“I have to hurt people who laugh at me,” Conan threatened.
Evan and Andy laughed in reply.
Conan turned to Kermit. “Why are they laughing like that?”
Kermit shrugged. “Beats me. I guess they think you’re funny.”
“Oh, is that right?” Conan shouted angrily, turning back to Evan and Andy. “You two think I’m funny?”
Evan and Andy held their sides and laughed.
“Give me my Frisbee!” Kermit shouted.
“Okay. Go chase it.” Conan flung the Frisbee across the hedges. It sailed over two yards and disappeared in a clump of evergreen shrubs.
Kermit went running after it.
Conan scowled at Evan and Andy. “I’m going to count to three,” he growled. “And if you don’t stop laughing by the count of three, I’ll make you stop!” He raised both fists to show them how he would make them stop.
“One …” Conan said.
Evan laughed. Andy pressed her hand over mouth, but couldn’t stop a giggle from escaping.
“Two …” Conan counted, his face twisted in anger.
I’ve got to stop laughing! Evan told himself. I’m in serious trouble here. Serious.
He opened his mouth, and a booming “Hahahahaha!” burst out.
Andy had both hands pressed over her mouth. But it didn’t stop the snickers and guffaws from pouring out her nose.
Kermit came jogging back into the backyard. “I can’t find the Frisbee,” he complained. “Somebody has to help me. I can’t find it anywhere.”
Conan turned to him. “You sure you don’t know why they’re laughing like that?” he asked.
Kermit shook his head. “They told me they think you’re funny-looking,” he told Conan. “I guess that’s why they’re laughing.”
I don’t believe this! Evan thought, so angry he wanted to explode. That little creep! How can he do this to us?
Conan turned back to Andy and Evan. “Last chance to stop,” he said. He took a deep breath, stretching out his big, powerful chest. “Three!”
Andy laughed.
Evan laughed even harder.
“I warned you,” Conan growled.
Andy phoned Evan that night to see how he was feeling. Evan had to hold the phone away from his ear. His head hurt too much to press a phone against it.
“I guess I’ll survive,” Evan groaned. “I’m getting used to looking in the mirror and seeing a pile of coleslaw where my head used to be.”
Andy sighed. “Your cousin is such a creep,” she said.
“How are you feeling?” Evan asked. “How long did it take you to climb down from the tree?”
“Not too many hours,” Andy replied weakly.
Conan had said he never hit girls. So he picked Andy up and stuck her onto a high tree branch.
“At least Conan stopped us from laughing,” Evan said. “My stomach still hurts from laughing so hard.”
“Mine, too,” Andy told him. “I’m never going to laugh again. Never. If someone tells me the funniest joke in the world, I’ll just smile and say, ‘Very funny.’”
“I can’t believe Kermit did that to us,” Evan moaned.
“I believe it,” Andy replied dryly. “Kermit will do anything to get us into trouble. That’s what he lives for—getting us into major trouble.”
“Did you hear that little mouse laughing while Conan pounded me into the ground?” Evan asked.
“I was up in the tree, remember? I could see him laughing!” Andy declared.
There was a long silence at the other end. And then Andy spoke in a hushed voice, just above a whisper, “Evan—are you ready to use the Monster Blood on Kermit?”
“Yeah,” Evan replied without having to think about it even for a second. “I’m ready.”
