop a few feet from the gate. One black car and a man I don’t know.