Tony.

Ugh. Why did he have to show up here? Why? She splashed water on her face. And why did he have to look like a movie star? Why couldn’t he be fat, old, and ugly?

But Tony was always good-looking. That’s how he got all the girls. Joy shook her head.

Why did he come? To woo me back? She closed her eyes and submerged in the water, hoping to disappear from the world for a few moments. Or maybe forever.

Thoughts of Tony filled her mind as she soaked in the soapy water. Her heartbeat and rhythmic breathing relaxed her anxious mind.

As the tension ebbed away with each beat of her heart, a sense of calm washed over her. But as she emerged from the water, the vivid images of Tony only intensified, lingering in her mind like stubborn ghosts refusing to fade away.

Ghosts of pain and heartbreak.

She wiped her eyes. Why, Lord? Why?

She slammed her hand against the tub, then grabbed a towel to wipe soap off her face.

Why him, and why now?

Joy didn’t know why it was happening, but she knew she’d better be firm in her response to him.

I don’t care how heartbroken he is. This time in Venice is about me.

For the first time in a long time, confidence greeted Joy like a long-lost friend.

She only hoped the confidence would stick around for a while.

“Would you like to dance?” Tony asked Joy at the high school dance.

It was the last dance of the 1984 school year before the Christmas break. She hadn’t even wanted to go to the dance, but her friends talked her into it.

And now the most popular boy in the senior class stood before her with hand extended and a smile that weakened her knees.

“Sure.” She took his hand and followed him to the dance floor where fellow teens swayed to a slow song by Prince or Madonna. Joy couldn’t remember.

All she remembered was that Tony Milton, the captain of the football team, asked her to dance.

Joy wasn’t one of the popular girls, but she had a lot of friends from all walks of life. Why was Tony asking her to dance? He must have lost a bet.

In his arms, though, Joy didn’t care about the reason. All she cared about was how tall he was, his dark blonde hair, slim, muscular torso underneath his sweater, and his scent.

Polo cologne.

“Thanks again for helping me with my chemistry homework,” he said.

“No problem,” Joy replied without looking up at him. Instead she glanced around the gymnasium. Girls smiled at her and giggled. Her friends flashed her a thumbs-up as they stood by the bleachers, cheering for her.

So that’s why he asked me to dance. To thank me. She rolled her eyes. A pity dance.

“I honestly don’t think I would have passed that class without your help,” he continued.

Finally, Joy allowed herself to look into his eyes. His light hazel eyes. “You’re welcome.”

And that was it.

She was hooked. She was his.

Tony asked her out a few days later, and they spent every day of Christmas break together.

Months later, after graduation, Tony proposed, and two and a half years after that high school dance, Joy and Tony married.

He had a football scholarship but gave it up for an academic scholarship to Penn State, so Joy followed him and studied art.

After Jaime was born, Joy devoted her life to making a home for her little family. Tony’s brilliance and charisma always worked in his favor, and soon he had his own consulting business, making millions of dollars a year.

Now in Venice, Joy wrapped herself in a soft hotel robe and rested on the bed, reflecting on those early years in her marriage.

The years she lost herself and her identity. She willingly handed it over to other people and too often.

Tony’s success moved them to New Rochelle, New York, where Jaime attended a posh private school and then entered Rhode Island School of Design to study photography. Life was good.

Joy thought back to her time in the Junior League and other women’s groups, women’s ministry at church, golfing with Tony and couples from his work, entertaining at their house in New Rochelle and at their beach home in Morehead City, North Carolina. Christmas parties, New Year’s Eve parties, birthday parties, and on it went for decades.

A perfect life.

A perfect couple.

Looking back, Joy thought she was happy back then. But soon she realized she was blinded.

Blinded by the prosperity.

Blinded to what Tony was doing behind her back.

Blinded to how she had lost herself.

Blinded to how she put God last.

“Ugh. How could I have been so stupid?” Joy punched a pillow. “No. I won’t do this to myself. I won’t revisit the past. Why go backwards when I can’t change anything?” she said to no one.

She rushed to the window and opened the shutters, revealing nightfall over Venice. Italian music from the café below rose to greet her, as did conversations in Italian between patrons. The ocean breeze fluttered through the lace curtains and blew her brown hair away from her concerned face, relaxing her expression.

Easing her mind.

I won’t let this man ruin my time in Venice like I let him ruin so many other things. I feel badly about him and Tiffany, but that’s that. She inhaled and slowly exhaled the stress.

Her phone vibrated, startling her.