And oh hell. Now he understood how seeing him with Staci would have an extra edge of pain, even though he and Kira weren’t seeing each other, secretly or otherwise. When he’d asked her out on Tuesday, she’d deflected, mentioning his girlfriend. He’d figured she meant Staci, but she also could have been probing, asking if he was the kind of guy who had a girlfriend but hit on other women.

“What Apollo did was painful, but also mortifying. Truth is, you’re the first person I’ve ever told about this.”

That caught him off guard. “I’m honored. And so sorry you felt the need to hide it.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have told you now if I hadn’t spilled the beans when I was out of it, but…I’m glad I did. Keeping it locked up has probably made it harder to let go.”

It was a long time to hold on to pain, but then, she’d been all of seventeen and she’d had a crush on Apollo since she was twelve.

By the time they got together, Apollo had been twenty, a legal adult. Rand had no idea what the laws in Pennsylvania were, then or now, but guessed the three-year age gap was within the legal limits for a minor. Still, that probably wouldn’t have stopped protective Conrad Hanson from going after the young man if he’d known. No wonder the relationship had been secret.

Did this have anything to do with Hanson’s dislike of Rand from the start? Was it because of his association with Freya? “Do you think your father knew?”

“I think he figured it out after Apollo died. I was a wreck. A little too upset, according to some. But I was not the most mature teenager to begin with.”

“That’s hard to imagine.” They’d resumed walking as she told the bitter story, and now they reached the part of the fort where an entrance fee was required. Rand paid it, and they strolled through the stone walls, but this time, he wasn’t taking in the history or design.

“I was pretty sheltered. Homeschooled until seventh grade will do that. We moved around a bunch before my dad got the permanent teaching job. I don’t remember most of the places we lived on the East Coast before we settled in Pennsylvania when I was ten. With all the moves, I never really had friends. When I finally started public school, I didn’t fit in with the kids in my class. Academically, sure. I was trilingual and reading at a college level in two of those languages before I ever sat in a classroom. But the social stuff? I was hopeless.

“Shy. Awkward. I looked younger than everyone else and hit puberty later, which didn’t help. I didn’t get my first period until I was fifteen—tenth grade—which is on the later end, but normal. Still, I was mortified. In ninth-grade gym class, we had a six-week swimming unit, and I sat out a week like all the other girls, pretending I’d had a period… It seems ridiculous now, but it meant so much at the time. I was desperate to fit in, but I looked and acted like a child. I suppose having sex with Apollo my senior year gave me a false sense of maturity. Like if I could do that, I was an adult. Or at least as grown up as the other seniors.”

“I’m pretty sure you aren’t the only adolescent to think that.”

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?”

“First, I want to point out that virginity is a social construct. It doesn’t actually mean anything.”

“True, but it’s our culture’s social construct. I told you mine. You tell me yours.”

“I was like you. In retrospect, it was too early—fifteen. But at the time, I thought I was the shit. She was older—my calculus tutor. My dad fired her when I got a D after all that tutoring. I know he wanted to report it, but I wouldn’t cooperate. Young and full of hormones that don’t make sense. Desperate to grow up fast.”

She looked out at the water as they strolled along the fort’s high walls. “So, it’s safe to say we both got off to a rocky start when it came to sex and relationships.”

“Yeah. I did like the sex part, though.”

She laughed. “Same. I enjoyed it. It only felt like a mistake when he posthumously broke my heart.”

It was time to move on from the heavy topic. Rand stopped and turned to face her. “Okay, so you’ve explained Apollo, but I want to know why you asked the other question.”

Her brow furrowed. “Other question?”

He took her hand and ran his thumb over her knuckles, watching her face closely as he said, “Yes. You asked if I was allergic to strawberries.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

“I asked that?” Kira’s voice was high-pitched with alarm she couldn’t hide. She did not want to tell him why she’d asked about strawberries. If she did, she’d confirm how much she’d wanted him, even then. It had been hard to fight the attraction that had burned bright when he’d been a virtual stranger.

