“Shh,” I soothe against her ear. “It’s okay.” I tell her this despite not feeling it. Right now everything feels as far from okay as it can possibly be. The feeling of powerlessness that pervades every part of my being is so acute that I taste it with every breath I take.
“I’m sorry, Nate,” she whispers, nestling her head against my chest. “For ruining us.”
I swear she just knocked the breath from my lungs. The blades of a thousand knives slice through my insides, and the swell of guilt and sadness that crashes over me makes my head spin. I hate that she carries so much guilt about everything. About us. Her family. The baby. “You didn’t ruin us, corazón,” I murmur, but I’m not sure she hears me over the sounds of the water and her crying.
Chapter
Sixty-One
MELANIE
“Hi, Mel, how are you feeling? I called a couple of times, but you didn’t answer. I figured you were still feeling sick as a dog.” My little sister’s excited voice fills my ear, and I choke back a sob. It’s taken me four days to summon the courage to call her. How do I tell her she’s not going to be an aunty after all? I guess the easiest way is to spit it out.
“I lost the baby, Ash.” I say it quietly, afraid to say the words too loudly because they’re too painful to remain in this room.
I hear her sharp inhale. “Oh, Mel. I’m so sorry.” She sobs the last word.
“Yeah, me too.”
“I’m coming home. I’ll catch a bus tonight and be in New York by tomorrow.”
“No, you will not,” I insist. “You’re not missing any classes.”
She huffs. “I can catch up on classes. Tyler’s away, right? I’m not leaving you on your own with this.”
“I’m not on my own. I’m staying with Nathan for a few weeks.”
“Oh.” Her tone softens. I told her we separated but left out most of the details. My sister, being who she is, didn’t press me. She knows I’ll tell her when I’m ready. “What’s that like?”
“It’s okay, actually. No, it’s good. He’s been super sweet and supportive.”
“As he should be.” She snorts. “I’m still coming home.”
I pinch the spot between my brows. “You will not miss classes and jeopardize your grades, Ash.”
She sighs dramatically. “I know how much you’ve sacrificed to put me through college. I won’t miss any classes.”
I heave a sigh of relief. “Good.”
“But I am coming home this weekend. I have a soccer game on Sunday, but I can get a train. Or I’ll fly home Friday after class and catch the red-eye back on Saturday.”
“You are not flying back here. Or getting on a train. You can’t afford the fare.”
“It’s a couple hundred bucks. You worry about me too much.”
No, you have no idea how little money there is. “Please listen to me. You need to save any extra money you have.” I lower my voice to a whisper. “There’s nothing left now. I paid your tuition and your rent, but everything else still needs to be covered, honey.”
She sobs softly. “I hate the thought of not being there for you, Mel.”
“Is that your sister?” Nathan’s deep, soothing voice comes from behind me, and I spin around to see him leaning against the doorframe. I nod.
He crosses his arms over his chest. “When’s she planning on coming back here?”
I blink at him while Ashley asks me what he’s saying.
“Mel?” he prompts.
I swallow down the knot in my throat. “Friday night.”
“Tell her I’ll have the jet at the airport for her.”
“What’s he saying?” Ashley persists.
“You don’t have to do that,” I say to him, ignoring my sister.
He shrugs. “What’s the point of having your own plane if not to use it?”
“Mel!” Ashley shouts.
“Nathan said he’ll send the jet for you Friday night if you’d like.”
She shrieks in my ear. “Yes! Yes, I’d like. And I can stay until Sunday morning if he can get me back here by noon.”
“She has to go back early Sunday morning and be back by midday,” I explain.
He nods. “That’s fine.”
“A private freaking jet. Oh my god.” Ashley giggles. “And I’ll get to see you.”
