“Tell her she can stay here,” Nathan adds.
“Nathan said you can stay here too.”
“Good, because there’s not a chance in hell I’m staying with Mom and Bryce.” She makes a fake vomiting sound.
“I guess I’ll see you late Friday then.” We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone before walking over to Nathan. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough to hear you tell your sister not to come home because she couldn’t afford to,” he answers, deadpan. Then his expression softens. “Did you tell her about the baby?”
“Yeah. That’s why she wants to come home. She said she can’t stand me being alone.”
He grunts, and a look of hurt flashes across his face.
“I told her that I wasn’t,” I rush to explain. “That I’m with you, and that you’ve been way kinder to me than I probably deserve.”
He cocks his head, eyeing me with curiosity, and everything suddenly feels awkward and tense between us. I become aware of the closeness of our bodies. How a single step from either of us would have us flush against each other, and I want that so badly that I have to force myself to step back. I hate that I find so much comfort in the feel of his arms around me. I hate that I want so much more. That I want every part of him. Every night this week, I’ve lain awake, wanting to go to his bed and curl up beside him.
I’ve wondered how good it would feel to have his hands and mouth on me, and whether he could take away even a fraction of this bone-crushing despair I’m feeling, if only for a little while.
“Thank you for helping Ashley out, Nathan. It really means a lot to me.” I stare up into his deep brown eyes.
“It’s nothing,” he says, his voice thick with emotion.
I shake my head. “Not to me.” I press up onto my tiptoes, slide my hand to the back of his neck, and curl my fingers in the thick hair at the nape of his neck. Then I press my lips to his cheek, giving him the softest of kisses and inhaling his unique, comforting scent. A groan rolls in his throat, and I have to force myself to step back from him.
He’s still staring at me like he’s trying to see into my soul, and I feel the need to break the spell he has me under. I clear my throat. “I’ll go start on dinner.” With that, I retreat into the kitchen.
This arrangement is temporary. As soon as Tyler gets back, I’ll leave this penthouse, and Nathan James will be out of my life for good. If I allow myself to fall for him all over again, it will tear me apart when I have to leave. And I’m not sure I’d be able to put myself back together after losing him a second time.
Chapter
Sixty-Two
NATHAN
Mel rocks on the balls of her feet as she stares at the elevator doors. She’s been on edge all day, jittery and nervous, and probably excited too. From what she told me, she hasn’t seen her little sister since Christmas, and I know how hard that must be because I know how much I miss Drake and Maddox even though I could technically go see them whenever I want. The memory of our miserable Christmas at my father’s house, where the absence of both Mel and her sister was keenly felt by my father and brothers and me, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
I lean against the wall, watching her, my arms crossed over my chest. Teddy called less than a minute ago to say that Ashley was on her way up, and Mel practically bounced out of the den and down the hallway. I haven’t seen her this animated since before she lost the baby, and happiness warms my chest from the small glimpse of the person she was before.
The elevator doors open, and Ashley bounds out and straight into Mel’s waiting arms. She’s basically a smaller, younger version of her big sister, with the same bright green eyes and long chestnut-colored hair. I watch the two of them embrace, and after a few seconds Ashley starts to cry, making me feel like a voyeur intruding on their grief.
Until now, the grief has belonged to only Mel and me. Sharing that with her has felt intimate and brought me comfort. Now she’s sharing her grief with her sister, and while I know that’s as it should be, it also makes me feel less needed.
It’s late. I should head to bed and leave them to catch up without me watching over them, so that’s what I do. And when I’m lying in bed, I realize that in all my thirty-eight years on this earth, I have never felt more alone.
Mel sits cross-legged on the sofa in the den, coffee in her hands and stifling a yawn.
“Did you and your sister stay up late?” I ask, my tone full of concern despite my attempt to keep it light. But if she won’t let me look after her, she needs to take good care of herself.
“Yeah,” she says with a soft sigh. “I figure I need to grab onto all the sister time I can get before she goes back to Boston tomorrow.” Sadness washes over her features, and I can only imagine how hard it is for her having Ashley and Tyler so far away all the time.
I clear my throat. “What do you two have planned today?”
She rolls her eyes. “Ugh. Ashley’s favorite pastime—shopping.”
I take a seat on the sofa beside her. “You don’t like shopping?”
She wrinkles her nose. “Not really. I like shopping for a purpose, like if I need an outfit for something, but not just because. Ash, however, could shop all day, every day and never get bored of it.”
I run a hand over my jaw. “So we need to create an occasion for you to shop for.”
“Nah, I’m good.”
“But if that’s what it’s going to take to make today more fun for you, how about dinner tonight? I’ll take you and Ashley somewhere, and you can buy an outfit for that.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t want to go out.”
“Fine. I’ll cook dinner, but it can still be an occasion.”
Her cheeks flush pink, and she drops her head, biting on her bottom lip. Now I feel like an asshole because I know her funds are limited. I take my wallet from my back pocket and pull out my black Amex card. “Take this and buy you and Ash whatever you want.”
She blinks at me. “Are you serious?” Her accusatory tone makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. “After everything that’s happened between us—after what you accused me of—you think I’d take your money?”
I let out a heavy sigh. “Then take it for Ashley.”
She rolls her eyes again. “She doesn’t need your money either.”