It would be even harder now that he’d saved her life twice and was here to protect her once again. Giving in to it could be a mistake, especially when he might be fueled by a misguided sense of duty.

“Yes, you did. What does it mean?” His voice was soft and sexy, and she wanted to melt in the summer heat.

She pulled her hand from his and wondered if there was any chance he’d believe her reddening face was due to the incessant heat. “The question is pretty straightforward. Are you allergic?”

“No. No food allergies. You?”

“None that I know of.”

“Okay. So what was so urgent about strawberries that day?”

She touched his chiseled jawline. He’d shaved this morning and was back to being the clean-cut Navy man she’d wanted to coat with strawberry ice cream and lick all over, but she was such a dork, worries that he might have an anaphylactic reaction had throttled the fantasy.

She ran her thumb along his chin and looked him straight in the eye as she said, “I have no idea.”

His eyes narrowed as a smile played about his lips. “Right.” He touched her nose. “Your nose is growing.”

This was like it had been that first day. Electricity—chemistry—tingling the air between them. That, at least, was real.

She stepped back. “Can I trust you, Rand? I mean really trust you. Are you working for Freya? Spying on me?”

He stiffened, and she figured she’d offended him, but she had to ask the question. Her next decision hinged on his answer.

“My only employer is the US Navy. I took an oath to my country and the constitution. The Navy agreed I should follow you to Malta because it was in their interests. If they’d said no, I would have honored my oath and stayed in Virginia. But I came to Malta for you. Because I care about you. Not for Freya. Not for FMV. Not even the Navy. I’m here for you.”

His words hit her in a vulnerable spot. She hadn’t known how much she needed to hear the conviction in his voice. So much for keeping distance between them. She swallowed and took a step toward him, then cupped his cheeks in her hands.

His pull was magnetic, so she rose on her toes. He leaned down, decreasing the distance between them, but stopping shy of meeting her lips. He stared at her with such intensity, she had to close her eyes and breathe.

How many times had she imagined this moment? Every day since they’d met. Multiple times a day. Endless fantasies that were sometimes chaste, but more often carnal.

A breeze tugged at the skirt of her sundress as they stood at the top of the fort in the blazing afternoon sun. At long last, she made her wistful dreams come true and moved the last millimeters that separated them. Rand hesitated a moment, but then his arms circled her waist and brought their bodies flush together as their lips met.

He explored her mouth, soft and easy, but then Kira slid her hands from his cheeks to cradle the back of his neck as she opened to let him inside. He accepted her invitation and deepened the kiss. The slide of his tongue against hers lit a fire that competed with the scorching heat of the Maltese summer day.

Kissing Rand was better than any of those hundreds of fantasies. It was a good thing they were in a public place or she would get lost in him. Instead, she slowly extracted herself, first pulling from his arms, still with her mouth to his. She returned her hands to his cheeks and finally dropped to her heels, releasing his lips while still cupping his face.

She opened her eyes and met his intense gaze, breathing in the perfection of the moment. Then she closed her eyes again and gave him her trust. “I didn’t come here for the boat ride or to see the fort. There’s something I haven’t told you—or anyone—about the letters my father received from his so-called ‘friend.’ They weren’t mailed to the Maryland house. They were all—thirty years’ worth of letters—sent to an address in Malta. Birgu, to be exact. It’s only a few blocks away. Today, I want to go there. With you.”

The cell phone in Rand’s pocket chose that moment to vibrate. He pressed a quick kiss to Kira’s lips, then stepped back and pulled out his phone to check the screen. He frowned at seeing their hotel listed as the caller.

He hit the Speaker button and said, “Fallon.”

“Mr. Fallon, this is Renaldo at the front desk. We’ve had complaints from your neighbors downstairs about the noise in your room, but were unable to call your room phone because it’s in use. Can you please cease the hammering or whatever it is you are doing?”

Rand could see the hotel across the water and counted down the floors to spot his blue-painted enclosed balcony. “I’m not in my room. It’s been more than an hour since I was there. Send security to find out what’s going on.”